No matter what I do, where I go, how I carry myself, yesterday’s shadow follows. However hard I try to swim, it catches up the moment I find a spot to breathe. It’s never enough!
It’s not your fault the trinkets of rain whisper into my ear as they flow to join and con me into the sea thinking that it is forgiving. Alas, maybe I can breathe? No, an angry tidal wave strips me of all what I stand beside, exposing my stance against this enormous and hideously clotted coral reef. I’ve tried to decorate the reef with my own gems. Pity the jewels don’t shine on the dark reef. It’s not enough to cover the ghastly sight. There is no life within this reef; it’s a hollow shell of yesterday’s calamity following into tomorrow. The wave beats down on me deeper and harder. I have nothing to keep me afloat except silk lies and satin secrets. Those jewels don’t last a lifetime no matter how much I try to rejuvenate them. What can I do? I can’t fly I’m anchored down. I can’t drown because there maybe light amidst the unforgiving sea. Constantly battered by the sea and teased to drown. Please, why can’t you let me be!!
Neither am I unique nor a part of anything in this unforgiving sea. Am I worthy of it? No, not at all! I am just another veteran of the damned possibly drowning in this relentless sea. The glittering moments are mere sparkles that quickly change into tears of . . . no, not of joy but acid. I am one and I am alone. Why am I responsible for a ripple that wasn’t caused by me? Why should I be dragged down by this dysfunctional blasphemy? Damned I am, I’m tired of taking the constant lashes, the waves that come one after another. It’s not my fault! Why should I have to stand these tidal waves??!
The sea has neither remorse nor pain. I’ve been cast into the dome of shame. Selfish sea let me be!!! The stench of blood lurks around, why is it that the predators sea don’t even want to gnaw at me. Am I that ghastly? Damn you leech! You haven’t left me to live normally and not even good enough to die in misery. Dysfunction and bad morality of blood, is it my fault? Ah, yes blood! It’s thicker yet it’s just the same as the salty bitter sea. No regret no shame! A turn out of blood is not what it seems. Shame oh the shame! Left for no body of water and no air to breathe. I wish I could say goodbye.
Maybe I’m just part of this universal controversy
I’m waiting and have been waiting patiently. It’s running out too quickly.
Thank you God.
. . . . find me peace within these walls of the sea you have bestowed upon me.
