the ex, the girl, and the new guy

[OYMWA]

Re: the ex, the girl, and the new guy

@akaprincess

Hi, so I am going to give you a scenario, and any responses are greatly appreciated.. It involves the girl, the ex, and the new guy. I will try to be as less confusing as possible.

So, the girl meets the ex about 3 years ago. they date for a few months, then indirectly break up. when I say indirectly, it was never really official and neither was it actually said, it just kind of died off, against the girl’s wishes. the ex till this day (3 years later) still sees the girl, reiterating how important she is to him and how he needs her in his life blah blah, yet they are not together. The ex refuses to be with anybody else, wont be with the girl, and wont let the girl out of his life either. The ex refers to her as someone he can trust and wants her in his life. It makes no sense, I know. And ALOT of messed up scenarios have happened till date which makes the girl want to back off completely, but for some reason, it would hurt her either way (contact vs no contact).
The girl still has feelings for the ex, assuming mainly due to the fact that the ex is still in her life, but show knows it’s not going to work out between them, although hope never dies? whatever. Point is- she still cares. She has asked to get back together but the ex always has lame excuses (life problems etc, dumb stuff). She hasn’t even thought about being with anybody else in all this time, although she has had the chance, just never took it cuz those guys were never worth it.

Till now.

Present day – (again, 3 years later) the new guy comes into the picture by chance, and because it is such a small world after all – the new guy and the ex end up meeting through a common friend, so they have had the chance to spend a little time together but are not friends. The ex calls the girl within 1 day of meeting the new guy and questions the girl if the new guy has hit on her, she says no. the ex says the new guy was asking about her (if she is available etc) and he basically told the new guy she is a nice girl etc but to not hit on her (in a bro-code way). After which the girl noticed the new guy kind of backed off and stopped talking to her, but then continued after the girl spoke to him and told him she is single, the new guy has made it clear that he is interested and possibly might want to move forward.
The new guy is what the girl is looking for in a guy, he is educated, comes from a good family, very kind hearted, respectful, good mix of desi/Americanized ways, etc etc. her “type” of guy

My questions –

1. If the ex isn’t interested, why is he stopping other guys from pursuing the girl?

2. Could the “feelings” she has for the ex be due to the fact that she is just used to having him around? He has hurt her immensely on a few occasions, which he is aware of, yet did nothing to make it better.

3. If the new guy is the first time the girl has even thought about another guy, could this mean psychologically she is over the ex and just needed the right guy to show her that?

4. Obviously the new guy is someone special or else she wouldn’t be thinking about him. Even if things end up not working out between them, could this mean the girl has already moved on but never realized it till now? Cuz she wouldn’t be thinking about someone else if that wasn’t the case, right?

Sorry for the long post, but I felt it was needed to properly assess the situation. Thanks again

This is called analysis-paralysis. Don’t over think. Kick out the ex; go with the new guy. There will be drama. Ignore it.