The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

Justice demands that every man should like for others what he likes for himself. BUT “alot of” men in our society don’t want their own sister/mother/daughter/wife to be looked at immorally but at the same time their own eyes are lustfully and thirstily scanning the clothes of women who are dressed modestly as well as the women who are not dressed properly.

In alot of families the stress is laid on the women to not dress improperly but who would QUESTION the same “advising” men for not controlling their own EYES ?!?! (when they are looking at other women)

Most of the times “be-haya” (immodest) word is used for the women who don’t wear proper clothes but rarely the same word is used for the men who try to rape women’s body with their eyes. WHY ?!?

Most of the times women are blamed for becoming prostitutes, BUT relatively lesser times those men are blamed who regularly visit those prostitutes and pay them money for abusing them emotionally and physically. It is the women who has to suffer in all ways, in the end, but rarely the abusers are punished!! Is THIS what is called “Equality of the rights of Men and Women” ??

Mostly girls are criticized for being presented as a dumy painted objects to seduce men, but rarely are any actions taken against the MEN who play the major role in “forcing” and “persuading” women to become sexual objects and decorations pieces. Also no effective action is taken by the Government against the men who are controlling the mafia of SEX and MEDIA in almost all societies. WHY ?!?

Where are the times when most of the men were the symbol of Protection for women, respecting her for her grace, character and personality (without scanning her body). MEN, who should only be interested in the body of his own wife, alot of them seems to be satisfying the thirst of their eyes by visually raping the bodies of other women (who actually belong to someone else)

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

I dont think there was ever a time in history or a place on the planet where men did not look at women. Its the nature of the beast, yeah? The thing is to raise your sons to be respectful of women and raise your daughters to dress modestly.

I think many will disagree but I personally dont see anything too wrong when a man admires a beauty. As long as its done respectfully...theres a big difference between casting an admiring glance and staring with ogling, drooling leers. All of us, men and women, enjoy looking at beautiful things.

If your man sees a beauty at a social gathering, you'd be fooling yourself and be expecting the impossible if you want him to simply not notice her! Again, it comes down to behaving respectfully. If the beauty is appreciated in the way that a fine painting or a rainbow would be appreciated, where's the harm? The harm is when she's leered at and thats reflective of their upbringing. If a boy is taught that a woman who causes men to look at her is deserving of whatever bad behavior the men choose, well thats where the problem begins.

I guess the only way to avoid this whole situation completely is to have every female dress in those big head-to-toe burkhas. I'd much prefer the teaching of respect. When the burkha method is used, then any woman who is not hiding under a tent is fair game for whatever behavior the men choose and this not only perpetuates the problem but is completely unfair to women, teaches them that they are to be hidden away.

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

Submission To Peace,

are you one of the girls who are trying to enforce mullatic rule in Islamabad?

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

very sadfl post..and bitter reality...
98% men do not lower thier gaze ..including me lso at sometimes......

most of our hardships....difficulties...diseases.......etc are just the consequence of neglecting this command of Allah...

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

^ Well said brother.

@Mamaof3. I understand your point, but about looking at na-mehrams, your and mine comments doesn't matter. The verse of Quran (Surah-e-Noor Ayat 30) matters. Which clearly says to men to lower their gaze when they come across na-mehrams. But I do understand that there is flexibility in some cases like when you intend to marry a woman, or when a docktor is doing checkup...etc.

@LuxuryItem. I just said what I felt was right. I might be wrong. If you feel I am wrong anywhere kindly mention the point and correct me with logical reasonings. Your one line comment consisting of a guess about my gender won't help me in learning anything from you, specially related to the topic.
Thanks :)

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

if i may, logically, it is all about every woman and man making up the society, who must endure the principles of inner transparent nature and consistent example of unquestionable outer actions.
intentions, guide actions, therefore, a mental reconfiguration, in fact cleaning, is what is needed.
and then everything around us must reflect what we mean.
an example:
if we say that it is 'unislamic', that we dislike a woman or a man exhibiting themselves, we must not support or promote that watching anything on our tv screens, that is just that.
we ought to prefer physiological sex education in schools, and community centers to teach the physical intimacy and sex ethics, age-appropriately, to growing young children, instead of confusing them by ourselves seeing and then telling them to stay away from unhealthy curiosity of seeking the implicit and demoralising 'entertainment',
through which our men learn only utter disregard for a woman's body and its sanctity.
and it has influence on so much, that then it becomes out of control.
most important - if it is all allowed to all men, then it can not be disallowed to any woman.
and so, there you have it - total disaster.

this is why, it is so crucial to set examples as like-minded ethical couples who should get together and it is necessary for them to teach their off spring that all the permutations in promiscuity of the world is actually filth and self destruction.
Muslim women and men must do this, by checking their own behaviors, for the sake of next generation's health and moral up-lifting so that we may show our faces to Allah, as people who did not ABUSE our own bodies and other peoples as sexual beings.

as for the evil men's gaze and deeds - Almighty will address that as Allah has promised.

dushwari

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

Dear Aunty Submission,

We all feel many right things. Some of us feel many excellent things. It doesn't mean you start writing about them. What's funny is that you are writing about something that feels right to you but makes no real sense whatsoever.

Gross generalizations are stupid and shouldn't be written about.

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

Beautifully explained Dushwari sister.I agree

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

No one is bound to share his views unless there is anything immoral in it. I am trying to present the reality on the basis of how I look at it and understand it, and you are doing it on the basis of how you look at it. Both of us have the right to do so.

I agree, it makes no real sense to "YOU", but we can't say about others on this forum. Infact only you have clearly disagreed till now. Others are presenting their own logical resonings related to the issue. :)

No Gross generalizations here. Kindly check my posts, I have used the word "Alot of" instead of "All of" the men.

p.s. You have failed again to guess my gender. I am a male. Also I am looking forward to your logical reasonings on the real issue of the topic, on the basis of what you think is right or wrong. :)

Thanks

Re: The Evil of Men’s Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :rotfl: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

^ Well, I actually meant that I didn't say "Most of" the men. Anyways, I feel happy that something I said made you laugh. Atleast you got something to laugh at, though it didn't contributed anything useful to the topic under discussion :D

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

thanks dear brother stp.

may Allah make us all be true to our words and pious in our actions.
amen.

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

^ Ameen.

Once a scholar gave me a good example. He said that our eyes are like doors to our heart. When we look at all the forbidden things, we are actually allowing the impurities to enter through this door into the heart. If we persist in doing so, a time would come when our heart would become totally impure, and would give rise to impure desires which would encourage us to satisfy our desires through immoral ways.....Thus not lowering gaze acts as a first step towards adopting immoral ways of satisfying ones sexual desires.

So, the better way is to shut this door to impurities. BUT if at any stage in the past we were tempted to let such impurities to enter our heart through our eyes. Than we must remove such impurities from our heart and eyes either through the tears of repentence or through reciting the Holy Quran. (with the intentions of trying our level best not to repeat our mistakes/sins)

If we don't remove these impurities now, they would be removed with the fire of hell in the life hereafter. The more the intensity of impurity the more the intensity and duration of the fire of hell, as only pure things can enter heaven.

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

mmm interesting u knw i have read many of ur posts STP n u have enlightened me in many aspects of religion that i wasnt even aware of so THANK U verrrrrry much!

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^ Thanks sister for the kind words of encouragement, which I dont deserve.
I myself am not a very good muslim, but am trying to become a good muslim like most of the people here. I need prayers of pious people like you inorder to become a practically good muslim.

JazakAllah khair. May Allah bless you and your family with all the blessings of this life and hereafter.

Re: The Evil of Men’s Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

The Great Virtue of Lowering the Gaze

By Imaam Ibnul-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

Allaah, the Exalted said,

“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them. Indeed Allaah is well acquainted with all that they do.” [an-Nur (24):30]

So Allaah made purification and spiritual growth to be the outcome of lowering the gaze and guarding the private parts. It is for this reason that lowrering ones gaze from (seeing) the prohibited things necessarily leads to three benefits that carry tremendous value and are of great significance.

The First: experiencing the delight and sweetness of faith.

This delight and sweetness is far greater and more desirable that which might have been attained from the object that one lowered his gaze from for the sake of Allaah. Indeed, "whosoever leaves something for the sake of Allaah then Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent, will replace it with something better than

it." {1}

The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the eye is the guide of the heart. The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it. Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye as is said:

When you sent your eye as a guide

For your heart one day, the object of sight fatigued you

For you saw one over whom you had no power

Neither a portion or in totality, instead you had to be patient.

Therefore when the sight is prevented from looking and investigating the heart finds relief from having to go through the arduous task of (vainly) seeking and desiring.

Whosoever lets his sight roam free will find that he is in a perpetual state of loss and anguish for sight gives birth to love (mahabbah) the starting point of which is the heart being devoted and dependant upon that which it beholds. This then intensifies to become fervent longing (sabaabah) whereby the heart becomes totally dependant and devoted to the (object of its desire). Then this further intensifies and becomes infatuation (gharaamah) which clings to the heart like the one seeking repayment of a debt clings firmly to the one who has to pay the debt. Then this intensifies and becomes passionate love (ishk) and this is a love that transgresses all bounds. Then this further intensifies and becomes crazed passion (shaghafa) and this a love that encompasses every tiny part of the heart. Then this intensifies and becomes worshipful love (tatayyuma). Tatayyum means worship and it is said: tayyama Allaah i.e. he worshipped Allaah.

Hence the heart begins to worship that which is not correct for it to worship and the reason behind all of this was an illegal glance. The heart is now bound in chains whereas before it used to be the master, it is now imprisoned whereas before it was free. It has been oppressed by the eye and it complains to it upon which the eye replies: I am your guide and messenger and it was you who sent me in the first place!

All that has been mentioned applies to the heart that has relinquished the love of Allaah and being sincere to Him for indeed the heart must have an object of love that it devotes itself to. Therefore when the heart does not love Allaah Alone and does not take Him as its God then it must worship something else.

Allaah said concerning Yusuf as-Siddeeq (AS),

“Thus (did We order) so that We might turn away from him all evil and indecent actions for he was one of Our sincere servants.” [Yusuf (12): 24]

It was because the wife of al-Azeez was a polytheist that (the passionate love) entered her heart despite her being married. It was because Yusuf (AS) was sincere to Allaah that he was saved from it despite his being a young man, unmarried and a servant.

The Second: the illumination of the heart, clear perception and penetrating insight.

Ibn Shujaa` al-Kirmaanee said, “whosoever builds his outward form upon following the Sunnah, his internal form upon perpetual contemplation and awareness of Allaah, he restrains his soul from following desires, he lowers his gaze from the forbidden things and he always eats the lawful things then his perception and insight shall never be wrong.”

Allaah mentioned the people of Lut and what they were afflicted with and then He went on to say,

“Indeed in this are signs for the Mutawassimeen.” [al-Hijr (15): 75]

The Mutwassimeen are those who have clear perception and penetrating insight, those who are secure from looking at the unlawful and performing indecent acts.

Allaah said after mentioning the verse concerning lowering the gaze,

“Allaah is the Light of the heavens and the earth.” [an-Nur (24): 35]

The reason behind this is that the reward is of the same type as the action. So whosoever lowers his gaze from the unlawful for the sake of Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent, He will replace it with something better than it of the same type. So just as the servant restrained the light of his eye from falling upon the unlawful, Allaah blesses the light of his sight and heart thereby making him perceive what he would not have seen and understood had he not lowered his gaze.

This is a matter that the person can physically sense in himself for the heart is like a mirror and the base desires are like rust upon it. When the mirror is polished and cleaned of the rust then it will reflect the realities (haqaa`iq) as they actually are. However if it remains rusty then it will not reflect properly and therefore its knowledge and speech will arise from conjecture and doubt.

The Third: the heart becoming strong, firm and courageous.

Allaah will give it the might of aid for its strength just as He gave it the might of clear proofs for its light. Hence the heart shall combine both of these factors and as a result, Shaytaan shall flee from it. It is mentioned in the narration, "whosoever opposes his base desires, the Shaytaan shall flee in

terror from his shade." {2}

This is why the one who follows his base desires shall find in himself the ignominy of the soul, its being weak, feeble and contemptible. Indeed Allaah places nobility for the one who obeys Him and disgrace for the one who disobeys Him,

“So do not lose heart nor fall into despair; for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith.” [Aali Imraan(3): 139]

“If any do seek for nobility and power then to Allaah belongs all nobility and power.” [Faatir(35): 10]

Meaning that whosoever seeks after disobedience and sin then Allaah, the Might and Magnificent, will humiliate the one who disobeys Him.

Some of the salaf said, “the people seek nobility and power at the door of the Kings and they will not find it except through the obedience of Allaah.”

This is because the one who who obeys Allaah has taken Allaah as his friend and protector and Allaah will never humiliate the one who takes his Lord as friend and patron. In the Du`aa Qunut their occurs, “the one who You take as a friend is not humiliated and the one who You take as an enemy is not ennobled.” {3}

FOOTNOTES:

{1} Reported by Ahmad [5/363], al-Marwazee in 'Zawaaid az-Zuhd' [no. 412], an-Nasaaee in ‘al-Kubraa’ as mentioned in ‘Tuhfah al-Ashraaf’ [11/199] from one of the Companions that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, “indeed you will not leave anything for the sake of Allaah except that Allaah will replace it with something better than it.” The isnaad is saheeh.

{2} This is not established as a hadeeth of the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam)

{3} Reported by Abu Daawood [Eng. Trans. 1/374 no. 1420], an-Nasaa`ee [3/248], at-Tirmidhee [no. 464], ibn Maajah [no. 1178], ad-Daarimee [1/311], Ahmad [1/199], ibn Khuzaymah [2/151] from al-Hasan from Alee (RA). The hadeeth is saheeh. The isnaad has been criticized by many, however none of the criticisms hold. Refer to: ‘Nasb ar-Raayah’ [2/125] and ‘Talkhees al-Habeer’ [1/247]

http://72.14.253.104/search?q=cache:XNJjqUFSSpkJ:www.troid.org/articles/ibaadah/knowledge/other/gaze.htm+eye+jawziyyah+heart&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=4&gl=pk&ie=UTF-8

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

My comments here are directed to those who choose to live in mixed societes, not those who live in Pakistan or Islaamic societies...

ok, modesty and lowering your gaze in the presence of a woman is fine when you're in Islaamic culture. But if you choose to live in mixed society, you'd be seen as odd. Modest dress is fine, but a man who lowers his gaze whenever a woman is present, well how will he be able to function in the business world? How will he be able to get around on a normal basis...since women in mixed societies do not follow the codes of modest dress. The guy would have to keep his eyes on his feet all day long. What if his boss and some of his peers are female? Downcast eyes are seen as either rude or avoiding truthfulness. A man who was raised properly should be able to function and be around women without getting all atwist. And if it is of major importance to you then you should consider remaining within strictly Islaamic society. No offense intended.

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

^ That is a valid point. I have also faced this problem on a number of occassions. But with time people do understood my beliefs themselves, as we don't need to announce it to them, our body language is enough if we communicate clearly with wisdom.

I think we must try our level best to avoid such situations and try possible alternatives where we don't have to directly communicate face to face with members of opposite gender, but if anyone approaches us or we are forced into a situation where we have to interact, than we might do it with "wisdom" and also praying to Allah for forgiveness as Allah knows what exactly are our intentions in our hearts. We don't need to give explanations to Allah (swt)

I think Islam shows flexibility in some situations like if one's boss is alot more elder than one's mother,...etc.

On the other hand Islam also doesn't teach us to be rude with people or embarrass them in public by announcing infront of other people about our beliefs.

If we pray to Allah for Hikmat "Wisdom" and also try our level best to keep a balance by obeying Allah and also not offending people, inshAllah we would be successful. Also most people in the offical areas do understand our beliefs from our behaviour, body language and daily practice.

Allah says in the Quran that Allah does not put us in a situation beyond our endurance and control, so Allah would reward us on the basis of how much we respect His orders and try our level best to follow them.

Laisal insaana ila masa'a.

A man gets for what he tries for. (Quran)

I might be wrong in some cases as I am not a religious scholar and I have no referrance to support my views, but I have said what I sincerely feel and honestly understand.

Allah knows BEST

@ Dawa_i_dil. Thanks brother for sharing useful information regarding the topic

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

islam transcends all geograhy....

Re: The Evil of Men's Immoral GAZE & DEEDS

^ most of us choose to live in a mixed society rarely are we forced to do it ....so what u r saying mamof3 really is not an excuse