dunno if my title pertains to my query, but here it goes.
so, two of my cousins are pregant and one is due in january and another (her sister coincidently) is due in april some time (yaaay! ) and so i was talking to my cousin who is like 3 years younger than me or something, still in metric. my khala and uncle and her sister were out shopping, and she was home alone…well i think she was, anyways. and she was telling me the latest happening back home, including the two cousins. and so i ask, well, do you know if they know if it is going to be a boy or a girl? and she replies well, you know, it’s not like they tell me this stuff (or something along those lines) and that i’m not supposed to know this stuff. and i go, oh, so you dont know. but she’s my cuz, she’s sneaky, but she told me that they ha ve had an ultrasound, but they are not saying anything, so her mum (my khala) thinks it is a boy. and then when she told me about the 2nd cousin’s expectancy, i dont know why i asked this, i asked if you could tell. (because her’s is totally unexpected…the last i heard she didn’t want to have any more kids after my 2 lovely nieces) and i got the sense she was telling me slyly that no it was too early to tell exactly…
but anyways, my point is…why the whole embarrasment over it? dude..its not like u can’t tell after a while. why hide this stuff, like the gender and ultrasound and stuff?
It's not embaressment..it's just the rite to keep the sex of the baby a secret..it's every parents right...I wouldn't tell either..let everyone go mad guessing ..let it be a surprise.
Even when you knwo you;re pregnant you may want to feel that a secret until you've past the first few crucial months of pregnancy...coz God forbid something happens then everyone loves to point fingers atthe lady and say she's "barren" and "unfruitful" and what not.`
Ditto.
I guess I wouldn't mind telling my husband and my amma, but no one else. I think it's so cute when the doctor/nurses come out and say "it's a girl/it's a boy"...just makes me laugh. I guess it should be our little secret.
well yea i get what u mean…but that’s not what i meant (im such a dits ) i mean why keep such a thing (pregnancy) such a hush hush thing from like a 16 year old girl. i mean the whole freakin family knows, and everyone knows that whatever goes in the family, my lil cousin is sure to know. (i told my mum and she told me other aunt…no secret there anymore). it’s not like it will remain a huge secret anymore. and i mean, is being pregnant such an embarrasment that u have to keep it a secret from unmarried girls, who by the way, have seen a pregnant women many times?
ha , this reminds me of a thread someone else opened…i forgot exactly what happened, but the guy in question was 19 or 20 years old, around there, and his bro’s wife who lived in teh same house as him, was pregnant, and he didnt’ know or notice the pregnancy until the baby was born
Funny you mentioned that cuz there was a woman where i used to work and she too was pregnant but for the longest time more than half the floor thought she was just plain fat lol
Anyway i think it would be funny if the ultrasound reports say its a boy and after delivery the nurse/doctor runs out of the room yelling its a girl !!!
well she was a coworker..that’s a bit different than being a brother-in-law and sharing the SAME HOUSE..loL
and yeah, sometimes pregnant women can look fat…it depends on what they’re waering and if anything else enlarges along with their stomach..i look at pix of my mom when she was pregnant with me and she wore this freakin tent that made her look 200 lbs
LOL! Well my cozin is like model thin (all of em are except me) and when she was preggie no one even knew...just looked like her tummy was extra full :D
I'm due in April and had the ultrasound. When I told family that this baby #2 is also a girl, according to the technician, they all said, "Oh that's ok, as long as it's a healthy baby." Like, I wasn't asking for consolation. I'm actually happy that our daughter will have a sister and we don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe for the baby.
But now it's like people are in denial. Someone has a dream that they translate to mean ...a baby boy is coming. And they say that it's not 100% fact of gender according to the ultrasound. Anyways, it seems like everyone had their minds set to me having a boy as soon as I told them I was expecting and they can't accept that it's not. I almost feel like I dissapointed everyone. Gender is such a huge issue. I think especially in our community, everyone wants boys and girls are undervalued. A new mother should just be happy and not feel guilty for not producing a boy.
my cousin's wife had two kids in an eighteen month span...three months after marriage, she got pregnant and had a daughter. less than a year later, she was pregnant again and everyone was praying for a son, absolutely praying and begging. when we got the phone call in july saying she'd given brth to a boy, there were tears of relief. when we went to pak the next year, they had this huge birthday party for him, with presents and stuff. it was nice, but they didnt' d that much for his big sister.
but now, he's such a lil brat....he's so ziddi...nobody knws where he gets it from...everyone's scared about what will become of him when he's older...both his parents were good quiet kids....he's so much trouble...i feel sorry for his parents now...i guess i dunno in a way since everyone begged for a son so much, they got one and he's so much to handle
I can't understand why desis start to pray for a bo soon as a woman in the family gets pregnant. I am so sick of this ....."allah puter dey."
I love baby girls.... I mean I just love them and want one myself. I just don't find baby boys cute. I don't know if it's just me who doesn't find boys cute. I am due earlier in June and can't wait for the ultrasound.
P.S. If it happened to be a boy, I would still love him.
this boy/girl issue is so pathetic.. even in parhay likhay gharanay.. no matter how they say kay 'It doesnt matter as long as its a healthy baby' .. they always hav this 'O larki huwee hay? larka hota to acha hota na' .. i mean daym ...it seems like people keep forgettin the lesson Islam been preachin us.. kay "larkiyan Allah ki rehmat hoti hayn" ... its like zamana agay barh gaya hay liken their thinkin is still stuck to pre-historic times .... situation just completely disgust me sumtimes.
Besides... larkiyan are so easy and its always fun to dress em up ;-)
Sara, it sounds like that little boy got spoiled. Everyone accuses me of spoiling my daughter too, but I really believe in discipline and manners. She's never left my side. She slept in my bed and I nursed her for 2 years. I never let her cry at night or have a bottle or pacifier. Everyone told me she would become so dependent and so spoiled. But she is just a very happy and smart girl.
I don't know if I would do anything different if I had a boy. All kids go through the tantrum stage from around 16months to 3 years old. Some kids can be real brats at this age. I think parents in our culture view boys to be an investment because they'll grow up to care for aging parents. But girls will leave and go to another home. This is very old fashioned thinking and not true for every family these days.
Yeah he is definitely spoiled. If he wants something, he’ll do anything he can. One time, it was his big sister’s birthday. He wanted to cut the cake, and everybody tried to explain to him nicely and calmly that he couldn’t because it was her birthday and not his. But he wouldn’t listen. He started crying and screaming and was even grabbing the knife from people. When we ignored him and went ahead and cut it, he started kicking the cake and stuff and ruined it. Bechaari it was her 6th birthday. I would expect this behavior from a 2-year-old, but not a 6 year old boy. I think in psychology they say that your entire personality is developed when you’re 5 years old and if this is his entire personality, I’m very worried for him and his family.
PS: I’m glad there’s at least one desi parent who believes in manners and discipline. Too many parents nowadays spoil their kids and don’t teach them any tameez.
) and so i was talking to my cousin who is like 3 years younger than me or something, still in metric. my khala and uncle and her sister were out shopping, and she was home alone…well i think she was, anyways. and she was telling me the latest happening back home, including the two cousins. and so i ask, well, do you know if they know if it is going to be a boy or a girl? and she replies well, you know, it’s not like they tell me this stuff (or something along those lines) and that i’m not supposed to know this stuff. and i go, oh, so you dont know. but she’s my cuz, she’s sneaky, but she told me that they ha ve had an ultrasound, but they are not saying anything, so her mum (my khala) thinks it is a boy. and then when she told me about the 2nd cousin’s expectancy, i dont know why i asked this, i asked if you could tell. (because her’s is totally unexpected…the last i heard she didn’t want to have any more kids after my 2 lovely nieces) and i got the sense she was telling me slyly that no it was too early to tell exactly…
) i mean why keep such a thing (pregnancy) such a hush hush thing from like a 16 year old girl. i mean the whole freakin family knows, and everyone knows that whatever goes in the family, my lil cousin is sure to know. (i told my mum and she told me other aunt…no secret there anymore). it’s not like it will remain a huge secret anymore. and i mean, is being pregnant such an embarrasment that u have to keep it a secret from unmarried girls, who by the way, have seen a pregnant women many times?
lol