divorce/separation is getting too common maybe because the lack of patience among this generation.
i havent found any thread on gs where people who have been divorced or separated for any reason may be have shared their story
do they now think that it was a mistake or a jazbati faisla or a right time to move on
how they world or mainly the family reacted or participated in that
have they moved on in life in better conditions
difficulties were more before or after
they should share their experience with others so people who are thinking of it refrain or go ahead
Please its not like im being pessimist but its just to give an insight to other ppl the life after separation
i appreciate receiving some serious posts on this topic
I believe until now women sacrificed everything to maintain their marriages even if it meant living in an abusive relationship, the men simply carried on without much consideration for their SO. Now, however we're all equally educated and raised to be independent and I suppose men need to step up their game.
I don't think any two people are ever perfectly in sync with each other and they both need to be compromising and understanding to make it work. If you can put up with your parents and your siblings then why not your partner? The only thing that scares me about marriage is divorce since it's so bloody common now.
i havent found any thread on gs where people who have been divorced or separated for any reason may be have shared their story
probably because of...
divorce/separation is getting too common maybe because the lack of patience among this generation.
and there u have ur answer...why would anyone publicly share their story here only to have strangers bash and judge them for their actions?
and other people telling their story isn't going to work. no two situations are alike and even if they were, if one person CAN put up with things that make them totally unhappy, does it automatically mean that I should I have to put up with it too? Life isn't a contest to see who can stay married the longest.
My family was shocked at first because they didnt know the extent of what was happening. But then, they reacted fast by getting me out quickly. It was a very destructive and nasty situation…with no real hope of improving.
I have moved on to a better life, Alhumdulillah. I have no regrets because even though I am divorced, there were lessons I learned and I am sure Allah swt has his own plan. I think each experience - bad or good - is one that is sent to us from Allah swt and has a lesson in it somewhere.
Difficulties were definitely more before the divorce. My life since then has been peaceful…no fighting, arguing, struggle or negativity. I am very happy now…I live with my parents, work, help them, working on improving myself, am active and headed somewhere…Inshallah. Before, it really felt like I was living in some underground tunnel…now I feel like I can breathe. People describe me as a genuinely happy person.
I have come across a lot who expect me to be a certain way though…surprisingly. They expect you to be falling apart, miserable and traumatized with a vacant look in your eyes. And when they dont see that, it looks like it bothers them…again surprisingly. They will fish, hunt and constantly look for weaknesses that will help them say “bichari, dekho kya hogaya”. They will ask my mom questions and try to sympathize with her…like she is suffering for her daughters… All we do is ignore ignore ignore. I am a firm believer in “Allah swt doesnt give you more than you can handle”.
and there u have ur answer...why would anyone publicly share their story here only to have strangers bash and judge them for their actions?
and other people telling their story isn't going to work. no two situations are alike and even if they were, if one person CAN put up with things that make them totally unhappy, does it automatically mean that I should I have to put up with it too? Life isn't a contest to see who can stay married the longest.
Reha love you yar atleast you have guts to share i can understand how much painful this ignore thing would be but i love ur spirit inshAllah Allah will take you along a happy path
'divorce/separation is getting too common maybe because the lack of patience among this generation.' Do u mean amongst desis? I've yet to meet a Pakistani couple who divorced over a minor reason.. Seems it's usually abuse of some sort..
^^^i think south asians in general keep at a marriage and would do anything and everything to make it work unfortunately in some cases it's one-sided or the other person might always be one that blames the other no matter what so they never realize they have faults as well and it's only the other person that tries to improve or better themselves for the sake of the marriage. but you're right it would take something major like abuse and/or infidelity(even that sometimes is overlooked by some) for the big D word to be even thought of or followed through with.
my elder cousin's husband had an affair immediately after they got married(arranged marriage) but she loved him a lot so she overlooked the affair so even in case of infidelity some people forgive. she came from a small village and didn't have a job or much support from her parents so she took that route of overlooking.
like Sara said it depends on the situation or how much abuse/pain a person is willing to take. most of the time, in case of abuse the abuser never sees that they have a problem or they need to make a big change in themselves, so it ends up being a cycle of violence or pain, divorce/separation would give some peace away from being caged in such a situation for some
I dont wana open a new thread, because my question is similiar. Those of you who r divorced, do u think things wud be different if u had kids ? anyone here divorced with kids ?
I dont wana open a new thread, because my question is similiar. Those of you who r divorced, do u think things wud be different if u had kids ? anyone here divorced with kids ?
I am a single mom and I am very happy single mom alhamdolillah. I don't regret what has happened. I have & had my family's support but their support started only after I nearly died before that I was being pushed and pushed into the situation again and again. I am not dependent on my family I do things in my life for me and child my self alhamdolillah not that they dont want to support me it's just that I don't want to burden myself and my girl on anyone. I totally love the life I have right now. It feels very good to live and treated like a human being.
I am a single mom and I am very happy single mom alhamdolillah. I don't regret what has happened. I have & had my family's support but their support started only after I nearly died before that I was being pushed and pushed into the situation again and again. I am not dependent on my family I do things in my life for me and child my self alhamdolillah not that they dont want to support me it's just that I don't want to burden myself and my girl on anyone. I totally love the life I have right now. It feels very good to live and treated like a human being.
Am happy for you :).
Sounds like u work full time, who takes care of ur girl when u rnt around, how old is she ?
yes I work full time but it's just not only the financial aspect that matters raising a kid on your own is not easy esp when your kid is sick. I have the hardest time when she is sick taking off from work going home picking her up going to hospital it's very hard but manageable. The next difficult thing would be now her schooling. But like I said it's manageable you just have to use too much of your energy , time & brain.
i dnt understand the point that couples are made in heaven. if a couple has to end some day then y it was been made on the first place and then they end and move on with some other person Jub Allah ne kismat me shadi ka tootna likha hota hy tou wo un joron ko milata kiun hy??
i dnt understand the point that couples are made in heaven. if a couple has to end some day then y it was been made on the first place and then they end and move on with some other person Jub Allah ne kismat me shadi ka tootna likha hota hy tou wo un joron ko milata kiun hy??
Juri milata Allah hay toraty uskay banday hain. Jori tootnay main Allah ka koi dakhal nahi hota.
I can write an scholarly article about this but there is no need to do so.
yes I work full time but it's just not only the financial aspect that matters raising a kid on your own is not easy esp when your kid is sick. I have the hardest time when she is sick taking off from work going home picking her up going to hospital it's very hard but manageable. The next difficult thing would be now her schooling. But like I said it's manageable you just have to use too much of your energy , time & brain.
how old is ur kid, i mean am sure she needs time even when she isnt sick.
All we do is ignore ignore ignore. I am a firm believer in “Allah swt doesnt give you more than you can handle”.