dont u just hate it?
i got invited to a milaad by this family that i KNOW talks about me behind my back and have bad-mouthed both me and my mom for no apparent reason…as far as i know…they bad-mouth everyone! And i actually will feel guilty if i dont go!!!
I have a cousin who’s side i have always taken no matter what and I have always been a good friend to her and I discovered she has been bad-mouthing my mother and spilling some of my secrets to others. Also I doubt if she tells me her own secrets… but im still stupid enough to go to her house when she invites me, lend her money, console her when she has a bad day at work blah blah blah.
Sometimes i think im being stupid but maybe khandaan politics is something im slowly becoming used to …even though i dont want to.
Re: the dirty politics of khandan.....
don't worry your not stupid....you just have a good heart. Just pray to Allah to give you patience and you should probably just keep your distance from them...
Re: the dirty politics of khandan.....
These things go on in every khandaan whether desi or non-desi(have you seen Wedding Crashers? :D ). Just avoid the bad ones and stay in touch with the good ones. There is no point in agonizing over the back biters. More often than not, they are miserable wretches with miserable lives and like to drag others down with them.
Re: the dirty politics of khandan.....
I even confronted my cousin about this but she refused straight out.......im devastated and i wish i had listened to my mom who told me never to share secrets with anyone other than your own parents or sisters.
Re: the dirty politics of khandan.....
treat idiots like idiots, kameenay ppl take advantage of useless formalities and sharma hazoori of our culture.
such low level ppl are found everywhere and they think they can operate like ninjas without being caught.
Call them out...do it in public, make them know that their game is up, and see them behave or see them go pick another target.
Re: the dirty politics of khandan.....
Everyone has a story to tell about khandan politics. Theres always a few, low-self esteemed, jealous people that need to put others down to downplay their own short comings and unhappiness in life. In short, they are losers.
You've overcome the first hurdle by discovering your cousin's true ugly side. Now what you have to do is AVOID her.
I'm not so much in favour of blowing the whole thing public as things can get a lot dirtier and you may not be able to handle it so well. In fact you may come off worse as these people are quite nasty and excell in this field. However, if you can prove it, I say you should confront her about it and make your feelings known to her if you have the confidence to do so. Then, avoid her. From thereon she will know she got busted and why shes being avoided.
Re: the dirty politics of khandan.....
When you are family you stay together. People hate each other in family, that's just the way it goes everywhere....sometimes anamosities are between brothers, sisters to brother-father etc. That's life you work things out...just another necessary evil.