Re: the dilemmas with arranging weddings
Originally posted by sadzzz: *
**curious to know, how do people living away from pakistan arrange the weddings?*
by arrange do your mean finding a match or the logistics of the reception etc?
*our dilemma is that, well firstly we (or my bro) doesnt want to have a huge wedding. He pretty much wants to just have the nikkah and have a combined reception/walima sorta thing. *
Thats a good idea but it has its drawbacks which I will explain in a minute.
but his fiances family wants to do the whole hoo haa thing so that everyone knows about it kinda thing... like they drop hints all the time bout how expensive the suit should be for the bride and where the reception should be and so on..
Now for the problem, if indeed you do a combined event, you can get screwed over royally. how..okay here is the the numbers, when i speak like this it tends to make people say that I am materialistic and what nots, which may be the case, but I just present numbers, you can draw your own conclusions.
lets say you want to do a reception where you want to spend no more than $20/person for food and facility. and lets say they want to spend more, lets say $50/person. How do you manage that, you asking them to hold the reception at a location and at a level which fits your situation/budget/needs/views may make them feel like they are being prevented from doing all that they want to do. conversely, if they start pressuring you guys to spend more than you were planning to, then you are not happy either.
solution is simple, let them do all that theywant, for all you care they can have kabuki dancers at the wedding and everyone who is attending gets a rolex, that is their business.
You can do what you want, how you want and where you want for your reception.
how do u cope with all this? how do u come to some sort of agreement? especially when people back home think that $1 = 1 ruppee?
*anyone else been thru this? *
Not personally, but I do know of one case where the guy and girls family decided to have a joint reception, the girls side were your typical show off-ish idiots and considered the guy's side as their piggy bank since the 2 sides had decided to split the bill. the guy's side had not counted on splitting the bill for ice sculptures, open bar, the expensive and extensive menu, hotels for dulhan's fifty million relatives, but in the typical shrama-hazoori it was too late and they could not go back on the deal to split the bill.
In the end, they got screwed royally, the wedding was phenomenal, but if the dulhans side were planning to spend $50K, they spent a $100K instead saying that it was afair split, but it was not what the groom's parents wanted, plus they had 1/4th the number of guests, so their per head cost was much higher than the bride's side paid.
and if these ppl are byatching and moaning about show-sha, is thatthe type of family yer bro wants to wed into?
(we bought it at Macy’s and everything was brand name)
)