In my family, the tradition is that the girl is delivered back to her parent’s home the very next day. Usually being on the guy’s side of the family in family weddings, I HATED that tradition. I remember when my uncle got married, I headed over to their house - all excited to have breakfast with the new family member. She was wrapped up in decorative clothes and sent back to her parent’s house immediately after breakfast. Such a disappointment. I didn’t get to know her until a few weeks later.
Do you guys have this tradition in your family? I really don’t understand it. The first day of their marriage, and the girl spends it at her parents home away from her husband. It makes no sense.
yes....yeh to subki haan hota hai :D
i think larki walon keh haan se nashta aata hai...n the dulhan gets all tayyar...n goes to her parents house for the day :D ...
i think its pretyy cool :D ....
saare log jamah hote hein na larki keh ghar per...to u can tell em all about the guyz family...or the ghar...ya dulha...ya so many other things :D...
yeah we have it in our family too.. its called the "maklava" or something... the girl is sent back to parents house for the day after the couple have had breakfast (which i think is brought by the girls fam... hmm)
or maklava is the part they bring the girl back... no idea
so, wait, let me get this straight. The typical Pakistani wedding ends at 1 am. (That's early, but lets suppose). The groom gets home with his wife by 1:30 am. Then there is cake-cutting, and picture-taking, and nosy relatives to chase away. By the time, everyone is chased out of the house - its 3 am. Breakfast is served at 8 am. That gives him what...5 hours to get to know his wife? And consider that its an arranged marriage. 5 hours to talk and then go to sleep. And then he can't get in a word edgewise during breakfast, because those same nosy relatives show up again. And then she's taken away. Comes back at night. What the hell?
That's not even treating her with any dignity. She's just allowed to be with him at night. What a wonderful culture. So keen on helping a girl adjust to her new environment. So KEEN.
lol 1 am…PCG…aaj kal weddings start 10-11 baje tak …end by 2 …ghar pohnche 3…kaam waam khatam hone tak chaaar…n the rest of the time dulha dulhan talk …i dun think they actually sleep …cause 7 - 8 baje tak to dulhan ko tayyar bhi ho jana hota hai ..
i guess this tradition should be broken by the dhulla by not letting his wife go back home
is sensible though; girl’s family is all sad and emotional due to her leaving and it probably isn’t a good enough good bye to just see her leaving with the dhulla in a limo or other car at the end of the wedding;
the girl also wants a little more time with her parents or family, she’s got the rest of her life to serve her husband
let the tradition live man.. it would be the death of valima if it didnt... waise bhi.. poori zindagi pari hai batein kernay ke liye.. to get to know each other .... let the god damn tradition live man
yup have it :-) just seen it in practice.. considering groom was my friend and khatoon, my cousin.. it was kinda hillarious..
ONLY thing different we've started doing since last.. errrrrmm.. 15 years is that SOME folks from girl's side go to 'pickup' the girl and bring her back.. groom's side can come over for the 'dophair ka khana' if they want.. (usually get dragged anyway) :-)
i think its nice.
a girls not thrown into a new environment straight away, she goes home ( usually brother or someone comes to get her) then the evening or following morning (dupair) her husband comes for her and they all sit for a meal.
how nice, in the tradition of giving a daughter away its nice to see they get to see her the next day!
Yes, it gives them about that much time. And sweet PCG, they don’t just TALK for 5 hours, aur bhi kaam hain duniya mein baaton k siwa
We have it in our family and I hate that tradition too I wouldn’t let my wife go back ever and even if she did, I will go with her We won’t be able to stay apart
That's not even treating her with any dignity. She's just allowed to be with him at night. What a wonderful culture. So keen on helping a girl adjust to her new environment. So KEEN.
Gah.
[/QUOTE]
That's not even treating him with any dignity. He's just allowed to be with her at night. What a wonderful culture. So keen on helping a guy adjust to his new environment (wife). So KEEN.
heres the stupidest marriage ritual imo. some lady (not the mother) from the larki walay has to accompany the girl to the larka's place, spend the night there, and come back with the girl.
in our family we girls go to their parents home 2-3 days before the makhlawa. On the makhlawa her inlaws come and pick her up, this event also marks the end of the wedding ceremonies...
Makhlawas are held within a month of the rukhsatti i think...
but some families from my fathers side do have the tradition that u mentioned....
I didnt leave my husband after the marriage for a single day, right after the marriage, we went to my parents but together and came back after having some chai or sometimes even lunch/dinner ,
That's not even treating him with any dignity. He's just allowed to be with her at night. What a wonderful culture. So keen on helping a guy adjust to his new environment (wife). So KEEN.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by PyariCgudia: *
In my family, the tradition is that the girl is delivered back to her parent's home the very next day. Usually being on the guy's side of the family in family weddings, I HATED that tradition. I remember when my uncle got married, I headed over to their house - all excited to have breakfast with the new family member. She was wrapped up in decorative clothes and sent back to her parent's house immediately after breakfast. Such a disappointment. I didn't get to know her until a few weeks later.
Do you guys have this tradition in your family? I really don't understand it. The first day of their marriage, and the girl spends it at her parents home away from her husband. It makes no sense.
[/QUOTE]
Its called "Sattawro" in Sindh. A slightly improved version of what you said, here groom also accompanies the bride to stay 7 days/nights at the bride's ancestral home. Rationale behind is to know and learn how the girl had been living her life prior to her marriage. :-)
…end by 2 …ghar pohnche 3…kaam waam khatam hone tak chaaar…n the rest of the time dulha dulhan talk 
..
I wouldn’t let my wife go back ever and even if she did, I will go with her 
We won’t be able to stay apart 
