If one is jealous of someone, then he should do the following:
Precede him in making salaam
Meet him before going on a journey
Upon returning from a journey, bring him some gift even though it is small in value.
Praise him in you gatherings.
Occasionally invite him for a meal.
Make abundant dua’a for him.
If anyone speaks ill of him, stop them strictly. Tell them thatit is Haraam (prohibited) to backbite as well as to listen to it.
By practicing on these guidelines for a few days Inshallah, this sickness will be cured. Instead of burning within yourself due to jealousy, you will attain love for him and the heart will become light like a rose. It will be free and full of tranquility for Allah Ta’ala’s remembrance and worship.
Not necessarily. You might envy someone but that doesn't mean you harbour any ill feelings towards them.
Jealousy and envy are two different things. When you are not happy with what others have, and want that they don't left with anything (like money, beauty, good education, good reputation) and want that they get harm in any manner, it is called jealousy. On the other hand, when you envy someone, you are happy with what others have and make them your role model, which encouraged you to work hard and to be like them.
Stayyabali's guidelines are for those who are suffering from jealousy. When a person is jealous of someone, it means he/ she has ill feelings towards them and its very difficult for them to follow these guidelines. If there are no ill feelings, it is NOT jealousy. Its envy which is healthy for that person and is not considered something bad in Islam like jealousy.
Jealousy and envy are two different things. When you are not happy with what others have, and want that they don't left with anything (like money, beauty, good education, good reputation) and want that they get harm in any manner, it is called jealousy. On the other hand, when you envy someone, you are happy with what others have and make them your role model, which encouraged you to work hard and to be like them.
Stayyabali's guidelines are for those who are suffering from jealousy. When a person is jealous of someone, it means he/ she has ill feelings towards them and its very difficult for them to follow these guidelines. If there are no ill feelings, it is NOT jealousy. Its envy which is healthy for that person and is not considered something bad in Islam like jealousy.
It's also possible for one to be jealous of someone else but feel ashamed about being jealous. Especially when the person one feels jealous of has not done anything deserving malice. Especially when the one feeling jealous knows that these sorts of feelings are morally/Islamically wrong. Speaking from personal experience, you* can* be jealous of someone and secretly (ashamedly) wish them some sort of harm and at the same time want to rid your thoughts of malicious intentions.
Stayyabali's guidelines might be difficult to follow but not impossible for someone who wants to do the right thing.
Stayyabali's guidelines might be difficult to follow but not impossible for someone who wants to do the right thing.
The guidelines then must be useful for patients with lesser degree of jealousy with some good left in their hearts (feeling of shame and the knowledge that their jealousy is morally/ Islamically wrong).
The guidelines then must be useful for patients with lesser degree of jealousy with some good left in their hearts (feeling of shame and the knowledge that their jealousy is morally/ Islamically wrong).
You're right. These guidelines are more useful for people who haven't had their jealousy consume their hearts.
I admit I have been jealous of people in the past, in particular I have been jealous of girls who are very beautiful naturally. I have middle eastern friends who on their ugly days look like models, and sometimes I used to think why cant i be a middle eastern girl etc etc.
Then I started doing dua for these girls that Allah keep them looking beautiful and was thanked Allah for my unique looks and happy and the jealousy completely got erased from my heart and for a long while I have never felt like that.
I think dua definitely does work but the other things are very difficult to follow.
^ Yes I guess the key is to thank Allah for whatever He has given us. If we look for people better than us, we will never be happy since we will always find people better than us one way or the other. Its Allah SWT's will what He has given to us and to others. Once we know how precious is everything we already have, we will stop being jealous of others. Losing just a small part of things we alredy have can help us learn a lesson and we start thanking Allah for everything He has given us. Just a small cut in a finger leaves it useless for few days and this leaves me thinking how we take things in life for granted.
Also if someone is better than us in looks, education, money; we should think that we are better off than many others in many other ways. So thank Allah for whatever we have.
Jazak-ALLAH stayyabali. It makes you think why you are jealous in the first place - mostly insecurities within ourselves, and until we don't get over that, we will never be able to get over our jealousy.