You’ll forget your English by the time you finish reading
this.
This is a true essay written by a Bihari(Indian State)
candidate at the recent UPSC(IAS) Examinations. The candidate has written an
essay on the Indian cow:
HE IS THE COW. The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4
footed, And because he is female, he give milks, but will do so when
he is got child.] He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to
man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are
afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use.More so the milk. Milk
comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. horses dont have any such
attachment. What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and
mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species.
Also his other motion..gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for
making flat cakes [like Pizza], in hand, and drying in the sun. Cow is the
only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she
chew with
his
teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly
in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending
organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by
knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the
ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.He
has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals.
It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten
away which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.The
palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he
shouts. His eyes and nose are like his other relatives.This is the cow…
Surprisingly, the candidate passed the exam! Now, you can
judge that how capable the Indian executive command is…!
And you thought there didnt exist a “missing link”!?