Re: The choice of word! Your mother-tongue, your culture VS your approval of diction!
Right!
Yup… I have never learnt urdu… as we speak punjabi at home… dutch at uni, and a mixture of english, dutch and punjabi with my siblings. But I have always loved urdu.. so I taught myself by getting books from the library, reading urdu newspapers, watching urdu programs etc etc. And now I guess.. my urdu isn’t that bad.. I can understand most things… and would love to reduce my knowledge of urdu if I would ever get the chance to do so 
As Anwaar ji already said, environment bhi koi cheez hoti hai… My bro doesn’t even know a word of punjabi which is our mother tongue, leave alone urdu… Nor is he interested in it… (Well, he speaks a lil bit punjabi, but his pronounciation makes it sound like chinese) And how much we try to get him talk urdu or punjabi.. He only speaks dutch, dutch and dutch…