;-)
[This message has been edited by juMurA (edited August 22, 2001).]
To find out you need “understanding”, trust and honesty, if these factor are integrated in your relationship, then you have your answer to it. Been married you should know about it or…(assuming assuming assuming
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“kaisay na karta usko main pyar, uski haseen main sukh thay hazaar, bichar gayay hum dukh ki hay baat”
You can find out in your first night with your partner whether he or shi is virgin or not. Ali-R says she was virgin but she does not know whether her husband was virgin or not. This statement itself indicate that she was not virgin as she knows exactly love game
Mene to kuch nahi kaha
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“kaisay na karta usko main pyar, uski haseen main sukh thay hazaar, bichar gayay hum dukh ki hay baat”
honestali are u ok. Poor Ali_R
Pristine people make mistakes in joosh n jazba
[quote]
Originally posted by Changez_like:
**
why such hypocricy is seen in women? isn't women responsible to 'neglect', 'reject' women here?
**
[/quote]
Of course women are responsible....to a large degree. That's what I have been saying....we need to change this mindset. Young adults need to make it clear to their parents that they will not be "coerced" into making decisions that suit their mother/father.
This also means that the young adults need to wisen up and have well-adjusted ethics themselves.
Pristine yaar mene to bohaat kushish ki doob marrne ki, doob to giya par marr nahi saka…baqi jo Allah ko manzoor
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Oye you wanna get rid off me i know me tume tang karta retha hon na via PM…thats why!
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“kaisay na karta usko main pyar, uski haseen main sukh thay hazaar, bichar gayay hum dukh ki hay baat”
[quote]
Originally posted by 714:
**for a second it hought you meant premarital. honestly- i would prefer a virgin when i get married, just cuz, BUT i am not against the whole divorced, etc thing. no there isn't anything wrong with "used" people. i say good for you. i might be wrong, but as far as i know most of the prophet (s) wives were not virgins-not even his beloved kadija.
salaamz
**
[/quote]
Agree to u
This is a very interesting and thought provoking topic and contains very educating responses from the participants.
Pristine’s point of view that "whatever rocks your boat" and his subsequent views are convincing. He seems to be acquainted with the topic.
Ahmed Jee’s definition of virginity is ununderstandable as obviously virginity must be the part and parcel of naik and parhaizgar people but a virgin can not always is taken for naik and parhaizgar. These two phrases can’t be confused together.
Looks can kill’s question: "WILL YOU MARRY A 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN?" seems to be answered already by pristine and that is “whatever rocks your boat”J my answer to it is “Why Not?” especially if you are 50J
Sugar and spice’s observation: “if the women’s not a virgin the man does not respect and trust her” is supported. Of course if the husband comes to know later on that his spouse has already been through this, it must make him stay away from indulging in a romantic relationship. The relationship then restricts to bed alone.
Honestali:
“What is virginity any way? Just having sex with opposite side.
Now a day in this modern world to fulfill any ones desire you don't need opposite partner.
In short there is no such a thing called Virginity and absolutely not in our Islamic community where we prefer to get married within family”
Well in its literal meaning the virginity is state of a person who has never had sex.
However, in a classical approach it might include the romantic attachments as well but that would be too conservative. It would have been better if she had explained what does she mean that in today’s world one doesn’t need a partner from opposite sex! Well I think one does and if not then perhaps one never needed in the past as well! Her last statement again beats me. She seems to be disoriented from the topic.
Coming back to the topic itself I would say that if certain people do not prefer to marry a used person, it might be because that person’s worth to be made a life partner has already been tested and she has failed already so the fear of trying already tried might be the obstacle!
By the way there seems to be something wrong with the person who broke off already.