Plenty of hubbies out there who are haan ji at home and alpha males with their buddies. I'm talking about those subset of men.
I'm sure the converse exists as well. As is obvious by annoyed married women.
is it supposed to be other way around or all the same? im confused
My dad's like that with Ammi- when Ammi's not feeling well or is tired, which has been going on for the past year or so, Abbu will cook roti for her, make sure we all eat includes coming to everyone's door with the bailna in hand, we're spoiled load dishwasher, laundry and be the house massi on weekends. I love their relationship mA =)
On the other hand, I think its very normal for guys AND girls to behave differently around friends vs family, no? I know I do it!
Why is it hard for guys to admit they behave this way at home with their friends? Why put up a facade that you're some macho tough guy who has everyone under his thumb?
People learn from that kind of behavior and it perpetuates...jerks.
Re: The Big Boys Club
Its the backward belief that somehow being ‘macho’ and being the ‘man in the house’ and not admitting things they do at home is somehow ‘manly’. Which is sad enough. 
Plenty of hubbies out there who are haan ji at home and alpha males with their buddies. I'm talking about those subset of men.
I'm sure the converse exists as well. As is obvious by annoyed married women.
I say that's a good mix, as long as they are not assholes with their friends and to other women.
You want a guy who is high in social dominance and treats you as his equal, or better ;).
Re: The Big Boys Club
The way I act with my male friends is my way of relaxing. Around family I have to be respectful. Amongst my guy friends I don't need to be. That includes, cursing, belching, farting and god knows what else.
It also includes make comments regarding the hotties around us.
Around family its respect. Around guys its just being a guy
One thing I have noticed that Girls wear casual cloths (jeans etc) when going on job/college and talk all A-Z slangs but have solha-singhar on with 5kg dress and talking sweet “jee anuty ji.. assalam wa alikum kia haal hain” when going to desi wedding/parties… I wonder why?
i wonder how many married guys pcg knows here on GS, or how many she interviewed to come to this conclusion?
i know lots of married guppies and its not as described above, they are nice educated well mannered mature couples and i don't think they act different when at home to when they're with there buddies.
With the Ladies at Home: Cooks for them, cleans for them, haan ji, acha ji, jo aap kahe ji, oh ok I'll take out the trash for you, Yes dear, of course dear, kis ne meri beti ko aankh utaa ke dekha???, ok anything for you ladies, you want me to wear pink yeah sure of course!
Sometimes I think guys can't win for trying.
Now girls let's be honest, when you're meeting a guy or dating him, while you may want him to demonstrate thoughtfulness and consideration, you don't go into a relationship hoping for a hen-pecked husband - that might come later.
Most girls want an alpha male, a guy with presence, someone who stands out in a crowd. Most betas get overlooked for being too nice or passive.
And why is it a problem for a guy to be macho amongst his friends - so long as he is being himself. Do you want him to discuss the best diaper rash cream or knitting patterns? Is that a turn on?
Boys will be boys and will talk about whatever they want and will talk in a manner that they're comfortable with.
Reminds me of a guy I met. He cussed like a sailor and while I may swear, I limit it to in my head. I didn't care what he did when he was with his friends - my only requirement was that he show me the same consideration he showed his mum and bhabhi and curb his swearing in my presence.
Insaan ko mauqa mahal dekh kai baat karna chahiyey.
Re: The Big Boys Club
The problem is the cussing alpha male is an example for your younger brother, your son, your baby cousin all of whom may never learn that you don't carry that behavior home.
You guys don't see the broad overreaching effects of conditioning men into alpha-males without curbing their behavior?
Being confident is cool. Being positive and nice to women is also cool.
Pakistani men are raised to be macho but just go interact with some of the fassadi men around here and you quickly learn that they are only good to family. They treat other women abusively, because they think it's ok to throw around your ego out there. It's moronic at the end of the day.
We are training the wrong kind of alpha male and it is precisely this alpha male failing in the world. Look around you. Pakistan is sinking into further darker ages. You think real alpha men are present in Pakistan?
Doubtful.
Re: The Big Boys Club
Men are men. You can't change that. Every young boy you meet, be it your brother, cousin, nephew will turn into me, Jimmy and Jaanwar. The only thing that changes is how well they will hide it.
Some will even grow up to be Uzziel!
What???
Cooking? Rarely. Cleaning? I vacuum the house and take out the trash/recycling after it’s all been gathered. That, and I try to keep the space I use for my work/amusement clean, that’s about it. I’m officially banned from washing dishes, ironing though I occasionally do some laundry.
Of course I’m going to behave differently when I’m with my friends and when I’m with my family.
That being said, do you think it’s just the men who behave one way when it’s just them with their friends and differently when they’re with the spouse, kids, parents etc?
Plenty of hubbies out there who are haan ji at home and alpha males with their buddies. I'm talking about those subset of men.
I'm sure the converse exists as well. As is obvious by annoyed married women.
Why generalize a 'subset of men' to 'guys'?
As you said, there would be converse, there would be alpha males in both situations and there would be 'haan ji' people in both situations.
hallelujah!!!
You know reading those comments PCG88% meenaz 10%, Munza2%, I start to believe we are use less creature. With only one thing on mind, “how to hurt women”
Till my sister calls and talk for like an hr. 
then I am like yeah.. I am not such an animal after all.
Even some time she goes on and on and say things like “you idiots(brothers) did not know how you raise me, a girl” “you treated me like a boy” etc etc
I mean come on!!!
you were older then me!!!
I was mostly executing your plans as your support group, even when we torture little animals 
Now I get to take the blame ??
who pissed you off PCG?
I wonder how you get to observe these behaviors? 
Re: The Big Boys Club
yea but when a wife is with her friends then they all sit their gossiping/dissing their husbands and how little time they spend with them or the lack of money they spend on them.
when people hang out with their friends they act extremely different to how they treat their better half. problems arise when you start discussing private marital problems.
if my husband acted like that with his friends, i would be annoyed but I would also understand that I would do the same and totally wreak revenge....lol.
Re: The Big Boys Club
I don't get it. Women complain about men who don't do this stuff around the house and they're demonized. They do it, and yet they're still whipped? because they act differently arond their friends?
Am i the only one who doesn't follow this man-hating logic?
Re: The Big Boys Club
^Nope, you're not the only one.... I don't get it either... but then men around me don't act that way nor do the females.
***I don’t see how awarding respect to wives/mothers and not acting like a jerk around them like they would with other guys is defined as “getting whipped” ! :aq:
***I think its a commendable trait to be able to distinguish what kind of situation warrants which kind of behaviour. I’d settle any day for a guy who knows how to respect me and knows what to say and what not to say in front of me than having him behave with me like I’m one of the “Guys”…in fact I Expect it !
Knowing when and what to say in front of whom shows he’s got his head screwed on right !***
Re: The Big Boys Club
Oh no. Clearly some of you are misunderstanding. As usual. Quite the converse...why are men afraid to show their sensitive side towards their friends?
Re: The Big Boys Club
They do!!
Only we call them gays :D