The quote is attributed to Frank Sinatra. I don’t know when he uttered it or under what circumstances and in reference to what experience in his life.
I wish I knew.
I’ve heard/read similar quotations over and over again and yes, I’ve believed them to hold some truth.
Today when I read this line I was left wondering…what if the person from whom you are seeking the revenge does not measure success in the same manner as you? Then what?
For example…what if person A measures success as being financially wealthy…being a multi-millionaire, let’s say.
What if your measure of success is not related to money at all? What if you feel successful in just being happy?
Revenge is personal and I think you achieve it when you feel satisfied with your accomplishments whether they match the other person’s view of revenge or not is secondary/not important.
isnt it a total waste of energy to even think like that? to seek revenge. allowing this person that you hate so much to continue being a part of you?
its beyond me… but i have a friend’s example. she was madly in love with her cousin … but he refused to even acknowledge her existence saying she will never amount to much.
my friend got her act straight, went onto becoming a CA, works at PWC (mighty lucky her brain was so good)… climbed up up and up… meets her cousin one day at a family gathering and that day she realized that she just never will ever be good enough for him. in his eyes, she was still the geeky cousin sister. her success was nothing in his eyes.
she is still a CA, but the passion, motivation is clearly not there.
she was a brilliant writer but when she chose business over literature, her reasoning was, writing doesnt hold the same prestige as working in the big 5. (her own thought process).
made no sense.
who does cousin dear end up marrying? a metric pass showpiece that cant hold a mature convo for more than 5 mins
i asked her if she felt at peace knowing she made something if herself, she said she didnt acheive what she set out to all those yrs ago, but she is thankful, in a weird way, to her cousin for giving her the drive.
I think I have never gone after revenge. I can understand the motivation behind what someone else did to me and me reacting for the better as a result of it but I don’t think I will ever build my life around that. In the end if I am happy and content with myself, then that’s what matters to me most.
But I guess revenge can be healthy as well, can’t it? Just to take your friends example. Let’s say she had picked something she liked and then worked really hard and not become so demotivated, in that case I would say the thought of revenge was healthy for her (but obviously not).
If the thoughts of exacting revenge were all consuming then you failed even if you’ve managed to be “massively successful” from your perpetrator’s perspective.
In my opinion, success is a full package, a balanced life if you may. I can be a very rich person, but if my health or relationships are in decline, then I am not successful. I maybe rich, healthy and enjoying a great family life, but if I am a manipulative, cruel, and corrupt person, then I am not successful.
Of course I can compartmentalize success and look up to Arnold for physique, Bill Gates for wealth, Steve Jobs for brilliance, and Brad Pitt for looks, but I would not exchange my full life with their full life.
Long story short, massive success comes with a price. If I am not willing to pay that price then I won’t care how successful the other party is. It’s going to take a lot for someone to turn his or her success in a revenge to me.
Maybe Mr. Sinatra meant it in more philosophical way. Maybe he was talking about taking revenge from circumstances that are mostly against you, and when you overcome those obstacles, and you beat the system in its own game, then you kind of took a revenge.
Don’t laugh, but the show “revenge” dealt with the same thing. The premise of it is a girl who seeks revenge for her father who was framed and imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit. She goes after the family who framed him, and in the process, a lot of innocent people get hurtl…throughout the series, she does question whether it’s been worth it or not.
these thoughts do not stem from my desire to exact revenge on anyone…I’m more interested in walking away from negativity but someone made a comment to me that no matter what I do, the person that wants revenge from me will exact his/her revenge by competing with me. I replied that a competition is only when both parties participate…if I refuse to run the race then how can anyone win? so ultimately how can there be revenge if one person’s idea of winning is different from the others’?
The best revenge is the one that Allah decides. Sometimes, we get hurt by others’ actions even when we know that taking that route would have ended badly for us. Allah knows best and if someone legitimately deserves reward or punishment, then they’ll get it in due time. We should deal with the hurt and move on. It’s never a good idea to let one action/incident consume you to the point that you’re no longer at peace with who you are.
ps: Khawa, what a sad story. I hope time heals her wounds.
Yes…I absolutely agree. But it takes some time for us to mature to the point where we are content to let Allah exact His judgement. For some people this might meaning waiting an entire lifetime and then waiting for that ultimate day when all souls will be called to answer for their deeds.
And revenge need not be such a all-consuming concept…it could be as simple as getting in front of the guy who cut you off on the road on your commute to work this morning. It may be nothing more than over-taking the idiot and slowing down in front of him. There are people that get satisfaction from this sort of behaviour. I know some.
I hope time heals her wounds.