The "Behen Bhai" Culture in Pakistan.

It is misused on a number of occasions, intentionally or unintentionally, I am no one to judge it.

Though the scholars say that Muslims are brothers and sisters as an Ummah, in terms of respect and purity of mind, but of course it is in a different sense than the blood relations.

Now, what usually happens is that the ‘purdah’ is not there with the na-mehram, and the limitations that our Prophet (saw) taught us are also not there, still they are behaving as blood brothers and sisters.

Hazrat Ayesha (r.a) is among the mothers of the Ummah (Umm-ul-Mo’mineen), yet she used to reply in pardah, whenever Suhabas (her sons in Ummah) used to come to clear their doubts about the Islam, which other scholars couldn’t clarify.

Very painfully I am sharing here what some men usually laugh about after calling a customer, a colleague, a class fellow....etc. as "Behen"

But I think I should share that immoral thought of some of the men I have come to know, so that sisters in Islam here may have a clear perspective of how they can be deceived by calling them "behen".

I have heard them saying:

[QUOTE]
Din ko behen bhai

Raat ko aik chaarpai
[/QUOTE]

Re: The "Behen Bhai" Culture in Pakistan.

yeah i agree CrimeMasterGOGO ji

this behn bhai culture is bullshyte

the only one who's your bhai is your real bhai, everyone else is a potential :D

Re: The "Behen Bhai" Culture in Pakistan.

Sorry I didnt read your post but I just came to say that a friend of mine used to call someone her bhai. Now she's getting married to him lol I don't think people understand the concept of behan bhai. If you call someone that then please let it be that way.

Re: The "Behen Bhai" Culture in Pakistan.

I believe the only relation you have is your blood relation. kisi ko behan ya bhai kah denay say wo bhai ya behan nahi bn jata ..:) .. ..

secondly, the way you portrayed men mentality (which i pretty much agree) i want to tell you my personal experience with this "sister" notion. at least 3-4 girls, who used to call me bhai .. .. and all of sudden all of 'em said "i love you, would you marry me" .. WTH .. .. for some guys, it would be normal but for me it was not since I don't have a sister and I know what it feels if you don't have a real sister. I treated them the way a siter should be treated but in the end, what did i get .. ??? since that day .. I never let anyone call me bhai .. even if they call me .. I tell them straight away, you can call me whatever you want but don't expect the same from me.

Who should i blame?

Re: The "Behen Bhai" Culture in Pakistan.

its not just that, even in muslim organizations in US, you are referred to as brother this or sister that, its like yo, i have a name, why not just say Mr. X and Not Brother X? overused term..
atleast be a little hip and say Bro X or Brotha' X..

HAHAHAHAHA!

J'aime!

Re: The "Behen Bhai" Culture in Pakistan.

I was in MSA and they asked me to be the president of MSA for one term .. I told 'em right away that the very first thing i will cut out of MSA ethics would be calling each other brothers/sisters :p .. and they never made me president saiyng that you are too liberal .. :D

That is ALL of MSA in most Canadian schools (Ok, exaggeration). It is funny when you find out that the MSA brothers and sister got married.

exactly. I feel it so weird when our president use to tell us that this executive is going out with this executive so he/she can’t be in MSA any more .. and i was like .. WTH .. .. is this some kind a standard or something .. :S .. .. i always argued against that thing which made 'em not to talk these things infront of me .. :stuck_out_tongue: .. lol! .. .. but they also never let things into my hands otherwise i would have changed the concept of MSA :smiley: :devil:

oh come on folks, i love the sister brother in Islam thing...makes you feel like one big community...of course its Understood that they're still na-mehrum... but still its so sweet to be called "Sister so and so" feels good.

T1000 - aap toh boht bharambaaz ho bhaijaan... i mean, which guy doesn't like being told "i love you will you marry me" by some gal? and tell me why did you make so many sistas in the first place :p
and thank God they did not make you the MSA pres!

by the way peeps, in Pakistan everyone, even an uncle who is twenty years older, like maybe your tailor or the neighborhood shop wala, will call you BAJI - it's jus a cultural thing - doesn't mean you're actually their BAJI yo!

Re: The "Behen Bhai" Culture in Pakistan.

^ There is absolutely no problem in calling anyone "brother" or "sister". It shows respect and Islamic relationship of being part of the same ummah. The problem is only when the tongue is saying "behen" while at the same time, the eyes are wondering in the wrong areas (private zone). In short, when the limitations of na mehram is crossed.

Sometimes it is very funny. Adult cousins are less na mehram while far relatives are more. That is why the dupatta that was casually not at the right place in the presence of cousins, is suddenly corrected after the arrival of a far relative. Open chit chat with cousins becomes less obligatory compared to other na mehrams.

hahahahah thats funny.

I dont' agree with calling someone brother. I have a brother, a father, mother, chachus, tayas, mamoos khalas phuphiyan cousins etc. I am not looking for replacements or substitutions.

Sisters....maybe, but not really.

Re: The "Behen Bhai" Culture in Pakistan.

[QUOTE]
oh come on folks, i love the sister brother in Islam thing...makes you feel like one big community...of course its Understood that they're still na-mehrum... but still its so sweet to be called "Sister so and so" feels good.

T1000 - aap toh boht bharambaaz ho bhaijaan... i mean, which guy doesn't like being told "i love you will you marry me" by some gal? and tell me why did you make so many sistas in the first place :p
and thank God they did not make you the MSA pres!

by the way peeps, in Pakistan everyone, even an uncle who is twenty years older, like maybe your tailor or the neighborhood shop wala, will call you BAJI - it's jus a cultural thing - doesn't mean you're actually their BAJI yo!
[/QUOTE]

Glad at least someone else holds the same view as myself.

And this bhen bhai system isn't unique to Islam or Pakistan...

So i dont see the fuss, if you dont wanna be part of the fold then fine... more the pity on you.

Re: The "Behen Bhai" Culture in Pakistan.

^ Brother, please do read all the posts and try to understand the context of the topic, before concluding anything. There is nothing wrong in the brother sister relationship unless the Islamic limits set for na-mehram are crossed. (which we all know)

okay .. tell me .. If i call a girl "sister" then it means i am mahram for her ?? .. i don't think that islam says anyting about "mou bolay rishtay" .. then why we are even arguing on this fact?

the context of this thing is .. for a moment forget about islam just think about the respect of relationship then does it make sense that you call someone sister with the dialog din ko behan bhai raat ko aik chaar payi ?? I even heard these things .. baji bnao, larki phasao .. .. and you can read the my earlier reply as well where girls, wohm i used to call sisters, said "i love you" to me .. .. where is the respect of that relation ship? does not all this make you not believe on all this moun bola stufF??

try to understand things from my perspective. leme say it again ..

  • I have not sister
  • Then few girls said that we are your sister.
  • I treated them the way i think sister should be treated. being nice, humble .. and all that respect that a woman deserve
  • all of sudden they said the l word .. ..

wat do you think .. ?? how would i have felt? a guy, who missed the love of "real" sister and when he thought there could be someone then he realized that they din mean it that way? .. .. do you really think it is "bharambazi" .. ???

Please, before making a judgemental statemnet try to think from someone other perspective as well ..

Re: The "Behen Bhai" Culture in Pakistan.

When you wanna annoy a guy, call him "bhai"

Re: The “Behen Bhai” Culture in Pakistan.

In Pakistan I have seen people saying it out of respect . Similar to ‘Madam’ in West . One can’t judge people if they don’t use term in literal sense .

Reha :wave:

Re: The "Behen Bhai" Culture in Pakistan.

isi liye mein kehti houn

bhai ho to maa kay pait ka aur behan hoto maa kay pait ki

na mein kisi ko bhai bunatoi houn aur na he kisi ki behan bunna chahti houn

meray upnay behan bhai he kaafi haen meray liye