not in any taunting way please, but I remembered a real life situation after reading CM’s thread on men getting married at older ages now…
So we tried to connect a guy we know locally to a family friend’s daughter. He is in his late 30s, must be 40 now and had mentioned to my husband that he would like to settle down now that he has a steady career (a great one actually) and all that. So the girl and the guy talked a few times, seemed to get on well, so the girl’s mom asked him to naturally involve his family for formal baat cheeth.
A few days later, hubby finds out that the boy’s mom got mad at him for even pursuing a rishta when his younger sister was still unmarried and he would need to pay for her wedding first.
So here’s a situation we often come accross…the guys must put their lives off even if they are getting older just because they have all these responsibilities.
While I acknowledge that many times it seems that our girls are in a messy situation often times we ignore the problems our guys face…the pressures, insecurities of their families, the responsibilities…
Why don’t we parents raise our daughters and sons the same way, at least in terms of financial independence?
Yep, its really unfair to the guys...... all financial burden falls upon them.
InshaAllah, we will raise our kids to be financially independent, doesn't matter if its girls or boys.
Oh and I have another observation.... its usually the eldest son who gets the most financial responsibility also.
If a family has four sons, it will still be considered the responsibility of the eldest one to take care of all financial needs.
i think it that it is normally the older generation that used to think like that the newer generation does seem to stress the importance of being equal in all respects whether you're a male or female and MIAinVa put it perfectly that inshallah we will raise our children to be financially independent regardless of gender.........from my own experience my cousin that just got married last year insisted on paying for the majority of her own wedding even though she has two older brothers that could have easily paid for the wedding
Sometimes it's not even a financial issues. I have seen families that just put moral obligation on borthers to take care of sisters. Or elder siblings to take care of little ones.
Isn't that a parents responsibility? If siblings want to pitch in that great but forcing siblings to do parent's responsibilities is not fair
Sometimes it's not even a financial issues. I have seen families that just put moral obligation on borthers to take care of sisters. Or elder siblings to take care of little ones.
Isn't that a parents responsibility? If siblings want to pitch in that great but forcing siblings to do parent's responsibilities is not fair
One of my friend's brother was in same situation. Father died long time back 2 sisters were at home doing nothing and only 1 sister (my friend) was working. Ultimately he got married without even informing his family and separated.
Yes I understand the mom's concern but she should have raised her son with teh confidence that even if he gets married he would not abandon what are considered his responsibilities. Why should he suffer until all the variables have been taken care of? Selfish isn't it?
I think it is ridiculous that anyone should put their life on hold coz they have siblings!!! It is selfish of parents to expect their kids to take all the responsibility...and take care of it all b4 they move on with their life!!! If that is the case...they should not have babies when their sons are already 15-20yrs of age! that the son has to wait past 40 to get married!!
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