So we often hear about all those marriages where mom’s claim that their sons are “bechaara” and the wives “bharo the kaan” and the poor innocent dudes get cut off from their families.
My question is that do these type of guys have a tendency to get so easily influenced or they just choose to save their marriage?
Re: The balancing act
save the marriage
Re: The balancing act
Save The Marriage
Re: The balancing act
Men should be able to strike a balance and decide things for themselves then getting influenced by any party !
Re: The balancing act
They save their marriage and do what they can do make peace in their lives.
Re: The balancing act
guys dont have a concept of loyalty. Or wafa. If you can not stay true to those who raised you.. how can you ever stay true to someone you met five days ago.
It is not the guys fault. It is their* fitrat* to be self involved. Therefore they are baicharai.
Re: The balancing act
I think the men are submissive and women wear the trousers in these relationships.
I would have to agree that the biggest reason why so many families break up because of this issue is because (like everyone has mentioned) the guy wants to save his family and achieve some sort of peace in his life.
As for the influence issue...I don't think it's so much that men are easily influenced as it is an issue of human nature. You hear something often enough from your wife or husband (i.e. "why does your mother do XYZ, we never do it that way" or "your family takes advantage of you by doing ABC") that you start to believe it...even if it's not true. And that's when the cracks start to appear. So often I've seen guys in my community who for years have been perfectly happy with their families and their way of doing things...as soon as they get married, they start getting critical of the same families who they previously had no problem with and start separating themselves from them. I've seen newly married women do this as well.
Sheyn said it best. Men (and women) need to strike a balance between the new and old families and try their best to do the right thing...instead of just walking the path of least resistance. That's the ideal though. Sometimes it's not always possible, unfortunately.
guys dont have a concept of loyalty. Or wafa. If you can not stay true to those who raised you.. how can you ever stay true to someone you met five days ago.
It is not the guys fault. It is their* fitrat* to be self involved. Therefore they are baicharai.
And i suppose women invented the wafa concept!
Re: The balancing act
Its good to see that Pakistani women consider breaking off ties with the in laws as some form of saving their marriage. Just goes to show that you lot come in with the mind set to cause trouble. Well done!
As for the man, if a man breaks off ties with his own blood for the sake of a woman who would easily divorce him when she wanted to, I frankly think he needs a swift kick in the balls.
Those are Baicharai, like hitchki said
Who is not able to sustain balance and govern it.
Its good to see that Pakistani women consider breaking off ties with the in laws as some form of saving their marriage. Just goes to show that you lot come in with the mind set to cause trouble. Well done!
As for the man, if a man breaks off ties with his own blood for the sake of a woman who would easily divorce him when she wanted to, I frankly think he needs a swift kick in the balls.
Love your comments and totally agree!!
A woman can ask her husband to get a separate home, but that does not in any way mean that they guy should not get a home right next to his family
Neither the guy's family nor the girl's family should interfere with their married life
The guy is a douchebag if he dumps his family over the girl
Unfortutely many girls are taught by their moms to "khawand per qabza karo" philosophy and hence start working on seprating the guy from his family right from the beginning without realizing that how would they feel when their own son may do the same to them a couple of years down the lane.... what goes around comes around.....
Re: The balancing act
Re: The balancing act
Save The Marriage
men act weak when it comes to choosing marriage or family but frankly speaking Allah has given a brain so men should think what parents do for their children when they are small what sacrifices they make for them before leaving their parentThey should also think of the term"what goes around comes around"today if they leave their parents for their wife the time will come when their own sons will do the same to them.
Re: The balancing act
Our philosophy is simple. Divide and rule. Gather sympathies from both sides. We can’t afford to be 100% loyal to one party.
Come on who doesn’t like some extra love 
Re: The balancing act
^ Nice post! :)
What if the wife never gets accepted by the inlaws and the rest of the family, her Husband stands by her b/c he sees what is really happening...then what fault is it of hers...or his?
I have seen this happen. I know an Aunt who had an arranged marriage with an Uncle. It took her over ten years to get accepted by her inlaws and extended family. They choose her but never accepted her once she came into their family. But because she never spoke a bad word and stayed patience, now she is loved, respected and accepted by everyone.
But she got a good bashing all for nothing for 10 years!
My question is that do these type of guys have a tendency to get so easily influenced or they just choose to save their marriage?
In either cases, they are mere losers and nothing more.