Re: The baby ...
zobia, you are under the impression that just because the baby is the product of his rape, the biological father has legal rights over the baby. such patriarchial gobbledygook does not hold up in civilized societies. so giving the baby to him is not an option.
hmmm ... zobia the drama bit is what the girl's mother wants to do , she wants to keep the baby in the family out of the way of the girl until she feels ready or misses the baby and deals with her inner self to accept it..
Again some of the social care staff say this is wrong and shouldnt be done , the baby should either be accepted or given up for adoption ...
well love to hota hai, abb zaberdasti to raato raat ko kara nahi sakta.
the situation here is different.
you only realize the love, when you actually drown all your boats.
and mother definitely will come back to her baby, after realizing that its not that poor souls mistake.
zobia, you are under the impression that just because the baby is the product of his rape, the biological father has legal rights over the baby. this is not the case in civilized societies. so that is not an option.
what i am suggesting is called reverse psychology. only say the things to mother just to see how hard she feels for her child.
and hell no, dont give the baby to that animal.
queer, there is a difference between doing things and saying about things.
Re: The baby ...
yeah if the mom is a 3 year old, that would work on her.
but if she is a grown up who knows what can be done and what cant be done.. dont be so condescending and assume the mom is a moron.
Re: The baby ...
are u saying that "3 years olds are moron"?
Re: The baby ...
And also lets not forget, this is the baby's crucial time needed for bonding with the mother.
Inshallah ALLAH will give the mother the strength to over come this hard time in her life.
However whatever happens to the baby now, will be permanent in the future. And babies can feel everything from day one, and it DOES effect them later in life. It needs to feel that there is that one person who is going to be there, right now the baby does not have that.
btw how old is it?
Re: The baby ...
The baby is now a week old mashallah .. and really the rape wasnt in any way or form the girls fault. The abductor was a drunk black and it was a random attack on her whilst she was returning home from work.
Re: The baby ...
So what exactly is her interactions with the baby?
Does she pick it up/feed it?
Or does she just stay away from it and from the family?
How is she holding up?
Re: The baby ...
Gaia, she is sort of normal in her interaction with the family , she is still alot quiter then her real self .. and when it comes to the baby, she doesnt even want to be in the same room as him...
one the girl's mother left the baby intentionally in her room , the baby crying and wailing was left here for 20 minutes before she came closer to him ... just kept on looking at him tried to pacify him slightly but didnt pick him up ... finally others had to intervene and took the baby away...
Re: The baby ...
If she decides to have the child and raise him/her, what will she tell him where his daddy is and where he came from?
Right now leaving the baby intentionally is torcher for the mother. I hope no one ever just wants her to move on and let it go, you know the desi mentality!
It needs to be one step at a time. Someone in the house needs to become her care taker, without her knowing! And everyone needs to watch their actions towards her. It was very wrong to leave the baby in the room without her consent! Clearly she is not ready, and when she is believe me she will let people know. The child should not be pushed onto the mother, no matter how hard you try she will not get any more loving towards the child. Right now all the child is doing is reminding her of the past, and nothing more.
One step at a time is the key. Without proper recovery, not only will it take longer for her to like the baby(thats if she EVER will!) but also it will not let her live a healthy life style.
For the mom, the problem right now is the baby so, if possible the baby needs to be taken to another household, where it never feels neglected. To start healing you have to take away the stresser. For the nine months that she had to spend with the child, it was probably very hard. But she needs a break now, even if its just for a little while.
And when SHE'S ready she will let the family know.
Re: The baby ...
How old would be the baby by the time this thread ends?
Re: The baby ...
i don't see how one can be forced to keep a rape baby, if she's not up for it give the child up for adoption, she's the mother/victim, she should know best about what should be done
Re: The baby ...
Why didn't she have an abortion?
Re: The baby ...
^
health probs
Re: The baby ...
Sara, she was in a very critical state since after the rape , physically she had lost alot of blood and was in shock for a few weeks which left her very very vulnerable and the doctors advise totally against abortion.