Hey everyone…I need a bit of insight and really just some reassurance.
I am at the age now where the arranged marriage process is beginning. And to put it quite simply- i’m terrified! I know that of course my family will do their best to find a guy who they believe is right for me…but I just feel a bit uneasy. My family has decided they will introduce me only to those potentials who they believe are a real possibility and allow me to communicate with the guy etc and have the final say…but i’m still scared. What if I make a wrong decision? What if the guy comes across as being perfect (as everyone is initially) and then afterwards things change? I know I shouldn’t be quite so negative but i’m just scared. Also…generally I am quite outgoing and talkative but what on earth could I talk to a potential ABOUT? Basically…how can you determine if someone is right for you or not in an arranged situation? A friend of mine recently got married and she was arranged and she told me the first time she met her husband there was a spark/chemistry etc…is that an indicator of whether someone is right for you or not? :s Oh please…someone help..because I’M LOST.!
Anyone out there who has been arranged and had a positive experience (I know there must be plenty)?
My advice to you would be to not worry about things that haven't even happened!!!
Surely your parents will give you time to get to meet and know potentials? So just go by your instincts, take your time, dont worry so much, and best of luck :)
I am sure you will be fine princess, every girl goes thru it and nobody dies or anything :p. Haha. I know it really seems strange but unless we are strong enough to bycott such trends, we wl have to unfortunately become part of it :(.
Just relax and take it as it comes. Don't feel the pressure to accept someone, if you cant make up your mind after 1 meeting have your parents arrange another one somehow and take it from there. Even then i think nobody gets to know the other person well enough unless they live with that person so alot of it is luck too. So i wish u loads of luck and may Allah help you find a perfect match for yourself. Aameen.
Try not to get carried away by the sweet talk that he will be having with you. Just observe him and his habits and don't give too much attention to what he says.
This kind of behavior in an arranged setup shouldn't cause any problem becoz if he really likes you, this won't stop him from pursuing the rishta.
And since you are so concerned about knowing the person, just concentrate on this aspect only and leave the chemistry and sparks for after marriage.