So every time we talk to family back home, I hear three things now they just drive me crazy!
Make sure baby has a flat head
Apply atta paste to remove hair on his face
Make sure he has a thin nose!
My mom made this thing to flatten his head n we use it occasionally but I could care less about the shape of his head or nose for that matter…I try to just laugh about it but it’s getting annoyed n I can’t even imagine the grief I will be getting if my baby had any of the above three on our next visit to Pakistan.
Dud you hear similar stuff too? How did you deal with it? On phone n in person?
Oh gosh I got the first one a lot.To date I have no idea what the actual objective of this whole head shaping business is and what is the desired shape…??
What difference will it make because no one notices the shape of the head when you have hair covering it…!!
but I got lots of “compliments” when I took E to Pakistan at 6 months of age.Everyone told me ‘main ne sar bahut acha banaya hai’..Is aid ‘jee thank you’ and moved on.I actually did nothing.She used to sleep flat or on her side in her crib.That made her ‘sarr’…
The other 2 I never heard,but my mom tells that when she had me her nani used to tell her two things:apply surma to my eyes and press my nose to make it thin.Ammi did not do any of it.Next time notice my nose..I think it is fine..!
How to deal with it…hmmm…just ignore it..!..You will get tons of free advice everywhere.Some will be practical and useful and some will be stuff like you mentioned…in one ear,out the other…
Make head flat?? All I heard was how to make sure the head was nice and round.
As for the hair, it comes off on it's own, and dude, the naak is all genetics. Either he has a thin nose or doesn't- there's not much you can do there. Silly people and their silly advice. I can see your frustration.
Not to be devil's advocate but I think there must be some truth to the head thing....even though hair covers it, sometimes the way the hair falls depends on the shape of the head...
I thought I would never be bothered about these things till I saw my husband without hair (his sarr is not made) and he can't shave his hair. His head looks misshapen. So I did make my baby's sarr but didn't do it till he was one month old and to be honest I did what women in the village do which was harsh (putting his head on a plate and applying a little pressure to his forehead). Jr. had an elongated head even at 1 month and doing this his sarr now became gol.
What Sara said is correct, basically putting the baby on a flat hard surface is what flattens the back of the head which oddly rounds off the top of the head and also if you notice guys whose sarr is not made their hair grows like it would on a ball, it doesn't fall flat straight at the back. One other thing that forced me to make Jr.s sarr was that my husband's sarr is still soft in some places on his head.
I wish I had known how to do the sarr early on (actually it makes itself ) all you need to do is put his head on a flat hard surface and make sure his head is not rolling to one side (it is completely straight in the middle) for a hard surface a hard cardboard box cutout would be good enough. That is what was done for my sil's baby and she didn't have to do much sarr is easily made this way.
On the hair front, Jr. was born with a lot of hair on his forehead still has it, I don't care. He was born with hair on his shoulders (yuck, runs on his dad's side of the family) but all that hair fell off. He is gonna get those back post puberty so I don't really care. I would however do the aata thing on my daughter.
I considered the plate thing harsh. I used a small pillow filled with raw rice,that's what my mom tell she did for us :-/ and they have good shaped heads.
people DO notice it here. My husband recently returned from hajj and is bald ofcourse ; my sister's MIL came over to meet and saw him and sais 'tumhari ami ne sarr bahut acha banaya hai tumhara :D
Yes inshAllah for the second baby I plan on using this pillow and keeping a cardboard cutout under it as the hard surface like we did for sil. So I don't have to do the harsh thing like I did for Jr. (that was painful no doubt)
I agree with the first one. I don’t know how different each baby’s head is but because mine was born with forceps, his head was pulled so one side of his head was almost umm dented??!! I shaped it.. its still not perfect because that’s how he was born. I did my best with this pillow Toysrus.com, The Official Toys”R”Us Site - Toys, Games, & More – Toys"R"Us .. My doctors all said yeah they agree that his head isn’t round and perfect but I should leave it alone. If it bothers me too much then get the pillow or change sides. I did. So the first one is true. Oh between no one in my family has ever done it or even heard of this. I was the first and that too because I read about this head shaping thing here earlier and then saw my baby’s head.. hmmmm
Some babies are hairier than others but most of that fuzz falls off after few weeks.
have posted this several times on parenting forum but I am writing it all over again for you:
My daughter had a flat head till she was like 6-7 or may be 8 months old. People used to talk about her flat head and used to say that the head should be round I was also worried I even consulted a doctor but as she started sitting on her own her head shape got normal and is perfectly fine now masha allah. The doctor I consulted said that the same thing and said to wait till she gets a year old.
My daughter was born on 30th week of my pregnancy so she was premature and most of the pre mature babies are very hairy so was she. Doctor strictly told us not to do anything on her skin because she was very weak and tiny so we did NOTHING ! now at 2 years masha allah all those hairs have fallen off . One of my cousin brother was born with big hairs on his ears but those also fell off those extra hairs on body goes away with time don't worry.
Yes I got to hear so many muft mashwaras for my daughter's nose but she is too precious for me and I did not want to play around or experiment anything new with her nose just because someone is telling me to. Listen from one ear and out from another babies are too sensitive for all these things.
GTG just do what your heart allows you too people will talk anyway they think it's their birth right to give mashwaras & to pass comments. Just to tell you my daughter has got lovely curly hairs masha allah but recently a relative visited us and kept saying "is kay baal theek ho jaye gay" just to imply that there is something wrong with her hairs whereas her own hairs are like jharoo (broom) I did not like her comments but I opted to ignore her jahil ko jawab denay kay liye jahil bana parta hai better that you ignore & keep quiet.
Looks like sar bithana is pretty common..I have a flat head n that's because was born insindh n our Sindhi neighbors put thevsaucer under my head n did so many other thngs that my mom didn't even know of..she just collected the compliments when I was taken to Punjab! :D
My son spits up milk n I intentionally turn his head sideways be use I m scared if him choking on it..sar bithana is least of my priority right now!
Re! The nose..I was so offended the other day that I told the auntie..do you really expect me ro put clothes pin to make it thin? She just lol n said, you only have 40 days to shape his nosen head..whatever..I don't need to shape things created by Allah!
My husband and I both are not hairy at all, so I m sur eit will go away..it's not in our genes!
I m jut dread g the visit to Pakistan and everything that I will hear there.. I want to go before he starts solid just so I can avoid people giving him food here n there including but nt limited to egg n honey...very common practice in our house!
I never understood the head shaping thing, cuz I don't understand what shape is desireable. I would think it's the round head that is more desireable, but here everyone is saying flat is better. I get that we don't want them being bumpy and uneven, but I don't really understand it beyond that.
You are not alone…
I used to think a round head is desirable.But then I heard it has to be flat…
I have tried to figure out if mine is flat or round,I actually cannot tell well but I feel it is round.
Looks like sar bithana is pretty common..I have a flat head n that's because was born insindh n our Sindhi neighbors put thevsaucer under my head n did so many other thngs that my mom didn't even know of..she just collected the compliments when I was taken to Punjab! :D
My son spits up milk n I intentionally turn his head sideways be use I m scared if him choking on it..sar bithana is least of my priority right now!
Re! The nose..I was so offended the other day that I told the auntie..do you really expect me ro put clothes pin to make it thin? She just lol n said, you only have 40 days to shape his nosen head..whatever..I don't need to shape things created by Allah!
My husband and I both are not hairy at all, so I m sur eit will go away..it's not in our genes!
I m jut dread g the visit to Pakistan and everything that I will hear there.. I want to go before he starts solid just so I can avoid people giving him food here n there including but nt limited to egg n honey...very common practice in our house!
You will have to learn to ignore.
I was told like a million times when I took E to Pakistan that I need to take her to some baba gee and she needs a 'dumm'.I am not trying to offend this belief people have but it was one of the things that annoyed me.I mean c'mon she is 7 mo baby...she will cry..!!
Then the gaxzillion times I had to hear 'kamzoor see hai'....and 'nani ke ghar sehat theek ho gayee hai'...yeah,I do not give her to eat and eat it all myself...silly comments.
But you just have to ignore them all,especially if you are only there for a while.
Taking a baby who has not started solids is the best thing IMO.I am totally dreading taking E this time.I plan on giving her home cooked meals only,so as to control any form of illness....but I know people will be offended.You have to do what is best for your child.I cannot please people with risking my child in a 2 week visit.Baqi Inshallah Allah malik hai.
Chipsy..remind me to show you my flat head when I see you..oh n I will check yours too.:D
I have heard things about his skin color too to the extreme that someone in my family said y baby had occasional fair skin these days because of my Kashmiri gene but his fathers darker skin color will be dominant in future...i just cringed my teeth n passed the phone off to mommy!
