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Some would say that there are no winners at Comic-Con (only 150,000 losers), but those people don’t have snippy articles to write about the winners of Comic-con. Also, those people probably weren’t there when Ryan Reynolds recited the Green Lantern oath to an absolutely flabbergasted little boy and obviously won Comic-Con. So without further ado - and after exhausting hours of sifting through ballots with the guys from Price Waterhouse Coopers - I present to you the 2010 San Diego Comic-Con Awards!
Best Way to Start Comic-con:
Winner: Waking all 5 of the people packed into your hotel room at 7:30 on Thursday morning with Edith Piaf’s “Non, je ne Negrette Rien.”
Runner-up: A hypodermic needle of amphetamines directly to the heart.
**Best Reason to Wear 3-D Glasses: **
Winner: Drive Angry 3-D. Because two dimensions are simply not enough to contain Nicolas Cage. Or his anger.
Runner-up: They’re the last line of defense between you and a pen to the eye.
Best Reason to Remove 3-D Glasses Despite the Fact that they’re the Last Line of Defense Between You and a Pen to the Eye:
Winner: Thor. Kenneth Branagh knows how to shoot for depth, just not this kind of depth. The *Thor *footage was lifeless, silly, and without an iota of the scale required to balance the character’s godly origins. Thanks to the woefully mishandled 3-D, it was also dim and vaguely disorienting. How could a film that features Anthony Hopkins as Odin and Natalie Portman as the prettiest thing in the universe seem so… uninteresting?
Runner-up: The *Alpha and Omega *trailer. Finally, a kids movie about a wolf desperately trying to have sex with another wolf.
Best Proof that No Lessons Were Learned From I Am Legend:
Winner: Priest, and its CG vampires.
Runner-up: The last Paul Bettany movie.