Ok so a disclaimer to all of the guppies that start questioning my marriage whenever I “gasp” talk about doing something without my husband…I love my husband and have a blast with him, however we both understand and appreciate the need for both of us to have opportunities to do things separately…
Ahem…back to my post…
So I had the best weekend 2 weeks ago hubby was going snow camping and I chose to stay home, ( I know you can’t believe I didn’t go with him, but though I love to backpack..i also love the fire and hot cocao at the end..and snow camping does not offer opportunities for either) …. And what did I do instead of backpacking through tahoe!!! I just hung out at home…in my pjs, big silly socks, messy hair (even did my leave-in conditioning treatment that night)….. I LOVED IT…
I stayed at home Friday… didn’t change my clothes all day Saturday… sat there and ate pizza, popcorn, ice cream and drank root beer…and watched tons of hindi films. It rocked! …plus it was nice to have the place to myself, make a mess, leave things around and do my own thing for a few days…
I was to be honest, surprised at home much fun I was to do my own thing…
hey i think you need time alone. ther eis time you spent together and time you spent by yourself. way back when we were in college my bros and i talked about doing a trip together to macchu picchu, and then we all just got so busy in our lives that the idea just went away.
So, now we are planning a guys trip, probably just 3-4 days and it may not be macchu picchubut we will have a trip
now as far as staying at home and just chilling, begum and i have done it as well, relive college slacker weekends. tell family and friends we are out of town, get some movies..order in some food..relax and just recuperate. usually this has happened after times where we are really busy on weekends and during the week and just need a break.
Good for you!
I have many lazy days but then again I'm not married :-/
That's one thing that 'scares' me though, what if my future husband doesnt believe in time alone?! I sooooo need to be alone from time to time.
Cool! Glad to hear that you can enjoy your time together with hubby and apart from him. It reminds me of chilling out and jumping around silly, doing crazy dances around the house sometimes just in my undies, when parents and siblings are not around at home. It truly rocks to let loose like that. Hehe.
Shinzi, I know what you mean. I get sick of people if I see too much of them, it's happened with my best friends, my siblings and some days my folks too. It's not fun but I can't help it. If I see someone day in and out, something about them starts to irritate me so much, it drives me insane. And so I end up avoiding them for a few days until I am over it! I need a break from the people I know every now and then; even if they haven't done anything. It's kind of weird, I should talk this over with my german shrink.
hayaa.. typically speaking the relationship between spouses is not like we have with any other 'person' in our lives. So you really can't compare that relationship with your typical friends and acquintances.
Having said that, its probably a nice idea to spend some time by yourself.
Amelie.. your weekend sounds relaxing. Now that we have kids, our best hope is to have a quiet evening together when the kids have all gone to sleep. On a normal weekend, with kids, they just need to go out and vent their energies at some place, so its difficult to stay-in, but we do manage it sometimes. Although, frequently we switch amongst ourselves and let one parent out to relax with his/her friends and just chill. But thats usually a weeknight.
Faisal, I agree with you. But then I have seen many married couples and to me it seems like the ideal relationship would be very much like between two close friends. And one would think you would see your spouse more than you see anyone else. That's gotta get a bit erm, what's the word, perhaps suffocating sometimes? But then I wouldn't know. I suppose you need time away from everyone including your spouse, or at least those of us that have a stronger sense and need for personal space.
Generally speaking, unless you marry a co-worker, you will spend many hours a day away from your spouse, anyway. So that is not really a problem. The problem may be that the husband and the wife may have different things which interest them, and they don't want to give them up, so they should not.
Like the husband may like to play cricket, which the wife has no interest, so he goes once a week to play with his friends. On the other hand, the wife likes to hang-out with her friends just to chit chat or catch a movie (chic flicks), where the husband don't have interest. So it works out. Then there are many more activities, which they do together. Does it get suffocating? Not really. Its just a balance.
You make it sound so simple and ideal. I guess I am used to looking at my parents' generation where the couples literally do everything together, or at least the ones I know. Perhaps it's different with our generation and more so because the concept of 'personal space' doesn't even exist with the older folk.
Even if you don't marry a co-worker, spouses tend to call each other frequently during the course of the day, and then you see them everyday and all weekend. For me that would become too much over a long period of time; but enough of speculation. Perhaps I'll find someone I just can't get enough of ;-).
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*Originally posted by hayaa: *
And one would think you would see your spouse more than you see anyone else. That's gotta get a bit erm, what's the word, perhaps suffocating sometimes? But then I wouldn't know.
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You know..i used to think the same thing before we got married. We knew each other for about 2 years before we marrid and I thoguht we would get bored of each other or feel suffocated..and it's not true.. you don't get bored BUT like Faisals says it's a balance.. AND weekends like I described as well as working and doing things seperatly help that ( i like hindi movies/ he loves xbox) ...BUT even more interesting is that well ...i did miss him and the fun part was when he came back, after we both got to do what we wanted..and had fun, we were now excited to see/be with each other again. It rocks. :)
Fraudia usually this has happened after times where we are really busy on weekends and during the week and just need a break.
You're right..this weekend came after our month long out of the country trip, my conference and I just needed a break..and we actually do that sometimes..we're so busy and active we just need a weekend that we plan to chill.
Muniya but sometimes I wonder if he enjoys the time Im out of the house and he's alone.
He does..as did I, I told him about how much fun I had and he said that it's the same when I'm gone..:)
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*Originally posted by hayaa: *
Shinzi, I know what you mean. I get sick of people if I see too much of them, it's happened with my best friends, my siblings and some days my folks too. It's not fun but I can't help it. If I see someone day in and out, something about them starts to irritate me so much, it drives me insane. And so I end up avoiding them for a few days until I am over it! I need a break from the people I know every now and then; even if they haven't done anything. It's kind of weird, I should talk this over with my german shrink.
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Whoa hayaa, I have the exact same!
Alright, bring on the german shrink, looks like I need one too :o
If I see someone day in and out, something about them starts to irritate me so much, it drives me insane.
I need a break from the people I know every now and then; even if they haven’t done anything.
^ OMG This behavior is not abnormal..its just scary. Read these lines five times and you will save the shrink some nightmares. I need water * gulp * paaaani…koi hai?
What am i doing here??
I better go enjoy my single life before it ends:hula:
Seriously after my last trip to see my family, as much as I love them, it made me appreciate my single life, by myself.
