Thank You

[lahoretolondon]

@Reha

Everything happens in life for a reason.

If you believe in Allah swt…then you definitely believe this much.

You might not have been happy with the marriage but you still married her. She could have turned out to be a demon but she turned out to be the sweetest thing…by your own admission. You could have stayed away from her but you had a son. She knows you don’t love her but she still loves you…by your own admission.

Do you see a pattern here? You might have been pushed into a marriage you didn’t want but Allah swt gave you a great partner.

@PyariCgudia

I have one muslim boy (well actually 2) in the program I’m at, and although there have been plenty of temptations on both ends, no one has snuck into anyone’s pants here. We’re all controlling ourselves. In fact the other girl in the program who is pakistani, and two other boys - all are virgins. Well, that’s what I understand of it, but at least while they’ve been here there have been no affairs.

And it’s NOT like we’re not all lonely, believe me we are. But we all make it a point to hang out at least once a week or every two weeks as just friends, and we have fun, and then we go home to our independent houses.

I’ve been on some dates for rishtaa purposes here, and still, no jumping into relationships within 6 months.

And I can tell you, if I had a husband back where I grew up, and I was separated temporarily for a job, I’d be spending my extra time wth him on the phone, and on the internet skyping and such. That way, I wouldn’t be feeling alone.

You know, you could have phone sex or skype sex or something like that with your wife. I know, gross, gross, but just sayin’. It’s a huge trend here with the military families where the husbands are in Iraq and afghanistan for war, and their wives are here at home.

JUST SAYIN’

@PyariCgudia

Oh, and not only am I alone sexually…I have now lost all my friends here, cuz they can’t be trusted anymore. I dont have family here. I work 80-90 plus hours per week, NOT including the work I put in from home. I have no maid, so I do all my cooking and cleaning, and you knwo what I’m doing to keep a sane mind right now? I go to the gym and work-out in my spare time, and keep myself entertained with hobbies - listening to music, posting jokes, trolling around here, that sort of thing.

You CAN do it.

Why do you not look for a job closer to home that maybe pays less but doesn’t involve you being away from your country for such long periods? Or look for jobs in some of these arab countries, where you could easily move her to be with you.

@PyariCgudia

I’m 29 and never had sexual intercourse. Beat that, punk.

@PyariCgudia

Wow you even planned the logistics already.

I am praying for your wife. That woman’s gonna need all the prayers she can get, By the the way you describe her, I’m not sure if she’s gonna be strong enough to live this out. shakes head

Ya Allah, is larki ko bachao.

@redvelvet

^Who knows? That might be a better fate.

Win-win? How could you EVER have thought it would be a win-win situation when EVERY single person involved in this equation (you, your wife, your son, your girlfriend) is going to lose something?

Maybe you think that financial support and the security of “still” having the title of “Mrs.” is enough for your wife…or that it’s enough of a win. But, like I said before, it’s the emotional consequences that will be the toughest to deal with…YES even for the wife who keeps it bottled up and puts on a fake smile…and YES even for the wife who is expressive of her emotions.

And then a tiny part of me wonders if maybe you should just go ahead with this…and that way…if your first wife has been feeling trapped, she just migt wake up and realize that she’s worth so much more. And in that case…if she were to split from you…I wonder how you’d respond. I’m not challenging you…I’m just curious.

@redvelvet

FFS, I’m not selfish, okay? If anything I’m so generous cuz there’s only one of me and I’m allowing two women to share me. And I’ll also be sharing more of my wealth and time too. That’s called generosity…and …and…sacrifice, okay?

^All said in Michael Kelso’s voice.

I’m not getting a second marriage, I plan on skyping with my wife just to give her assurance and to see her sweet smile help wash my mind, I’ve booked to tickets for my wife and son to come visit me here for a couple of weeks, so I can talk to her in person and just work things out. I guess I’ve always loved my wife, but I was afraid to tell myself that something like this could work, that I was just holding a grudge on nothing. I don’t know how I’ll tell the Russian girl we can’t get married. Yes I was a bigot and naive for thinking about getting a second marriage when I couldn’t get luckier then the wonderful women I already have. 6 months alone just causes mischief to brew in your head. A couple of you responders really gave thinking points, I didn’t have anyone to discuss this with, so this was a last act of desperation. I want to give special thanks to redvelvet for explaining the consequences, PyariCgudia for giving a me a good bashing and for explaining how bigoted my decision was, and to Reha for helping me realize my wife was a blessing and how blessed I’ve been through out my life.

If you have any questions fire away, I’ll answers as many as possible, and here’s a fun fact theirs only 1000-1500 Pakistanis in all of Russia and I’ve yet to meet a fellow Pakistani.

Again Thanks for the realization of my idocracy,

[Sehrysh]

Re: Thank You

Praise the Lord, he has seen the error of his ways!!

Next question, have you repented and said a sufficient number of Hail Marys? If not, an expensive piece of jewellery for your wife and an expensive gadget for your son might help you make it up to them

[rosedreams]

Re: Thank You

Wow. Congrats. And all the best :)

[redvelvet]

Re: Thank You

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had wondered if you felt subconscious feelings of love for your wife the whole time you kept using the word "care"...but I'm glad you realized it on your own. This is awesome. Who knows what things your wife may have been through prior to her marriage that could the reason why she stifles her feelings...but with some compromise and persistence, things can improve. It will take time, but it's not impossible. Best wishes.

[ShahreyarKhan]

Re: Thank You

man oh man you guys are effective

[Mirch]

Re: Thank You

Wow the power of GS, such a quick result.

[Contrarian]

Re: Thank You

Wow, this seems eerily similar to Pakistani/Indian dramas where the vilest of the vile creature is sorted by the end of the play or episode.

Mirch you beat me to it!

[Mad_Hatter]

Re: Thank You

I really wonder whether this guy is for real

[Sehrysh]

Re: Thank You

Wow, this seems eerily similar to Pakistani/Indian dramas where the vilest of the vile creature is sorted by the end of the play or episode.

Mirch you beat me to it!

^ I think we should all celebrate LTL's seeing the light by breaking out in a Bollywood-inspired dance number!

[TheNoodle]

Re: Thank You

Think again mate, two are better than one. Don't worry about the PMSing ladies here, they just aren't getting any.

[ShahreyarKhan]

Re: Thank You

which Lord?

@Sehrysh

Praise the Lord, he has seen the error of his ways!!

Next question, have you repented and said a sufficient number of Hail Marys? If not, an expensive piece of jewellery for your wife and an expensive gadget for your son might help you make it up to them

[queer]

Re: Thank You

russian girl pulled out didnt she? :O

[redvelvet]

Re: Thank You

@Mirch

Wow the power of GS, such a quick result.

Like I said in LTL’s thread…compared to other desi forums I’ve seen…there’s a greater number of mature people on here and a cohesiveness in helping a person out.

[Contrarian]

Re: Thank You

I really wonder whether this guy is for real

Quiet!...he is....you dont want guppans who wrote pages upon pages in responses to feel bad about their effort!

[Sehrysh]

Re: Thank You

@TheNoodle

Think again mate, two are better than one.

Yahan mardon se aik biwi nahin sambhaali jaati hay and you’re wishing two wives on him! What if they were PMS’ing at the same time, what could he do :no:

[STA]

Re: Thank You

@redvelvet

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I had wondered if you felt subconscious feelings of love for your wife the whole time you kept using the word “care”…but I’m glad you realized it on your own. This is awesome. Who knows what things your wife may have been through prior to her marriage that could the reason why she stifles her feelings…but with some compromise and persistence, things can improve. It will take time, but it’s not impossible. Best wishes.

to RV and PCG. you saved a family from destruction.

[redvelvet]

Re: Thank You

Don't worry about the PMSing ladies here, they just aren't getting any.

Neither is Noodle......or he wouldn't be on here right now.

Baaz aa jaao!

@STA....and Reha.

[Contrarian]

Re: Thank You

^ I think we should all celebrate LTL's seeing the light by breaking out in a Bollywood-inspired dance number!

I am not wearing no white sneakers!!!

[ninja_hattori]

Re: Thank You

@redvelvet

Like I said in LTL’s thread…compared to other desi forums I’ve seen…there’s a greater number of mature people on here and a cohesiveness in helping a person out.

And that RV girl did a fabulous job among them all…

[Mad_Hatter]

Re: Thank You

Quiet!...he is....you dont want guppans who wrote pages upon pages in responses to feel bad about their effort!

I'm sorry sir :(