I agree. A lot has been said about the topic so I have another question slightly related. What do you all think about sending “Thank you notes” after the wedding? I know it is not a usual practice in our weddings but don’t you think it should be done?
Re: "No boxed gifts."
^Yup, I think so. I sent them, but because I was not very organized, it was tricky. What I ended up doing is sending a thank you note to everyone who had visited us or attended wedding events within that first year. We created our own note thanking everyone for helping to make that first year of marriage so special with their good wishes and generosity. For those whose gifts I had noted, I added a more specific note.
With the baby, I've been better about keeping track. But she's almost 4 months old (mashAllah), and I'm still sending them!
I'm sure there's a rule about how soon thank you notes need to go out, but I wouldn't worry too much about that. I think it's just nice to know that your gift was acknowledged and appreciated. That's all.
Re: Thank You Notes
Definitely a great idea. I wish more Pakistani/Indian people did this.
Re: Thank You Notes
Depends. Our wedding will only be of 200 people as neither me or hubs have alot of family in the UK. We'll be meeting with all of our relatives in person in the coming weeks after the wedding to thank them in person. All them live in London as well.
I guess in Pakistan/India it would be easier for them to just post out thank you cards as families are so big there!... Although I wonder how reliable the postman is....
Re: Thank You Notes
^ I'm not sure. There the tradition is still hand-delivering invitations, so posting thank you cards would probably require more work to organize all the mailings and such.
^ I'm not sure. There the tradition is still hand-delivering invitations, so posting thank you cards would probably require more work to organize all the mailings and such.
Ok I'm confused. So you hand deliver thank you cards? Is that not slightly OTT than just visiting and thanking relatives.
I only see the thank you cards concept for if your posting it otherwise if your thanking in person what's the point of writing it down when its nicer to say it with a nice hug! :)
Re: Thank You Notes
no no, i'm just saying since invites aren't mailed as often, the system of mailing thank you cards would require some set up. i don't think thank you cards are common in pakistan.
I think thank you cards would only work in Pakistan if there is ALOT of family that attended and it will take you a long time to get round to meet them all or if your flying out straight after the wedding to go live with your hubby. Otherwise even after the wedding the family ends up inviting you and hubs around for dinners etc so people usually take a gift for the family and thank them for participating in the wedding. Sahar you said you did thank you cards I'm intrigued to know how it worked because I do think its good idea.
Re: Thank You Notes
Here in the USA it's not too uncommon.. It's widely practiced. The only problem with Desi wedding is that we have a HUGE number of guests compare to the normal westerners. So it does take time to get around them also it can cost a LOT (the cost of the cards about $2.5 starting price + the postage fee).
Re: Thank You Notes
i would send them to people who give you special gifts or make a real effort at your wedding instead of those who arrive late, eat like they've never seen food before, burp and leave :)
Re: Thank You Notes
Agreed! Some of my family is doing such an effort to attend the wedding from Pakistan and Australia. I will definitely be sending them thank you's :)
Re: Thank You Notes
What my cousin did at her wedding to kind of stay organized for the thank you notes was they made sure that during the wedding, every table had, had a chance to have their pictures taken. So one of us was assigned to a few tables and we had to make sure at some point that those people had taken pictures with their famillies at the stage with the bride and groom from that table. It worked out really well because then each and every family/ couples picture was made into a thank you card on the front with a personal message written by the bride and groom inside. It was really nice and thoughtful even for the guest whom they didn't know very well. It was easy to do because there was no mistake whose card was whose with eveyones picture on the cover.
Re: Thank You Notes
^ That's nice!
Here in the USA it's not too uncommon.. It's widely practiced. The only problem with Desi wedding is that we have a HUGE number of guests compare to the normal westerners. So it does take time to get around them also it can cost a LOT (the cost of the cards about $2.5 starting price + the postage fee).
Cards are definitely not that expensive. Thank you cards usually come in sets of 8, 10, 16, 24, 36, etc. You can get them reasonably priced.
Re: Thank You Notes
Yup, they should be sent out!
Etiquette wise, I believe you have 12 months after your wedding to send them out, but the sooner, the better. I waited till I had my photographs then designed a Thank You card using those and we hand wrote them and then mailed them to our guests. I do wish more desi people would do this- its so nice to receive one! To keep organised, I had an excel document with all of our guests names and mailing addresses from when we were first sending out the invites, and then when we opened presents, we added in a column noting down who gifted what. This made it super easy when writing the notes because we could reference what the person had gifted us.
Sana, what a great idea!