men always think that they are unable to understand why women are so deep in their emotions. some women also often wonder dearly, why some men are so shallow.
is it true generally?
why is this observation not talked about?
these are terrifying feelings which break through all safety nets of hope, faith and love.
at times, it is mere insensitivity on the part of these men, but at other times, it is a creepy way to sneak away that leaves impressions.
sad as it is, it does happen. Some-times, women are a lot stronger in their resolve to make things turn out positive, but men, act as unperturbed. partly because they are terribly socialized to keep their emotions hidden and kept away from even their own selves.
& partly because women who are better able to acknowledge the inner feelings of such men, keep a quiet.
in cases where a life long commitment is based, how long should this state of indecision be, & who must make a final conclusion, so that things are not hanging in a balance & one is neither holding out anything nor holding in anything far more sadder - disappointments in honesty and purity.
does hope have a chance here?
thread is open for illuminating discussion on the presented issue, to both females and males, & is not for playing any kind of blame game.
Re: terrifying disappointments as lessons in life
someone once told me abt a book.i don't remember well but it was something like"Womens r from venus,men from mars" may b it'll answer ur questions.they r diff as Allah made them.ab koi kia ker sakta hai n yes gals r all sugar n spice n all things nice :)
Re: terrifying disappointments as lessons in life
men always think that they are unable to understand why women are so deep in their emotions. some women also often wonder dearly, why some men are so shallow. is it true generally? why is this observation not talked about?
Our priorities a different, Men have to be far sighted and plan the future, Women in general are in charge of daily routines and emotions seem to govern all their activities.
**Men simply learn to check their emotions, and chanel them in different ways un beknown to the fair sex.....:) **
Re: terrifying disappointments as lessons in life
Our priorities a different, Men have to be far sighted and plan the future, Women in general are in charge of daily routines and emotions seem to govern all their activities.
**Men simply learn to check their emotions, and chanel them in different ways un beknown to the fair sex.....:) **
Main ne apnay gird tu aaj k baray main sochnay walay men ziada daikhay hain who make impulsive decisions n don't put future consequences into much consideration haan may b in business they do so.
Re: terrifying disappointments as lessons in life
People react differently towards achievements and disappointments. I think you are generalizing men and women when you describe it with emotions i.e women cry, men do not. Crying is not the thing rather how they respond afterwards. If they make the necessary adjustments, they have 'learned' the lesson in their life.
Re: terrifying disappointments as lessons in life
man with a plan,
both women and men, who are honest with themselves and with their significant others/ soul mates - married or otherwise, do indeed feel a sense of connection that is purer than anything.
but, if the lessons learnt are 'brought on' due to on-going confusion due to absence of speech among themselves, rather than improving things, mellow feelings over take and even a happy event will become an unwelcome eventuality.
the reality of this is a subtle slow death of positive emotions and an ability to
embrace the WHOLE of the other person who one would think that one cannot live without or truly be in an expected caring relation built on pure love for each other, for life.
a few points of yours are well taken.
women, in general are well aware of their own feelings and that is why their weeping is a call out for realization in others of how hurt they are.
men, make the pretence that they are not capable of calling out for a realization... solely because they are men.
some lessons in life, are self-imposed and could have been uncalled for, yet, the fear is so much, that taking one step can feel like unbearable move.
things in a hang up like this, do not result in bonding or healing for that matter because of all this negative feelings from before.
makes sense, i hope.
Re: terrifying disappointments as lessons in life
Men and women have their way of expressing love and affection for their significant others. One cannot label crying as an expression of positive emotions. Men do a lot to show love for their family, like get a job, get a roof, food and other necessitates of life. Just because they fail or do not cry at the end of the day does not mean they are not aware of their emotions and responsibilities.
Re: terrifying disappointments as lessons in life
men basically "learn" not to cry. its not like male babies come into this world with a tough expression on their face...they cry too and are just as vulnerable. they just learn while growing up that its not in accordance with their gender to cry. assuming that women cry over every little thing and assuming that men who cry are somehow less manly hurt both genders equally and it further isolates them from each other. when you stereotype like that you will never really get to know your partner since they will be emotionally estranged from you.
Re: terrifying disappointments as lessons in life
Men who don't cry, often have a hard time going to the loo. If you know some, please give them metamucil for Eid.
Re: terrifying disappointments as lessons in life
Most men do cry but not "infront of everyone" due to certain facts. e.g.
Some men think that crying infront of everyone is a sign of weakness, because than everyone would gather around them and start consoling them and offer their shoulder to cry on.
Alot of times men are expected to console their relatives when everyone else seems to be losing hope. e.g. After a death, when "alot" of women are crying in a loud voice and totally unaware of what they are doing, if men also start crying than who would handle the situation. That is one of the reasons why you would mostly find a woman placing her head on a man's shoulder while crying and not vice versa
Re: terrifying disappointments as lessons in life
what abvout those men who are undecided all of a sudden in their life decisions, as they are stressing on finding weaknesses that are not even there and they want a guarantee on unbelievable things from the future, now.
emotions are not supposed to be played with. showing them is important because sometimes, lateness, becomes a point of dejection.
so just like women, men must be able to indicate true emotions and open up to an idea that is not feeding their stubborn-ness or fearfulness.
men can at times be very unsure of their own wants and needs and their own sense of what will give them peace, as they are burdened with either doubts created within their own minds or into minds by others.
personal relevance, choice, and foreseeable consequences are not a chain in real life.
improvising and doing what one's heart says is not a sin.
it is not at least removed from the inner self.