Okay, so my neighbor asked me if I could babysit everyday for her kids and she is willing to pay me. She works in the early daytime (6 am-3 p.m.) then goes to college. She is a young mother (only 22!) and has a 6 month old,2 year old and 3 year old. I have very little experience with kids so I need lots of help and guidance. I agreed to do it for her because I just quit my job and need to work(or at least till I find a job in my field) and also because she cannot afford daycare. (in our area daycare can be $200-$300 week!!) I feel really bad for her because she used to live with her parents and they kicked her out because they said she wasn’t home most of the time for kids! She actually was making the lives of her kids better by working and getting her degree. On the weekends I see her in the front yard of our apartment building playing with her kids. Sometimes she is studying on the porch but for the most time she is with them actively. She recently kicked her boyfriend out of the apartment because she found out he cheated on her! I know I cannot judge her but it is the American culture to have sex early these days and sometimes get pregnant because the couple never planned properly for protection or rather they were not thinking about it all as they were caught up “in the moment”. Okay, with all that aside, I need tips and suggestions on caring for little ones. I have babysat a few times for a five and 6 year old so sitting for younger ones may pose as a challenge as I have no experience with that age group. I have taken CPR and first aid so I can be there if anything happens God forbid. I printed out some coloring sheets for the 3 year (ABCS,NUMBERS,Sesame Street). As for the 6 month old, I see she already has toys and I plan on keeping her on the living room floor with her toys and being in the same room. I took care of them already one day and it was a nightmare. I told the 3 year old not to leave the living room and to color only on the paper. The 2 year old does not talk much and is still learning and kept leaving the room so I had to run to the kithcen or bedroom to retrieve him but then got scared of leaving the others alone,even for a second, in the living room. The 3 year old interacted well with me while the 6 month old cried alot. I think she is teething as she keeps putting her finger in her mouth and biting hard on toys. Is there anything I need to know about each age group and what can I do to get the 2 year old to stay in the living room? Actually he is still 1 and will turn 2 in 2 weeks. Any help would make it easier for me. THANKS!!
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
OMG that sounds tough. Let me think about this.
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
Tomorrow I will read to the kids as I got a few books from the library. I hope this keeps their attention. I tried singing songs with them and the baby just looked at us while the 3 year old loved it. As for the 1 and a 1/2 year old, he walked around the room and kept leaving. He kept going to the back of the kitchen where I could not see him. He likes to pull on things. There was a colorful item on the counter he kept pulling and it scared me. I went to the kitchen and the item was an apron and on top of it were several bowls! This is so not my field but this young lady already asked everyone she knows and no one was willing to do it. (even those who don't work!) When she hired me she hugged me and was almost teary eyed. I can understand with all that happened to her. Maybe I am a sucker for helping those in need but she really needed help and while I am not working professionally, why not help her? she's only a few doors down and less than a minute walk. I am sure anyone else here would have done the same. And who knows,perhaps this will give me good practice for when I have my own little ones? hehehe
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
Okay I see people are busy learning about the news of Bin Laden as I am watching it on tv now or people can't digest everything I have written and described. So I will say specifically what help I am looking for from preschool/daycare teachers and experienced parents. I need to know how to control the almost two year old. He keeps going to the back of the room or other parts of the house. He likes to be left alone for the most part but I cannot allow him to leave the room. His mother said none of the children can touch the walls or put their feet on it and he sometimes likes to do that. I know I cannot put him in time out because he is too young and cannot think so therefore he does not know what he is doing is wrong. Also, he likes to climb the sofas and that is a no no. Common sense of course but his Mom emphasized he could not be on the sofa for even a second and I agree. I try not to grab him as that will just end up in him yelling and crying. I was doing that at first but soon learned it didn't work. When he leaves the room I go close to him and call his name and gesture for him to come. At first it did not work as well but as the day progressed he learned that if I was kind to him and did not touch him he would listen to me and come back on his own. The 3 year old loves to stand on the toys and run around the room which I can also not allow. His Mother cannot afford to easily replace his toys and he risks breaking it by standing on it. I have told him several times not to do so and decided to start using time out. (I learned it from that Nanny show on tv with Jo) and he kept getting up but I remembered to keep putting him back until he sat there for the whole 3 minutes. At the end of the day I was sweating and happy to leave. The baby girl is so cute and well adjusted for the most part(she is used to me being around her as I have known her since she was born) but only cried a bit in the beginning. I feel it was due to teething. As for the boys, they have not interacted much with me so the almost 2 year old does not respect me yet nor does his older brother. He kept saying "sorry, I won't do again" when I tried putting him in time out but I kept at it. InshAllah as I grown to learn more about these kids I will do better. Right now I am scared about tomorrow but hopeful it will go okay. Pray for me!!!
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
I am expecting my second child soon and I am kind of scared. I already have a 2 year old who is a handful. I have taken care of my son and my niece who is older than my son but since i knew what my niece was interested in and what would calm her, I was able to handle it.
My son is 2 and he does not sit at one place and wants to grab everything and tries to be very independent so I can understand the 2 year old's behaviour.
But I think what you or that woman need is a baby gate. Going into the kitchen unattended and with all that curiosity the kids have, he can hurt himself. Baby gate will atleast stop him from going in there without supervision or atleast make him understand that kitchen is off limits.
Poems, books, trucks, and tricycle is what entertains my son. He also likes utensils and kitchen stuff can also keep him busy where he pretends to cook something. I give him plastic spoons and pots and he plays with them.
Kids this age get bored really quickly so I have to read him couple of books one after the other. I let him chose which one to read. Asking the kids what they want to do will help.
I understand not standing on the toys but not compeletely underatnd why the kid cannot get on the sofa !!! My son likes to sit with me on sofa and sometimes he lies down on it and likes reading his books on sofa.
It takes time and I think a lot of perseverance to teach the kids that something they are doing is not the right thing to do.
You should also try for the 3 and 2 year old to get engaged in the same play together so that they can entertain themselves.
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
Thanks Sarad! I just came back from a long day with those kids and it was very hard but fun at times too. The older kid still steps on the toys and I continue to give him time outs but by the end of the day he stopped it. As for the gate idea, it is a very good idea but does not work for this small apartment. The kitchen and the living room are seperated in such a way by a wall that a gate can not be put there. It is too wide of a gap. Yes, the kid has toys but his mom said to not let him play with it all day? Can you believe that. He is only one and a half years old. He cannot control himself or even think for himself. The mother told me to teach the kids Abcs via flashcards and read books and keep play time to no more than half an hour. I also put the kids for a one hour nap. You are very right that it takes a lot of perseverance to teach the kids right from wrong. With time, they will learn it. The older kid reminded his little brother there was no running which I thought was cute but at the same time he has learned its something you don't do. In due time, things will get much better. It was only my third day today.
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
I think you are doing great for someone who suddenly started baby sitting 3 kids :)
Every parent has their own rules and they want to raise their children with what they think is the best discipline. So whatever the mom thinks or wants !!
Kids learn fast and if you are a loving, gentle or playful person they will relate to you quickly too and will listen to you. But I think you are doing great and best of luck.
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
That's to be expected of kids so young. You should put away things with small parts out of reach so they don't put these in their mouths and choke. E.g keys, batteries etc. Keep small knick knacks out of the way. I can't believe that the mom told you not to let the kid play for more than half an hour. At that age education such as flash cards etc. shouldn't be too long either. Is the mom ok with some TV?
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
I think the key is to figure out their sleeping and eating schedules. And maintaining those. What has the mom told you?
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
Thanks Sarad! I just came back from a long day with those kids and it was very hard but fun at times too. The older kid still steps on the toys and I continue to give him time outs but by the end of the day he stopped it. As for the gate idea, it is a very good idea but does not work for this small apartment. The kitchen and the living room are seperated in such a way by a wall that a gate can not be put there. It is too wide of a gap. Yes, the kid has toys but his mom said to not let him play with it all day? Can you believe that. He is only one and a half years old. He cannot control himself or even think for himself. The mother told me to teach the kids Abcs via flashcards and read books and keep play time to no more than half an hour. I also put the kids for a one hour nap. You are very right that it takes a lot of perseverance to teach the kids right from wrong. With time, they will learn it. The older kid reminded his little brother there was no running which I thought was cute but at the same time he has learned its something you don't do. In due time, things will get much better. It was only my third day today.
Also, I wouldn't worry about the playing. Kids learn from play and interaction. They don't need flashcards to learn (tho those are fine too). The point is to provide them with new experiences, challenges, and social interaction.
Honestly if the kid is happy and behaving, eating and sleeping well, you're doing a great job.
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
Also, I wouldn't worry about the playing. Kids learn from play and interaction. They don't need flashcards to learn (tho those are fine too). The point is to provide them with new experiences, challenges, and social interaction.
Honestly if the kid is happy and behaving, eating and sleeping well, you're doing a great job.
Truth!
Sing songs! Make songs up about numbers/letters, flashcards are a bit much for under 3 year olds.
Get the glue/paint out when nittle one is napping and have fun!
Make playdough models (very easy to make at home)
Give them new experiences and TALK to them. Learning through play is in my opinion the best and most beneficial way to learn, especially for under 3 year olds.
Also, read, read, read, read and read some more.
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
Thanks for all your support and help everyone! Yes, I was surprised too when the mother said to not let them play for more than 30-40 minutes. They are just too young to have too much structure. I think that from playing they can learn a lot of things like social skills etc. Like the other day the 3 year old pretended to be at the store and his brother pretended to eat ice cream at the store then ran away to play on the other side of the room. Soo cute. But cuter was when the 3 year old said to his brother "No, Josh,we have to pay for the icecream first before you take it home!" I told his Mom and she said she always says that to the kids when they are at the store so, see, play can be good too. I made number flashcards and the mom gave me ABC cards. The 3 year old somewhat knows his ABC's as his aunt who used to live nearby worked with him on that. And thanks for the suggestions Milly. I just looked online for song ideas and found some good ones. Today I re-read some of the books I had read previously and it worked. They loved it and my sister told me that its okay to re-read books because kids need and love repetition. if they love a book, they'll continue to love it for days and never get tired of it. I think I need to be more patient and allow room for play, especially if I have been working on a certain set of flashcards for more than ten minutes and see the kids getting restless or not interested in it then maybe we can dance to some appropriate music or do other things. Allah give me strength to make it another day! Eastern, hr Mom is strict about her way of doing things. She told me to never turn the tv on for the kids and to keep them engaged. I have no time to put things away when I come as there is only me to watch them. I should tell the mother to be responsible to put things out of the way and reach/sight of the kids. Good idea. Today was good with reading and music but it was still tough. The 1 and a half year old still hates me forcing him to stay in the living room. He has started coming back slowly on his own. The older kid still stands on his toys and I continue to give him time outs. I told the mother and all she does is yell at her son for doing it without giving him a consequence if she hears he did it again. I do give the kids naps and the Mom does want that. I give them a nap after lunch. Lunch is at 11:00 and then I read a few stories and try to make them tired by dancing. Then they go to take a nap. At first I made them all sleep on their moms bed but then thought it would be better to have them on the floor in the living room where I can see them. I took a bunch of chadars and put them on the ground with a blanket and pillow for them and they are fine with that. I put the baby in her playpen for nap and use that time to eat my lunch in the liv room and just wait for them to wake up. How long should they take a nap? I once let the oldest boy nap for 2 hours but my Mom said 1 hour was enough. The baby can sleep upto 3 hours and I think its okay since she is a baby. I have a cousin who took child development classes and I tried calling her last night and she did not answer but I will look to her for help as well. Actually, she is more my moms cousin but more my age..lol..Still,she can help me I hope.
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
^ If they are sleeping, let them sleep! One hour is good, but two is heaven :D.
and I agree with your sis about repetition.
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
Yes you need to be very patient.. ur doing a great job, taking care of 3 kids of different age groups, its not easy!
I'm a kindergarten teacher, i have kids of same age group and its easy to keep them busy in activities, w.sheets etc.
when you have a 3 yr old, 1 yr and 6months OMG i can just imagine how tough it can b for u!
Anyway, try that 6months baby goes to sleep, meanwhile you can keep busy the other 2 in some games as milly said playdough models kids love it!
And you do anything for too long kids get tired, let them watch some tv...
Re: Temperament/caring for 6mo, 2 year old, and 3 year old
Thanks for all the advice! I enjoyed the job while it lasted. It was a pleasure doing it but difficult at times. Last night the lady called and told me she no longer needs me. Bummer. Oh well. She said her sister just moved to the area and will be taking over. Family trumps me and that is fine but now she doesn't have to pay anyone. Good for her. Miss Adorable, your a kindergarten teacher? Thats awesome! I am not sure how you do it all day but it must be very hard yet you must have enough experience to handle them.