Re: Telling your daughter the truth. Would you?
I personally don’t think she should tell her daughter. What the dad did was wrong, but he loves his daughter and it’s natural for him to fear losing her respect. She needs her father as well.
One reason why it may seem as though the daughter is accusing her mother is because she lives with her. That said, she’s going to have more conflicts/resentment toward the parent she lives with because she interacts with that parent more…and i think the tension from that may sometimes transfer over to her perceptions about the divorce. If the only thing that the mother is saying is that “it didn’t work out”…that is rather vague and it might make her think that mom is brushing it off and is therefore hiding things or is guilty. The mom can discuss the matter with the dad and they both can decide how to approach this. Both parents can then discuss it with the daughter at the same time/place…so everyone is on the same page and there’s more cohesiveness n less confusion. That way if the daughter does indeed blame/accuse mom…the dad can clear/smooth that out as well.