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*Originally posted by mehroo: *
ummm ...i dont think it is easy and a nice idea coz they are enagaged and families are involved too .
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So what if their enagaged and familes are involved, does that make it ok to live a unhappy life?? GOSH, HELL NO!
If she has no interest in him, and you are all telling her it might change, God it wont change, it will only get worst.
Its better to finish with it now, then to get married then find out later then end up in divorce.
Baji I wish I could help you…
On one hand he could totally be an insensitive arse
on the other, he just may be very conservative, and things will be better after marriage.
But I don’t know…I am really sorry 
If you are truly not happy though, after it all, don’t get married just b/c everyone else wants you to.
DD becareful. You really don't want to get into something you will regret for the rest of your life. If he says he cannot change, chances are he won't! Dont marry him just for the sake of getting married. A friend of mine recently broke out of what was almost an engagement and that is why she was getting married...for the sake of it. She didn't even like the guy. She hoped she would get to like him and that he would grow on her. She didn't find him physically attractive or personality-wise. He basically defied everything she idealised. Too shallow and pretentious for her taste. Yet for the sake of family and to alleviate tension she went ahead with it. Because it was an arranged deal and she had no idea how to break it off or how to tell her parents taht she wasn't happy with it. And then one day she just gathered the courage and told her parents how unhappy she was with the whole thing. And aunty called the losers up and brought an end to it. Never compromise more than your fair share and never sell your self short. You are worth someone who loves you and pays you the attention you deserve.
hmmmm…DD…
yaara…
i’ll say two things to u…and some of it might not be what u wana hear but if u were my own sis or cousin or close friend here is what i would have said to u…
marriage is compromise…try to get used to his personality and concentrate on his positive side…all human beings have pluses and minuses…nobody u will find will be just perfect, maybe someone will be perfect in the beginning but faults will arise…believe me i have seen some love marriages and how they turn out…no two human beings can not live peacefully if they really commit themselves to living peacefullly together…
u shud just concentrate on making ur own thinking positive rather than seeing the faults in his behaviour…
i’ve been living with roommates for almost the past 5 yrs and there is one thing i have really learnt abt living with others…a lot of times its not abt what the other person is doing but abt making urself less irritable and more tolerant…if u want to pick faults and get annoyed u can pick a million things to get annoyed abt…but if u wanna just ignore the faults for the sake of peace, u can…though yeh its hecka difficult…but a relationship has different moments all the time…sometimes theres highs sometimes lows…
and i’ll play the devil’s advocate here just for the heck of it…it seems to me that u mighttttt be entering the marriage with a lil bit of baggage and misgivings just coz its arranged and the guy is not the one u always imagined ur husband to be…so its causing some bitterness to u…is it so yaara? i might be completely off tho so plz dont mind if i am
if u really do not like the guy, can’t stand him, already have all this negative emotions abt him…u r engaged to him and engagement is a BIG thing…ur families r involved and everyone knows…its a big thing yes…but u r not married to him, till the moment the NIKAH is not done, u can still change ur mind…
so talk to ppl, for ex ur sis who talks to him what does she think of him? pray istakhara, think abt it coolly, communicate with him as much as u can, and if something in ur heart still screams NO then forget it…u r only 21 and inshallah theres no kami of rishtay for u…
i’ll also say dont worry so much yara or take things too seriously…even tho its the bigest decision in ur life…take it easy and have a more laid back attitude abt this…u;ve been thru a lot recently, ur grandmother, Allah unhein jannat naseeb karay…ur brother being dificult…and before that ur college situation…when going thru such huge things n life u tend to sometimes become negative and more emotional and try to find faults in others…i know for sure that i do…so take it easy 
try to pray istakhara for guidance from Allah as well and keep a peaceful and relaxed mind…
best of luck sis my prayers r w/ u inshallah behtri ho gi tumharay lyay