Teaching manners & ethics to children

parents skills can never be adequate, unless parents can speak to their children about everything - violence and sexual interaction related topics are always difficult to get around and teach children about the wrongs on these topics.

it ideally should be understood that teaching children honesty, truthfulness & peaceful behaviors for individual and collective existence, are to be taught to them, a) by examplifying such good behaviors & b) by condemning and working to precent the opposite from occuring among other people.

from very young age of 3 onwards, children clearly know that they can say yes or say no to things that happen around them by other children or adults or what may happen to them directly.

what can parents do to ensure that their child/ren are behaving good and ethical.

teaching children not to destroy life in animals and plants is the first thing, then speaking to them about not hurting feelings of people or children their own age, in specific scenarios like on play grounds or when visiting others, can be the next step in showing children that they need to behave good for their own safety and acceptance by other peaceful and well mannered families and individuals.

if children ask about violence or sexual behaviors, which they may have picked on, when parents are not around, then the best thing could be to first listen in the childrens’ words and tone of voice how they feel about something they saw or heard about.

educating young children about the cultural or faith based values can come next. but first validating children’s own concerns regarding violence and sex has to be managed.

what are the ways, young parents in their 20s and 30s can teach their children about the topics mentioned. share.

Re: Teaching manners & ethics to children

First of all,** ACTIONS** speak louder than words. Often times children are shocked when they find their parents actions contradicting their lectures. It creates confusion and resentment. So, if parents are going to teach their kids about manners and ethics, they also need to follow their own words. For example, it's FUTILE to lecture your child on saying "please" and "thank you" when you never do it yourself. Anybody can preach, but very few can practice what they preach.

Secondly, there needs to be consistency. As a parent you can't follow your values one day and not follow them the next. And you can't allow your kids to break a rule one day and expect your kids to follow the same rule the next time. You can't punish your kid for breaking a rule one day and not do anything about it in the future. Consistency in rules, VALUES, and expectations creates emphasis and solidarity.

There will ALWAYS be negative exposure. Kids will ALWAYS be exposed to negative images in the media and situations with peers in and out of school. Parents can't shield them from everything. But what they can do is to establish regular communication with their children, expose them to positive situations, and create an Islamic environment at home. And Islam is not just limited to praying five times a day and wearing a hijab. It also teaches us how to conduct ourselves in life and everyday situations. As far as communication is concerned, it's good to ask children what they already know about an issue and how they feel about it.....and then proceed to guide them.