I have a neighbour whos kid is thinnest, poorest in sports on the block yet is master manipulator.
How can i each my kids to outwit him?
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
What does one being thinnest and poorest in sports have to do with someone being a good/bad manipulator?
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
Icon, i think it all comes down to confidence in self. Your guy may have been picked on and is now averse to having attention brought upin his little self. Just a thought without knowing the details and types of things that go on.
I can give a recent example ... happened in my very own home lol...
Boys each had a notebook and there was a package of 30 (washable) markers on the table. Middle guy loves BLUE so he took all the pens that were shades of blue. Youngest had a FIT. So I intervened and explained to them that you use ONE at a TIME then put it back in the middle yadayada. They got it and went back to coloring nicely. But youngest guy, he was pissed now. So as he's coloring furiously, he's mumbling "I'm making a BLUE ANGRY MEAN MONSTER. I will put him on YOUR bed binky. He will scare you and eat you".
Ok so thats bad - creative tho, lets give credit where its due. "Binky" though is smart enough to completely ignore the whole thing and of course little guy eventually loses interest and does not follow thru in hanging this monter picture up by "binky's" bed. So binky sneaks in, crumples the mean monster picture and stuffs it into the garbage.
Both of them were smart, both knew how to get at the other....
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
wow! such a cute/funny story! How old r they?
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
:) thx! The middle guy is 5 and little guy is 3
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
thanks for sharing the story Mamaof3. really true for kids that age when they are trying to learn social rules of playing and sharing.
Iconoclast, kids dont need to learn chalaki to gain space in their corner of the world.
yes, if you child gets hurt by someone, then based on the severity of emotional or physical hurt, a child can be trained to ask for help and revolt back in a manner that will establish the clear bounderies for interaction for future encounters.
if anything, children need to be taught how to fail chalaki of others without being violent themselves or using mean spirited ways to spite back at others.
best,
Dushwari
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
^ Thank you maddy.
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
you got the answer right there… make YOUR kids the thinnest and poorest in sports… in few months your kids will outwit him easily. 
PS: by the way, why you want your kids to be manipulative!
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
PS: by the way, why you want your kids to be manipulative!
Future in politics?
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
hmmm there is no need to learn kids to be manipulative! let them learn and grow naturally!
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
I don't want my kids to be manipulative, but i don't want them to be manipulated by others. There isn't much of an issue here, but its just that i see that this kid never shares his things with others but can talk others into doing it. Tries to talk my kids into doing things that i have prohibited them to do etc
Very cute story Mama, thanx for sharing, your kids are intelligent.
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
I don't know i'm just brainfarting here.
I feel sometimes wit can be the same thing as being 'aware' or being 'streetwise'. Usually children who are protected way too much by their parents (dont do this, dont play with those kids, dont do that, dont eat food from outside etc etc) end up being too depandent on their parents for everything including talking and responding on their behalf.
I'm the youngest of six and by the time i was five or six years old my parents had achieved a decent very comfortable almost posh lifestyle, as opposed to my elder sibs who had to go through some tough times when they were growing up. So compared to my elder sibs i was always the 'mummy daddy' kid since i always got everything made and i didnt have to do much fishing for myself. And that trend continued up until class 5-6ish.
Then some things happened and due to circumstances i started taking karachi's public transit to school and back. That sort of landed me with other kids in my class that people would call 'bad company' (although i still strongly maintain they were just misunderstood). Now i did get blacklisted everywhere like friends, school, teachers, people in general started stamping me the as the chichora crowd. And it was somewhat like that till class 11-12. It was during that time though that i felt i finally learnt how to talk to people, how to talk for myself. How to think quick on my toes, you know the typical Saddar influence. It also helped me build a decent amount of confidence or maybe even just the minerals that you need sometimes to stand up to a bully or any other difficult situation.
Please dont take from my story and get your kid to hang with the tough crowd :p but i think you can get an idea that if you're being too protective maybe you should loosen your grip a bit. Go out with your kid more often. Give him/her more chances to observe you interacting with people or people interacting in general. Something like that.
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
i kno exactly how u feel.. my kids have these desi kid friends.. so teeny meenay , but baatain uffff like they are the kings of all.. i think some kids are jsut born with that,
mine are so bholay 
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
well thr is nuthin wrong if ure kids r bolay, tho i always think that when i have kids, IF i ever have kids that, apart 4rm teaching the values and morals of life, and wanting them to b good human beings, I wud like them to be slightly chalak, mainly 4 teh purposes that those who arent chalak in this world r walked all over by others:( shariifoon ka tho zamana hi nahin raha 
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
everyone think that their kids are bholey
You ask the parents of those kids (your kids’s friends) and they will tell you how bholey they are 
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
Yesterday this kid was constantly teasing Nadia while she was playing with her friends finally she had enough and she gave him a beating.
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
I have a neighbour whos kid is thinnest, poorest in sports on the block yet is master manipulator.
How can i each my kids to outwit him?
Thats natural icon bhai, I know two kids (brothers), and one of them is extremely smart but physically hes nothing compared to the other one, but then again the other one's brainspan is probably suited to being a football player... One of them is an intellectual, the other one a sportsman. Nature's way of balancing things.
The kid you mentioned, maybe some kids might not be able to outwit him, but they can win a fist fight with him lol...
Re: Teaching Kids Chalaki
aaj kul k bachay paidaish sey pehley sey he chalaak hotey hain....
:(