What do you say in urdu to those who are mourning their deceased when you go for taziyat ?
"bohat afsos hua"
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Let me write some for you..
"Acha age kitni thi?
Bemaar they?
Kab se Bemaar they?
Kia hua?
Doctor ne reason kya batai?
Bachay kitnay hain?
Bohat Afsos hua..
Allah Jannat main jaga de
Allah aapko sabar de
Jo qismat main likha ho woh to ho k rehta hai
Allah ne bula liya
Inna Lillah Wa Inna Alehyi Rajioon
etc etc..
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@NomiCA has put it nicely. I think this is a key social skill. Best time to learn it is early on in life. I've expressed condolences to non-desis in similar fashion and they highly appreciated it later. If we are genuine, those words become all the more comforting.
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Man, thats the toughest thing to do in any language. I remember growing up in Pakistan when I heard about one of the neighbors passed away whose son was my friend too, I couldnt gather myself to get out and say anything.
Later, Zindagi ne aisa rakh rakh ke thappad lagaya, achi tarah lag pata gya.
so here it goes:
Boht sakht afsos hwa sun ke.
ALLAH jannat naseeb karay aur aap sab ko sabar de.
Mere laeq koi khidmat ho to please zarur batayyega.
For a hesitant, introvert like me, the shorter the better. I know its a part of life but i just hope we never get to do taziyat to anyone.
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Yeah for me its always toughest to do! But i never hesitate to give a call or meet
i always say like this bhut afsos huwa, Allah ney sab kay janay ka wakt likha hay itni hee zindagi thi Allah unko jannat ul firdaws mein jaga dey or maghfarat farmaye ameen ap apny lye sabar ki dua karein
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Boht afsos huva ALLAH ke marze han ALLAH Raham kry baki...
Sorry to hear about your loss. May his/her memory be a blessing to you all. While we mourn his/her loss, we should also celebrate his/her life so it may provide comfort to us all. So lets all remember his/her moments that put a smile our faces.
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. اللە ان کی مغفرت فرما ٴےاور ان کی مشکلیں آسان فرماےٴ آمین
Depends
If it was a sudden death then questions are inappropriate as already in shock
But if long illness then it's ok to ask and talk
Usually say if there is any need am available just be silent and read surahs for the departed departed souls
But won't eat / drink from there unlike the cultural trend
Peace @LP,
The best Sunnah is the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad 
Here is what we can read:-
**“The Book of Prayer (Funerals) Hadith No. 2169 of Sahih Muslim.”
Umm Salama reported: The Messenger of Allah came to Abu Salama (as he died). His eyes were fixedly open. He closed them, and then said: When the soul is taken away the sight follows it. Some of the people of his family wept and wailed. So he said: Do not supplicate for yourselves anything but good, for angels say" Amen" to what you say. He then said: O Allah, forgive Abu Salama, raise his degree among those who are rightly guided, grant him a successor in his descendants who remain. Forgive us and him, O Lord of the Universe, and make his grave spacious, and grant him light in it.
(اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لأَبِي سَلَمَةَ وَارْفَعْ دَرَجَتَهُ فِي الْمَهْدِيِّينَ وَاخْلُفْهُ فِي عَقِبِهِ فِي الْغَابِرِينَ وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلَهُ يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ وَافْسَحْ لَهُ فِي قَبْرِهِ . وَنَوِّرْ لَهُ فِيهِ ").**
Kindly Note:
1- A person may supplicate for him/herself, for deceased and for his/her family members.
2- A person may talk good about the deceased person, because the angels say “Ameen”.
3- I highlighted name “Abu Salama” in blue. While making supplication, it is permissible to use name of deceased person.
Same supplication may be said in Urdu.