Taray baghar

Arts & Culture Poetry ( Intikhaab & Sho'ra-e-Gupshup)
1

Kah tu diya tha ka
Taray baghar behi hum jee lain gay
Akhri mulaqat par behi jhoot bola
Tu nahi hai magar ya sach
Maray sath hai
Ka taray baghar jee nahi saktay

by: Dilsay

2

it's very nice...just a lil change can make it even better..:) I think!

3

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Swera: *
it's very nice...just a lil change can make it even better..:) I think!
[/QUOTE]

thanks

and what change it could be make that change and lets ask the members which one is good

4

Jeetay raho :)

5

beautiful:k:

6

hummm

7

:k:

8

Re: Taray baghar

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dilsay: *
Kah tu diya tha ka
Taray baghar behi hum jee lain gay
Akhri mulaqat par behi jhoot bola
Tu nahi hai magar ya sach
Maray sath hai
Ka taray baghar jee nahi saktay

by: Dilsay
[/QUOTE]

nice

9

:flower1:

10

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dilsay: *

thanks

and what change it could be make that change and lets ask the members which one is good
[/QUOTE]

U r welcome....
&
Do u want me to make changes? lakin yai to ap ko hi pata hai na kai ap nai kiya mind maiN rakh kai likhi..

should I?

11

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Swera: *

U r welcome....
&
Do u want me to make changes? lakin yai to ap ko hi pata hai na kai ap nai kiya mind maiN rakh kai likhi..

should I?
[/QUOTE]

yes u can

12

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dilsay: *

yes u can
[/QUOTE]

Sorry disay, I was a lil busy All I could think is this, didn’t make changes in ur poem, caz it’s nice...just wrote this right now, I know there r mistakes, but cpz u said , so I try to write.
You write much better then me, so u can fix this...:)

Keh to diya tha kai jee laiN gai terai bin
Yai zehar pee laiN gai magar tujj sai kooch na kahaiN gai
Milai thai jaab akhiri baar
to yahi kaha tha tujj sai sanam
Magar ya dill hi to janta tha or Khuda
sach kitna hai or jhoot kitna.....
Tu nahiN hai
haaN sach hai maiN jee to raha hooN
magar su’n
teri yaad ka sahara hai isi liyai to jee raha hooN!!!

13

Re: Taray baghar

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dilsay: *
Kah tu diya tha ka
Taray baghar behi hum jee lain gay
Akhri mulaqat par behi jhoot bola
Tu nahi hai magar ya sach
Maray sath hai
Ka taray baghar jee nahi saktay

by: Dilsay
[/QUOTE]

dilsay bhai......its first time i have visited shorba e gupshup..........and i like ur poetry ...keep it up u guys....kia pata koi in main say faiz jaisa ho jae..........

14

bohut khoob....

15

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Capricorn: *
Jeetay raho :)
[/QUOTE]

Thanks alot

16

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Swera: *

Sorry disay, I was a lil busy All I could think is this, didn’t make changes in ur poem, caz it’s nice...just wrote this right now, I know there r mistakes, but cpz u said , so I try to write.
You write much better then me, so u can fix this...:)

Keh to diya tha kai jee laiN gai terai bin
Yai zehar pee laiN gai magar tujj sai kooch na kahaiN gai
Milai thai jaab akhiri baar
to yahi kaha tha tujj sai sanam
Magar ya dill hi to janta tha or Khuda
sach kitna hai or jhoot kitna.....
Tu nahiN hai
haaN sach hai maiN jee to raha hooN
magar su’n
teri yaad ka sahara hai isi liyai to jee raha hooN!!!
[/QUOTE]

thanks alot for your efforts... really appreciated

17

Re: Re: Taray baghar

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by bao bihari: *

dilsay bhai......its first time i have visited *shorba e gupshup * ..........and i like ur poetry ...keep it up u guys....kia pata koi in main say faiz jaisa ho jae..........
[/QUOTE]

:rotfl"

18

Re: Re: Re: Taray baghar

:mad: