I don't think that even now in Pakistan a girl in most cases would go to a gyne on her own and get on the pill esp in an arranged marriage*. I have heard most potential grooms talk about not having kids initially but then those plans go up in the air once they hear ammi say they want grand kids within the year. You can ask him if he is 100% sure that he doesn't want kids before bringing up the topic of birth control. *
Regarding the second topic, Don't even go there.
I've heard that too. From people in my OWN family back home. Don't risk it. And it's your body and you're 50% responsible for the kid that you'd be bringing into the world so you should have a say.
OP, if you're ok with getting pregnant in the first year of marriage you don't need to bother finding out about contraception.. Looking around you it should be clear that it's very very common for newlywed couples not using contraception to end up having a baby quickly (within a year and a half or so)..
That poster earlier who said wait and don't do anything made it sound as though contraception is unIslamic.. There's nothing wrong with waiting if that's what you both want..
Discuss it only if you yourself are against the idea of having a baby (or two) in the first year (or two). If you have no problem with it, just let it be.
DON'T. Just don't talk about physical intimacy to a man who is not yet your husband. Even if he starts such a topic, be up front and tell him - in clear but not harsh words - that you don't consider it appropriate before Nikah. Take my word: talking and planning beforehand in this regard just can't do any good.
I know a girl who has 3 kids in the first two years (twins ahoy) of her marriage all because she kept on waiting for a clue about how to go about this birth control business. So.... Do take the initiative to at least prepare yourself if you're worried about getting stuck in a situation like that. Don't just leave it on the guy.
I know a girl who has 3 kids in the first two years (twins ahoy) of her marriage all because she kept on waiting for a clue about how to go about this birth control business. So.... Do take the initiative to at least prepare yourself if you're worried about getting stuck in a situation like that. Don't just leave it on the guy.
Yep. My friend saved herself because some of our friends left condoms in their room. She had left it up to the guy to deal with contraception and ...it never happened. Had they not left that for them there, I'm not sure what she would've done.
Mirch bahi she is of shy nature and you sir recommending kamasutra?
Kya yeh khula tazaad nahi...
Tazad nahi sound advise hay. You are giving her same advise but asking to turn the age gate off. This way she will see what I did not recommend but you are recommending.
^ I second that… further imo u don’t have to go to any gynae or take any pill kinda stuff right before marriage.. Its very rare getting pregnant just the day u married.. U can discuss about contraception thing once he become ur husband..don’t b stressful abt it.. Good luck
Might not be the night of marriage (but like soconfused said it really isn’t that uncommon anyway) but what about the following days when the husband is excited and horny? Anyone who thinks they can just chance it thru the first few days/weeks of the marriage and honeymoon period is kidding themselves.. The high number of our brides having babies in the first year or so should make it obvious to anyone who thinks otherwise about the consequences of not bothering with contraception quickly..
OP, you dont have to go into any details about the intimacy if you don’t want to. but if you are concerned about the children aspect of it, you definitely should bring it up.
just keep it casual and bring up something like, “how many kids do you want to have?” after that you can ask “when do you want to have them/are you ready for it now?” and just go from there.. for example, if he says i am ready now, then you know to not prevent it beforehand (if that is also what you want) .. however, if there are differences in your way of thinking, it will open the doors for communication
Helo all m soo thankful for the time all of u hav taken out n replied all replies were very helpful.i did talk to him abt the stuff. For future brides n all here is how i did it. I askd him that i need to talk to u abt smthng but u hav to promise nt to make me feel uncomfortable n he was a lil surprized n was like sure i wont u cn say anythng n then i was like u know how u said that no babies fr smtime so wat r we going to do abt it. N he was like real mature n all was like u know there is a pill n there r barrier methods n its ur choice watever u wanna do.decide n tell me.then he told me that he was gonna manage wid barrier method after wedding evn if i hadnt askd. He was saying m not stupid i had it in mind Then i started being all naraz ghusaa wid him that y did i had to start the topic he shd hav done that. His reply was like u r so shy so i dint know wat to say at this pt so i stayed quiet. Then he was like see did i make u feel uncomfortable i was like no thnx fr that n thats it
N as fr the above all ppl saying pregnancy takes time it dznt. I hav worked in gynecology fr a while girls used to cm who got pregnant on wedding night most grls. Wid arranged wedding desi grls n all so
further imo u don’t have to go to any gynae or take any pill kinda stuff right before marriage.. Its very rare getting pregnant just the day u married.. U can discuss about contraception thing once he become ur husband..don’t b stressful abt it.. Good luck 