**Title: **THE TALKING PARROT
Once a man went to a pet shop to buy a talking parrot. He saw a parrot with a red string tied to one of his legs and a blue one to the other. He asks the shopkeeper, ‘What are these strings for?’ The shopkeeper replies, ‘If you pull the red string, the parrot speaks French and if you pull the blue one he speaks English!’ The man asks,‘Wow! And what if I pull both the strings?’ The parrot screams from the cage, ‘I’ll fall down, stupid!’
**Title: **DEEP PAIN
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, ‘Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?’ The first man approached him and said, ‘Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?’ The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, ‘My wife’s first husband.’