Taking The Husband's Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

i found it very interesting and different so sharing it with u all

By Asma bint Shameem

In our eagerness to copy the West, we Muslims have adopted many of their practices which have no basis in the Sharee’ah. And among them is the practice of a woman changing her family name to that of her husband after she gets married.
The fact is that Islam does not require woman to change her name at marriage and there is nothing in the Sunnah to indicate that a woman should take her husband’s name after she gets married.
Actually, the Ulama tell us that this is an innovated practice that is not approved of in Islaam.
Now, I know some people will say…“ Oh, come on…What is the big deal?!!”
So read on and you will know what I mean….

The wives of the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) are the Mothers of the Believers, and the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam), is the noblest of people and the best example. And yet when we look at their example, we will realize that when the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) married any of his wives, NOT ONE of them took his name. On the contrary, each one of them kept her father’s name even if her father was a kaafir. Similarly, the wives of the Sahaabah and those who came after them did not change their names.
Did you ever think why they didn’t do that?
Surely, if it was a good thing, the wives of the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) would have done it and the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) would himself have instructed it and encouraged them to do it.
That is because it is Allaah’s order to keep your father’s name as an indication of your lineage.

*** “Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah…” ***[al-Ahzaab 33:5].
And the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “*Whoever calls himself by other than his father’s *
*name, will be cursed by Allaah, the angels and all the people.” *(Ibn Maajah -Saheeh by al-Albaani).

And he (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) also said:

  • “Whoever knowingly claims to belong to anyone other than his father, Paradise will be denied him.”* (Ahmad, al-Bukhaari, Muslim).

Now some might argue….“But the woman is not claiming that her father is someone else. She is just honoring her husband or she doesn’t mean it that way. She just wants to belong to her husband out of love for him.”

To those people I say….
If it was a matter of honor to have the husbands name attached to the wife’s, wouldn’t our Ummahaat have done that??

Isn’t it the biggest honor in the WORLD to have the name of the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) attached to yours?? And yet the wives of the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) didn’t do that.
Ever wonder why??

And if it was a matter of expressing love for the husband, no relationship between a husband and wife on the face of this earth was better than the relationship between the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) and his wives. And yet none of the Mothers of the Believers expressed their love for the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) by changing their last names.
It doesn’t make any sense
The last name is an indication of the father of the person and represents the person’s lineage.
Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd said: “This is one of the beauties of Sharee’ah, because calling a person by his father’s name is more appropriate for knowing who is who and telling people apart…..” (Tasmiyat al-Mawlood, 30, 31).
Originally, the woman is ‘the Daughter of So and so’, and NOT ‘the wife of So and so’. Since there is no blood relationship between the husband and wife, how can she take his last name as if she is part of the same lineage?

And surely, she is not claiming that he is her father!!!
Also what happens if she gets divorced, or her husband dies, and she marries another man? Will she keep changing her surname every time she marries another man?
In addition to this, there are rulings attached to the woman being named after her father, which have to do with her inheritance, spending and who is her mahram, etc. Taking her husband’s last name overlooks all that.

Also, if you think about it, the husband is named after his own father, and what does she have to do with the lineage of her husband’s father? This goes against common sense and true facts.
Besides, the husband has nothing that makes him better than his wife’s father. So why should she give up her father’s name and take her husband’s last name??
And why does the man get to keep his father’s name and not the woman??!!
It just doesn’t make any sense.
Sheikh Salih Al-Munajjid says:
“A woman changing her family name to that of her husband after she gets married is Haraam and is not allowed in Sharee’ah, because it is not permissible for anyone to claim to belong to anyone other than his or her father…… And Allaah knows best.” (www.islamqa.com)
Not only is it so in this world, but, we will also be called by our father‘s name in the Hereafter as well. The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“On the Day of Resurrection, each betrayer will have a banner raised beside him, and it will be said, this is the betrayer of So and so, the son of So and so.” (Bukhaari, Muslim).

So, all you single females out there, don’t be in such a hurry to change your maiden name after you get married. And those of you who have already done that, it is never too late. Take back your maiden name and reclaim your identity. It is part of the Sharee’ah.

Re: Taking The Husband’s Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

HUsband’s Name After Marriage

Putting HUSBAND's name after wife's name after marraige---is also not based on Shariah !

Re: Taking The Husband's Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

It isn't prohibited anywhere either.

Stop dwelling on irrelevant stuff. This is a matter between a husband and wife and their mutual understanding.

Re: Taking The Husband's Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

For this reason my wife still maintains her family name ... sort of ... lets say established surname.

Re: Taking The Husband’s Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

and whoever claimed that it was “religious” thing to do? :konfused:

Re: Taking The Husband's Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

I think its another example of how Arabian culture is being passed on as the only Islamic way. Naming conventions vary widely in the World. In Arab cultures, full names reflect lineage or the kuniyat is used (Asma Bint Shameem or Um-e-Kulsoom). In China, family name is actually the first name. In many areas of Punjab, there is really no concept of a family name (Babar Amjad's son is named Waqas Babar). In Western cultures, many times women will hyphenate their names to keep both their maiden name and the married name. There is no one way of doing it, and there is no Islamic or non-Islamic way of doing it either. Islam is beyond just one culture.

I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman keeping her maiden name (father's name) after marriage. Its perfectly fine, and seems very Islamic too. At the same time, I don't think there is any problem if a woman takes on her husband's family name either. All the reasoning in the first post aside, by taking on her husband's name, a woman is not trying to hide her lineage or take credit away from her dad. Nor is she trying to make her husband into her father (gosh! where did the writer get such insane ideas). The whole reasoning of blood relationship is irrelavent and so is the reasoning that on Day of Qiyamah a person is called by the name of his/her father. True enough, but are we saying that if a woman takes on her husband's family name after marriage, suddenly on the Day of Qiyamah, the angels will not be able to trace her into their database. Sheesh!!

Some times I fear our scholars get too embroiled in the minutae and say good bye to common sense by losing focus from the big picture. This kinda demonstrates a tendency to be lakeer ke fakeer.

Peace arjay

I think your jest has gone over many heads ...

Peace Faisal

I read your post and cannot for the life of me equate your conclusions from the threads opening post. Please explain where you got the idea that "the angels will not be able to trace her into their database" Also you will notice that the thread opener has provided a rational basis for not changing the surname i.e. out of honour for the husband, or in the case of multiple divorce/widow states ... a woman can potentially have many husbands but can only have one father, or due to the fact that the best women i.e. the wives of Rasulullah never did so either.

However, I agree that these things talked about in this day and age is pointless, because such things will fall as we can see on deaf ears. The deaf ears are a result of our condition which needs more fundamental rejuvenation than fringe topics such as 'naming conventions'. These are topics for those who wish to attain excellence not for those who wish to sail by on the bare minimum.

Re: Taking The Husband's Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

^ Thanks psyah for giving up on the current lot. Your post reeks of such arrogance that its probably futile to argue any further. Please attain excellence in "naming conventions" as looking at your last paragraph it appears you think this is the a high class topic worthy for discussion only for those who are far advanced in Islamic fiqh, sort of PhD level thesis subject. :)

Anyway, in the opening post which makes a case that Islamically a woman should not take her husband's name after marriage, the author has inserted the following quote: "Not only is it so in this world, but, we will also be called by our father‘s name in the Hereafter as well." While I am not disputing the quote, and its likely very valid in its own right, help us poor ignorant deaf-eared mortals understand whether a woman taking on her husband's name will impair them from being called by their father's name. At best it was just a fringe and largely irrelevant piece of info inserted just to provide bulk to the article. At worst its a blaspemy on the capabilities of Allah Ta'allah. Na'oz Billah.


Arguments were given, its just that I (gulp!) think they don't pass the test of common sense. While the first reason here is dicey at best, the second is a valid Arab culture, and as I said in my opening post, its perfectly Islamic, I just don't see how this is the only **Islamic way of doing things. Why do we keep super-imposing Arab cultural traits and brand them as the **only Islamic way of doing things?

Peace Faisal

May Allah (SWT) protect us both from arrogance. What I mean about the topic is that people will not appreciate the value in such talk about names, because to them it will seem like a trivial matter. In fact it is, because there are much more important things to worry about. However, albeit relatively trivial when compared to these bigger matters it is a valid Islamic point to consider as you acknowledged and I think we are actually agreeing here, but only for those people who have come to terms with the bigger matters first. What hope is there of convincing a person about names when it proves difficult to convince them about 'fully submitting' the Will of Allah (SWT)?

I'm not learned enough to argue what is an alternative valid Islamic position on names. Until then I will follow the established opinions because I do not want to be held accountable as one who held my own opinion when I knew my knowledge was deficient. That is all I am calling for here ... You may be right ... but it needs support and preferably sanction from a scholarly source.

Re: Taking The Husband's Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

Agreed. On both points. :)

On your second point though, I didn't offer any Islamic ruling. I just raised the question as to why are Arabic cultural norms constantly force-fed to muslims as the only Islamic way of doing things. This is a discussion, not a fatwa producing exercise. Hopefully muslims are not brain-dead that they can not use basic Islamic rulings and apply them in modern times across different cultures. Afterall, we do believe that Islam is a faith for all times and for all cultures around the world, and not restricted to just Arabic speaking bedouins.

there is enough light for the people who want to understand

***“Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah…” ***[al-Ahzaab 33:5].

And the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:

"*Whoever calls himself by other than his father’s *
*name, will be cursed by Allaah, the angels and all the people."
*(Ibn Maajah -Saheeh by al-Albaani).

And he (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) also said:

  • “Whoever knowingly claims to belong to anyone other than his father, Paradise will be denied him.”* (Ahmad, al-Bukhaari, Muslim).

now how can it just be a matter btf husband and wife ?

Re: Taking The Husband's Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

great thread for those that dont know.

Re: Taking The Husband's Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

I don't see what the big deal is, it's more a matter between husband and wife than anything else. I doubt anyone is "forced" into changing/nto changing their name/