I dont know how many more years it will take me to take life seriously. I take things so easily and conveniently without understanding the ground reality effects they may have. If i am at work, i am so careless that i dont understand the gravity of my wrong doing. If i am home, i say or do things in my childishness that may have consequences i dont take serious.
I dont know when i will start accpeting things and accep the seriousness and criticality involved with them. The youngest child of a family probably never really grows up since they are made to feel they are the youngest they act childish and take things that lightly too. I have seen things go wrong due to my carelessness and obliviousness. I have seen girls my age act sophisticated, professionally, sharply and so lady-like. I, on the other hand, fail to accept the seriousness, understand the critical nature of some thing, act mature, act professional.
I am the sort of person who would put on make up sitting on my desk without caring if three other people are staring at me but thats how i am, i dont take things that serious or act that carefully. Although i am aware its not some thing righ ti am doing but i have that dont-care attitude. A friend of mine was unwell and i kept teasing her and irritating her at the hospital like my usual self without realizing how much of a problem it may be for her. I dont know what has done this but i feel i have become ruthless. Even at home, i say so many things that are not mature, responsible or thought-out remarks - i just blurt it all out.
Sorry, I am just venting … I am not liking my behaviour and am unable to change myself to be a little more careful or serious in life.