Taking care of moms

[Deeba1234]

@Niksik

So lately I have been in the company of older widowed moms who are living with their sons. This is the common thought process of most of these ladies:

1. That they miss not having command over the new set up they are in.
2. It doesnt matter how good the son and daughter in law are, they wish they could get their life back where they were in charge and didnt have to adjust.
3. If given a chace, they would rather live alone than in the comfort of their son’s home.

Now these ladies are not that old, they still have lots of energy and want to remain active. However, as they aren’t used to the system around here and cannot drive or speak English, they do feel restricted and have limited options in terms of having a job or being part of a local social network.

Anyways, I understand the feeling as I was trying to put myself in their shoes. It must feel awful to all of a sudden not be the one making decisions on how the home should be run. On top of that, to adjust to a busy home where kids are running around and pretty much the entire house is controlled around the activities of the kids must be boring sometimes. Also, as everyone is busy with their schedules, these grandmas must feel lonely as well.

This is a pretty common scenario in our culture where parents move in with their kids in their older age, and it is especially tough on the the moms. How can we make their experience better given that ever child does try their best but obviously one has to look at a big picture.

Regarding the bit in red I do have sympathy for them but at the same time it really irks me how some women in these situations can live in a country for 30/40 years and not be bothered to learn to speak or read and write English (or whatever language the natives speak) or take driving lessons. Over here in the UK the ‘I can’t be bothered’ attitude seems to be an acutely desi problem, some of these woman don’t want to make any effort or adjustment at all which to me seems quite arrogant. We all have to learn to adjust to our surroundings.

Oh, and before someone says they’re too old to change it’s never to late to learn, they just don’t want to.