So should you or shouldn’t you?
I love going to Friday prayers. It makes friday somewhat different than other days. However my very nonattentive toddler likes to walk about while the khutba is going on.
She is not loud, but she is distracting. Today I got some annoyed glances my way.
There are other mothers whos wailing children don’t bother them. They don’t care but I am super sensitive about this.
Should give up until she can sit still?
Re: Taking babies and toddlers to jummah prayers
Yes.
Re: Taking babies and toddlers to jummah prayers
NJGAL, I took my kidos to taraweeh many times. The little one was quiet throughout but the older one met some friends and they "whispered" throughout the namaz. Eventually I had to leave and avoided going there again as much as I liked to.
So yeah, unless there is an arrangement for kids...like now we have a little playroom downstairs and an older kid can supervise, I'd say you hold off. It's embarrasing because it's not your intention but again, not in your complete control.
Should give up until she can sit still?
It might be a good idea njgal as firday prayer is not required for ladies .. it will be easy on you as well as easy on kids also
I would take my child to the mosque often when she was a baby as at that age all she would do is sleep, so it was easier. But now she is a toddler it is a little harder as she does what toddlers do best now. I only take my daughter now when offering short salaats.
I always see endless toddlers running around in the Mosque. This is natural for young children to do and women have become accustomed to praying with children running around and talking. I personally don't mind if kids make noises or talk as I have a lot of patience where these things don't bother me. But some do get bothered by this and cannot concentrate on their prayers.
I believe woman and children should be encouraged to go to the Mosque but don't blame your child for not sitting still or talking as I think it is really hard for a toddler to do such things while their parent read 18 rakats of salat or something! This is unfair on the child and unfair to worshippers around who can't concentrate. So if this is the case, then prehaps it is best to pray at home until your child is older. This is unfortunate but I think many women deal with this.
Maybe you could take a sister with you and you both could rotate while one reads Salaat and another is outside playing with the child. I have seen some women do this. :)
I believe woman and children should be encouraged to go to the Mosque but don't blame your child for not sitting still or talking as I think it is really hard for a toddler to do such things while their parent read 18 rakats of salat or something! This is unfair on the child and unfair to worshippers around who can't concentrate. So if this is the case, then prehaps it is best to pray at home until your child is older. This is unfortunate but I think many women deal with this.
This si why it's not mandatory for women to go to masjid. In this particular case, yes their place is at home...its disrespectful and inconsiderate to the other worshippers.
Re: Taking babies and toddlers to jummah prayers
It is. Sara, I really enjoyed going for taraweeh but I realized that it isn't fair to the others who are without kids, and really, I'm not obligated to I stopped going there.
Similarly, at lectures that are held at the masjid, if I must go I prefer to leave my kids with hubby or at a sitter/nanny/friend rather than subject them to a couple hours of sshhhh and shusssshhhhh. It's not fair to the kids either, at this age.
So should you or shouldn't you?
I love going to Friday prayers. It makes friday somewhat different than other days. However my very nonattentive toddler likes to walk about while the khutba is going on.
She is not loud, but she is distracting. Today I got some annoyed glances my way.
There are other mothers whos wailing children don't bother them. They don't care but I am super sensitive about this.
Should give up until she can sit still?
i think it's great to go for jummah prayers. and i think it is quite alright to take babies/toddlers with you, as long as they're not sick. i take along my daughter to the masjid frequently..but in our town we have a seperate room for mothers with kids..so it doesn't distract the other ladies.
since you really appreciate the experience of attending jummah..i don't think you should give it up...it'll be a while before a toddler will want to sit still for 1 hour..
depending on the size of your mosque, you can request a room divider to be put in, so the moms with kids can sit a distance away from the other women, therefore not distracting anyone. or you can let your kiddo sit in their stroller while the khutba goes on..(i've done it a few times to keep her from running around) figure out how to keep 'em entertained peacefully and insha'allah it should work out fine!
Re: Taking babies and toddlers to jummah prayers
I always took my babies and toddlers to jummah prayer when I was able, and I think that it is an excellent idea. Christian children go to church throughout, and they are taught how to behave appropriately from the time they are toddlers. I always took something to keep my children busy, whether it was crayons and a coloring book, a few small toys, a bag of cheerios and juice, etc. Children need to learn to behave in any situation, and it is important for them to be exposed to the masjid from a very early age.
Re: Taking babies and toddlers to jummah prayers
^
not a parent (hence the stupid Q) but when kids see other kids running around, having fun/misbehaving...aren't they likely to do the same? no matter what the parent has taught them otherwise?
Re: Taking babies and toddlers to jummah prayers
Amana, while I totally agree with you about the church scenario, understand that the masjid set up is different. It's more social, less formal and hence the comfort zone the kids have there. Yes, children should be exposed to the masjid but there is a time for that. My daughters go the masjid for Islamic studies and now understand the etiquettes of being in that environment but before that as much as they tried, they couldn't keep to themselves when they saw their friends there. See in churches the have benches and no one has to get up for the entire durations of the sermons and prayer (I've studied in catholic schools all my life) but at the masjid, ladies sit on the carpet in circles during khutbas and when they get up for namaz, they gather up at the lines leaving all the kids to do hanky panky at the back :D
^ not a parent (hence the stupid Q) but when kids see other kids running around, having fun/misbehaving...aren't they likely to do the same? no matter what the parent has taught them otherwise?
No, because mine knew that we would be visiting the bathroom shortly if they did that. :
Amana, while I totally agree with you about the church scenario, understand that the masjid set up is different. It's more social, less formal and hence the comfort zone the kids have there. Yes, children should be exposed to the masjid but there is a time for that. My daughters go the masjid for Islamic studies and now understand the etiquettes of being in that environment but before that as much as they tried, they couldn't keep to themselves when they saw their friends there. See in churches the have benches and no one has to get up for the entire durations of the sermons and prayer (I've studied in catholic schools all my life) but at the masjid, ladies sit on the carpet in circles during khutbas and when they get up for namaz, they gather up at the lines leaving all the kids to do hanky panky at the back :D
^ True, the set up is less formal, but perhaps since I grew up going to church I was easily able to adapt that attitude towards attending the masjid. My children have been praying next to me (or at least going through the motions) since they were about 18 months, so we have never had major problems. I think a lot of the problem is the culture norms of not insisting that small children behave, or even of not taking them to the masjid while they are small.
No, because mine knew that we would be visiting the bathroom shortly if they did that. :
Lol! :)
Re: Taking babies and toddlers to jummah prayers
i hav lived in KSA n when u go to masjid al haram n masjid nabvi there r hundreds of kids .some evn cry but it bothers no one really.As for lil kids i rarely saw them running while moms offered prayer but ever since i came to canada i hav seen ladies in mosque hav very lil patience for young kids.esp old arab ladies.i don't think anyone should object just coz a lil kid is crying unless its too bad.Hazrat imam hussan n hussain used to play on Prophets back when he went to sajdah but he never objected n always taken them to mosque with them.
i think its not the moms with lil kids who shouldn't go to mosque but old ladies with lil to zero tolerance n want to pray in silence.they should stay home n pray in the corner of their houses.
Re: Taking babies and toddlers to jummah prayers
Interesting point of views.
I really like taking the 4 year old to jummah prayers because she can hear the Azzan and the whole namaz. I am also signifying that Friday is a special day for Muslims.
But when I get nasty stares from women - I just don't what to do. My younger one is not loud but she is distracting to some even with her cheerios, and coloring books.
So should you or shouldn't you?
I love going to Friday prayers. It makes friday somewhat different than other days. However my very nonattentive toddler likes to walk about while the khutba is going on.
She is not loud, but she is distracting. Today I got some annoyed glances my way.
There are other mothers whos wailing children don't bother them. They don't care but I am super sensitive about this.
Should give up until she can sit still?
If she isnt loud but is just walking around, then I think those women are being rude to give you annoyed glances!! It would be a different story if she was screaming her head off during the khutbah and prayer, but how is an innocent child walking around bothering anyone!!!!
Njgal, are there other mothers you know who also bring their toddlers? If so then maybe you guys can take turns (if you know and trust them). Like say there are 4 mothers bringing their toddlers and there is a side room next to the prayer hall. Then each week one mom can stay with the kids in that room and have some books, games and toys for the kids to occupy themselves with, and then you guys rotate each week, so every mother gets a chance to pray peacefully. Some girls do this for taraweeh prayers and it works well for them, so maybe you can give it a try
Why would you say that?
Islam is a way of life and from what I understand , its not a religion which stresses isolation and complete silence for worship.
I think it’s very important to take your kids with you , and let them get a feel for their religion, especially if you’re living in the west.
I remember I heard a story about Mohammad PBUH staying in a sajda until one child got off from his back, so I looked it up.
*Prophet Muhammad would put the children on his back or on his lap and play with them. In fact sometimes Prophet Muhammad would put children on his shoulders or his back when praying in the mosque. His granddaughter Umame, the child of his daughter Zainab, was one of these. Prophet Muhammad would take her on his shoulder while praying, when bending over (ruku) in the prayer he would put her on the floor and when he stood up again would take her on his shoulders once again.2 Sometimes when Prophet Muhammad put his head to the floor (sajda) the children would climb on his back. When he got up from the sajda he would gently put them on the ground. When he went back to the sajda they would get on his back again, and they would continue to play in this way until the end of the prayer. When the prayer finished Prophet Muhammad would take the child on his knee without getting angry.3 Once when Prophet Muhammad was in the sajda he stayed with his head on the ground until Hasan or Hussein got off. *
source:CHILDREN WHO WERE BROUGHT UP BY PROPHET MUHAMMAD*-*Lastprophet.info
So should you or shouldn't you?
I love going to Friday prayers. It makes friday somewhat different than other days. However my very nonattentive toddler likes to walk about while the khutba is going on.
She is not loud, but she is distracting. Today I got some annoyed glances my way.
There are other mothers whos wailing children don't bother them. They don't care but I am super sensitive about this.
Should give up until she can sit still?
NO not at all. A BIG FAT NO.
Don't give up but keep teaching your kid and telling her imortance and how to behave in mosque and she has to listen what they are saying. Even if she don't understand.
Keep teaching her.
Those ladies are stupid. That way you kid will learn and get habbit to go to mousque.
You know aribies bring their kids and let them play in mosque and stay even after prayers to let kids have fun in mosque.
Take something for your kid to play with in the mosque if that doesn't work then each weak buy a new toy from dollar/pound shop and in the mosque give her and say that you have to sit and play or otherwise I won't give that to you.
May be after some week she will learn to sit.
Re: Taking babies and toddlers to jummah prayers
If you don't want to spend a single penny then some or one by one hide her favourtie toy or she likes to play or mostly play with and then take that with you and give her by saying that if you would sit and play here then I'll give that to you.