Musafat itni lambi b nahin
k lot jana mumkin na ho
aisey rastey pe chaleny sey kya hasil
jo sath to liye jata ho
magar agey ja k
do hisson mein bat jaye
aik pe tumhen chalney ko kahey
or doojey pe mujhey
to aye merey hamsafar
itni lambi musaafat ki thakan sey
palat jana hi behter hai
apney asal ki janib
apni manzil ki janib
Re: Tajweez…
Pretty impressive work jhansi ki rani :k: … Thanx for sharing it with us.
Re: Tajweez.............
** Rani Saheba....... Khushbash,**
Today Is Certainly Your Day.... Kaisi Nadir Nazmain Layee hain Janab.
Tajurba Bhi....Ta'aluq Bhi....Tarawat Bhi....Nasihat Bhi..... Zindabad.
Darwesh.
Re: Tajweez.............
merey pas shukriye k ilfaaz nhi hain
Re: Tajweez.............
lekin be had shukriya nazmen itni khas nhi thin jitna aap dono ney saraha hai
Re: Tajweez.............
bohut Zabardast janab
Re: Tajweez.............
amal amd darwesh main ney apni is poem k end mein kuch changing ki hai aap ki AAra ka intizar rahey ga
Re: Tajweez.............
Rani Saheba...Khushbash,
Yaadawari Ka Shukriya, Aapne kisi Qabil Samjha.
Aapki Nazm, Pahle Hi Mokammal Hai, Aakhir Ke Change Ki Zaroorat Nahi Thi,
Aur Iss Se Koi Kharabi Bhi Nahi, Ya Khaas Baat Bhi Nahi Bani.
Nazm Mukhtasar Ziyada Mo'assir Hoi Hai, Aur Aapki Pahle Se Hai.
Do Ek Ma'amooli Change of words se ziyaada Nikhar jati hai... Agar main Likhta **to Yeh Tabdeeli Hoti.....**
(Age Jakar Do Hisson ...) AAGE JAKAR "DO RAAHE" MAIN BAT JAYE.. phir,
APNE ASAL KI TARAF....... KISI MANZIL KI JANIB !
Pahle... do Hisson main batne Ko DO RAHAA kahte hain,
dooje.....Janib, do baar estemaal karna ghalat nahi, Magar iss tarha bhi bura Nahi. Han, apni manzil ki janib...theek nahi.... Agar Manzil Ka pata Tha to iss
dorahe par kyun chale koi ? Kyun Ke Pahla qadam..successful nahi, ya selection theek nahi, Iss liye ab KISI MANZIL KI TARAF jana chahiye....
Good Luck, Khudawand aapko aapki Manzil Tak Le Jaye.... Ameen !
Yeh Meri Isslaah Hai, main ne kaha tha, agar main likhta to aise hota ,zaroori nahi, aap pasand bhi karen...magar, iss tarha ki discussion bhi zarrori hoti hai.
Darwesh.
Re: Tajweez.............
be had shukriya darwesh aap ney waqai bohat sahi istimaaal kiya hai lafzon ka mutabdal k tor pe, or aisey mein is nazam ka husan i think k or bar gya hai, to janab ye hi lafz aap is poem mein ad kar k is ko sahi kar dein to be had mashkoor hon gi:)
Re: Tajweez.............
Rani G buhat khubsurat ......... Nah Janay Mujhay keon Laga Kah Kissi Nay Mujh Say Yah Batain Pahlay Bhi Kaheen Hoon .... buhat simple aur khubsurat nazam .......
Waisay Rani G main awal to likhta he naheen hoon leekan agar kabhi yah ghalti kar baithta hoon to ek dafa likh kar kabhi bhi change naheen karta hoon .... aab pata naheen main ghalat ho kay saheeh .... leekan yah mera khyal hay kah bus apni feelings to as it is share karna zyada acha lagta hay ....
Re: Tajweez.............
Rani Saheba .......Tasleemat !
Darweshnawazi Ka Shukriya, Mujhe Kisi tarha ki Khushfahmi Nahi Ke Main Koi Critic Hun, Ek Dost ki Tarha, suggest kiya Tha, Zahe Naseeb, Ke Baat Apko Bhaa Gayee.... Aap Basad Shouq Tabdeeli Kar sakti Hain.
Darwesh !
Re: Tajweez…
sanan g main aap sey poori tara mutafiq hun k jo bat dil sey nikal k kagaz pe phail jaye wo hi asar rakhti hai or wo hi asal ho ti hai lekin sanan g wo kya hai koi no amoz jab kuch likhna shuru karta hai to taseeh karwaney k liye kisi shayar k pas jata hai or main ney aap logon sey share kiya hai bas ye farq hai
***thx darwesh g , aap ko khush fehmi na sahi ghalt fehmi to ho gi:halo: ***
Re: Tajweez.............
Rani Saheba...Khushbash,
Khushfahmi iss liye Nahi ke Darweshi Ka Pahla Sabaq Tha, Ghalatfahmi iss liye nahi ke darwesh hun.... Man Aanam Ke Man Danam.... Cheers !
Darwesh !
Re: Tajweez.............
*Rani G please mera naam unn logoon key fahrisat say nikal dain jin say aap taseeh key umeed rakhti hain ...... hum to janab bilkul he paidal hain she'ri main *
Re: Tajweez.............
G sanan g main aap sey mutafiq hun k aap na sirf shayari sey balkey....... bhi paidal hain lolz:P
darwesh g aap ki khaksari or aajzi bhai gai
Re: Tajweez.............
Rani (yon) Ko Khaksaari Bha'ne Lage, Bohat Khoob....Parja Hairaan Hai !
Darwesh.
Re: Tajweez…
**Or pryshan bhi:confused: **
Re: Tajweez…
Buhat Buhat Shukaria Rani G 
** Aap ka Husan Nazar Hay **warna mera aur aap ka kia muqabala 
Re: Tajweez.............
g aap ney bilkul theek kaha muqabla wahan hota hai jahan muqabla karney k liye KUCH ho.........lolz