Symbolism of the red dress

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Re: Symbolism of the red dress

In Jewish weddings they have something similar. The bride and groom actually go into a room alone and hang out for a while alone (back in the day they’d be consummating the marriage, now they are usually just talking and feasting) while all the family and friends are hanging out outside!

EDIT: Oh! And I have to say, that reminds me of my favorite commercial that I saw in Pakistan – the one where there’s a bride and groom sitting in their bedroom the wedding night. The groom gives the bride a cell phone for her Moonh dikhai. She starts playing with it; he wants to play with it and snatches it back. They keep snatching it back and forth, and the bed starts making creaking noises. The camera then flashes from them to the “ghar wale” having tea and refreshments outside, pausing awkwardly at the sound!!! I couldn’t believe that commercial when I saw it.

Sorry to shock everyone. I will go back to be usual appropriate self. :halo:

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Re: Symbolism of the red dress

lol! please, its hilarious, don't stop!

and yeah, when our friends got married, in their PROGRAM, it said between the ceremony and reception that there was some time, i forget the term for it, and it explained that they would traditionally be consummating the marriage then!

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Re: Symbolism of the red dress

I heard that not all brides bleed though :bummer: what do they do then?

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Re: Symbolism of the red dress

if they’re illiterate people, they probably beat the girl up or something. if they have any decency, they wouldn’t be checking the first place and second, they’d know that the bleeding has nothing to do with being a virgin or not… to get technical, you bleed when the hymen tears… from what ive read, for some women, it happens during their period or even if they’re physcially active like go running/gym etc.
so the whole “if she doesn’t bleed, she aint a virgin” thing is illiterate, and shameless to boot! what a personal thing that is and to exhibit it as proof of consummation is retarded. its up to the couple to decide what they want, and when they want it.

http://www.coolnurse.com/hymen.htm - if you were embarassed by what i said above, don’t click this link! :stuck_out_tongue:

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Re: Symbolism of the red dress

Western dresses cost upwards of thousands...In Pakistan, even the best dresses are less than 2000 USD. The majority of pakistani citizens wont be going to such designers and parlors that charge 30,000 Rs.. So no in Pakistan, they wotn spend hundreds of thousands of rupees on a single dress to wear ONLY once..

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plus with the monetary thing, if what you say is true about lower/middle class people not being able to afford to make a pricey dress and only wear it once, then a) why make such a pricey dress, and b) if people were truly so budget conscious, shouldnt it reflect in other aspects of the wedding too? we still have huge 400 people parties with tons of food going to waste at the end, we give lots of jewellery to our brides (whether they wear it or not is another story), theres lots of jaheyz given etc... those things can be considered wasteful too but they're not. if you're gonna play the budget card, it has to be played across the board, not just with your dress. especially considering the value of the dress is what, 5% of your total budget? less? you wearing it multiple times isn't really gonna affect the overall expenditure on the wedding.
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a) Its easier to justify an "expensive" dress if they will be wearing it over and over for several years. Have you never heard that rule, everytime something is worn, it makes up for the cost... Just think abt ti this way, lets say you use that KitchenAid thing, if you use it at least twice a week for whatever, then it pretty much pays for itsself after some weeks/months :D

b) Pakistani weddings are not more htan just one day, parents give alot of things to their daughter so that she can start a new life, and that includes not only clothes and jewelery but also furniture and dishes and linens. The jewelery itself is more than for fashion purposes, it's also an investment, that God forbid if shes ever in that situation, she can sell it and get a good amount (since gold is never cheap)...As far as I know, there's no concept of jahez/barree in a gora wedding

Also, one thing i've noticed in Pakistan versus here in USA, there is alot more variety available for almost every budget, whether they're rich expats from UK/US or middle classers in Gulberg...

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Somegrooverychick: But guys in Pakistan are just unpredictable! some dont care even if they know their girls arent virgins and some dont believe them even if they are just because they dont bleed and i am not talking about the lower class but many educated guys belonging to good families act that way...what Hippocrates!

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thats just sad then... its a good idea not to marry those kind of guys!

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Shukar karo hamaray culture mein ghairat abhi tak reh gaya (pardon me for the bad Urdu but be thankful that in our culture there’s still shame and respect for the bride…sure friends/even ghar walay sometimes joke and wink, but there’s never the bedsheet flying or “checking” for it.

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But you never know how people actually are before you get married - most of the families act so nice and decent before the marriage the guy keeps on calling but once the wedding is over they start showing their true colors.

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Re: Symbolism of the red dress

Interestingly enough, its bcoming a common procedure to “restore” the hymen…most women who get em are either doing it for thrills (errr OK!) or they were a lil too wild :rolleyes: OR the above stuff u mentioned and are gonna get marreid off to the first shareef guy from their home country and get it done…

I remember reading an article abt some 9 yr old girl who fell off a bike, or had some sort of injury, and thus broke it..but her parents were so scared ****less that they wetn to the doc and made him make a certificate that said she was “certified” :rolleyes:

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Oh yea, i heard in some cultures the bride actually keeps the bed sheet unwashed as well so that if the guy accuses her ever she can show it to him..ekh...

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Re: Symbolism of the red dress

on a sidenote- can i ask, when pakistani ladies are pregnant, why are they constantly hiding their baby bumps and wearing giant, shapeless, tent-like clothes, as if they're ashamed of them? are they ashamed of being pregnant? i dont get this whole concept of "be modest, cover up, bura lagta hai itna bura payt lay kay walking around". as far as i'm concerned, GROWING A BABY, is miracle and a huge blessing... i mean, geez, i can't even grow a friggin' plant and IA one day, i'll be growing a HUMAN BEING inside me. theres no way im hiding my bump! having said that, i understand i've never been preggo, but i know that if i hide my bump, it'll be more of a vanity thing rather than cos im ashamed/being "modest".

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Re: Symbolism of the red dress

insist on a long engagement so you can date this person before you finalise things... its difficult, i know, you hear so many horror stories these days, but you gotta screw society and watch out for yourself, first and foremost. if people gossip, let them, so long as you're 100% sure thats the guy/family for you. meh. im so glad i dont live in pakistan... i think all the rules would drive me nuts.

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Re: Symbolism of the red dress

^ Society has taught them to be ashamed of showing any sign of a sexual relationship to the outside world. I've even seen pregnant women who are out shopping in Pakistan get ogled and cat-called because the guys know she's "experienced."

Sick.

Can't really blame them for hiding, even if they are happy and proud of their pregnant state. Who knows how others respond.

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Well for any reason you can lie to the whole world but you can’t hide anything from Allah - so its in a persons hands to either chose the right path all together or fake it in front of people but they should not forget Allah is all knowing!

I can’t blame the ones who dont do anything and get it broken because in our culture as i said guys can be jerks and blame it all on the girl without even thinking or talking and there is no trust left either while they dont even think about their own past life..:bummer:

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SGC, as for hiding the belly....sometiems they just end up looking fat/overweight (because sometimes everything else swells during pregnancY)... I'd rather look pregnant (well thats when I WILL be) than look fat...but that said, i find it really disgusting to c women walking around wtih their naked bellies hanging out when they're VERY pregnant..there should be a middle ground...But antoher, more serious, reason why pakistanis go to any lenght to hide it is because of evil nazar...maybe someone else can elaborate on it, but I've heard that they'll hide it, dont go out much, because kisi ki nazar par jati hai...same with taking young babies out too early...they dotn want strangers looking at them or showing it off i guess...

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That doesnt help either - a friend of mine was engaged for about 9 years, can you believe it and while she was engaged to the guy he was so fairy tale prince like - so romantic, sensitive and caring but when they went for a nikkah she already has got two talaaks before rukhsati and the guy is her own cousin :teary1:

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thats not true! come on sara, its a whole industry and i've researched it cos at one point, i was going to buy one, and of all of my friends who have bought them- only one spent $3400 on her dress (i wouldnt even spend that much on my pakistani dress, thats ridiculous), but the rest all got gorgeous dresses for under $1000. theres ranges and brands and different styles- if its chantilly lace from france it'll be a hell of a lot more expensive than if it was silk from somewhere else. the more elaborate it is, the more $$ it is. you shop for a white wedding dress to meet your budget, same with a pakistani dress.

and a lot of white people get tons of gifts at showers and then also at weddings... you're supposed to take separate gifts to both functions if you're invited to both. thats why they register and get what they want/need so it is a form of jaheyz.

i just think that yes, you wear it more than once and eventually you pay it off, and get your money's worth, but since its such an important dress, does it really matter? obviously not to white people.

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thats got to be a rare case! no?

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sara, haan, i agree, super pregnant ladies in bathing suits is a bit much, but i think if you're preggo and you look preggo and you look good, well then, you say Mash'Allah and you dress to look good and feel good. wearing mumu's and giant kameezes with your shalwars makes some women look like giant martians and i dont know... it just bugs me.

sahar, that is SICK. i can't believe they go thru that... ugh. some people are so freakin' depraved, they should be locked up for their own good.
altho i was referring mainly to pakistani ladies abroad that i've seen/known. the only person i know who looked amazing and didn't hide behind layers of fabric was my persian mumani- man she pulled it off well! and no one in the family minded at all! i guess it depends on the family too....