It was the first day of school and a new student
named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let’s begin by reviewing some of our American history.
Who said, ‘Give me liberty, or give me death’?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who answered, “Patrick Henry, 1775.”
‘Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth’?"
Again, no response except from Suzuki: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”
The teacher nodded approvingly at Suzuki, then turned to the rest of the class and said, “You should be ashamed of yourselves. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.”
She heard a loud whisper: “Screw the Japs.” “Who said that?” she demanded.
Suzuki put his hand up. “Lee Iacocca, 1982.”
At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.”
The teacher glared and said, “All right! Now, who said that?”
Again, Suzuki said, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”
Now furious, another student yelled, “Oh, yeah? Suck this!”
Suzuki jumped out of his chair, waving his hand, and shouted to the teacher, “Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”
Now with almost a mob hysteria, someone said, “You little **** . If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.”
Suzuki frantically yelled at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001!”
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh **** , we’re in BIG trouble!” Suzuki said, “Arthur Andersen, 2001.”
AK
