A friend of mine just called me telling me that they had a baby. They’ve been married for 14 years. did not have a child, and went through all kind of treatments without any luck.
Finally they took this route. They are the biological parents of that kid. I am extremely happy for them and cause they are very good friends of ours, have this sudden love for this kid.
I am not sure if its allowed in our religion. Adoption is one thing but surrogation is all different ball game. The couple is not Muslim so this was not even a concern. But the point is not how the baby was born. Point is the human emotions. I am not even related to that baby and I am feeling such warmth for him. I cant even imagine what parents (biological parents) must be going through.
But what about the surrogate mother? How tough must it be for her? After all, the baby was part of her body.
Anyone knows a surrogate mother? How does she feel?
TLK ...surrogacy is completely not allowed in islam...it is akin to zina.... the sperm of a non-mahram is in a woman's body....
On the other part of your question... a couple of years ago when I was not even married I used to tell this aunty of mine...when I have kids I will give you my first...but I don't think that is even remotely a possibility for me.... the only way I can think mothers can give up their child is if they have made up their mind of not connecting with the child...but how a woman does that.... I don't know....how could you not do that...
Ok if i am correct a surrogate mother uses the womans egg and a mans sperm. So its not even her baby. She is jus producing it. I watched a documentary one time about this woman her job was actually being a 'surrogate' So she had MANY babies. But end of the day the baby aint even hers.
Ok if i am correct a surrogate mother uses the womans egg and a mans sperm. So its not even her baby. She is jus producing it. I watched a documentary one time about this woman her job was actually being a 'surrogate' So she had MANY babies. But end of the day the baby aint even hers.
I don't know of anyone. I just thought of the movie Baby Mama
You could not come up with a known example .. Phoebe did that in Friends
TLK ...surrogacy is completely not allowed in islam...it is akin to zina.... the sperm of a non-mahram is in a woman's body....
On the other part of your question... a couple of years ago when I was not even married I used to tell this aunty of mine...when I have kids I will give you my first...but I don't think that is even remotely a possibility for me.... the only way I can think mothers can give up their child is if they have made up their mind of not connecting with the child...but how a woman does that.... I don't know....how could you not do that...
I did not even want to bring in the religion factor, and then the fact that the couple is not Muslim. But I want to know the feelings, as you mentioned, that inspired a mom to give away her kid. Poverty is understood. If I cannot give food to my kid, while a nice family can actually make his/her future better, I know that I might give away my child.
Ok if i am correct a surrogate mother uses the womans egg and a mans sperm. So its not even her baby. She is jus producing it. I watched a documentary one time about this woman her job was actually being a 'surrogate' So she had MANY babies. But end of the day the baby aint even hers.
TLK ...surrogacy is completely not allowed in islam...it is akin to zina.... the sperm of a non-mahram is in a woman's body....
it's not quite the same. it's not a sperm but a fertilized egg that is placed in the surrogate. to many people, that is already alive, already a child. imho, calling it zina is really being far too literal. i also think it shows little understanding of why zina is forbidden.
I watched a documentary on tv once about this...the majority of the biological parents are upper-middle-class and the majority of the surrogate mothers are lower-working-class. Usually unmarried and have children of their own. They go through with the surrogacy as if it is just another job and view it as a business transaction. By doing this, it is harder for an emotional bond to grow. And this may seem weird to us, but for them it is actually the smart thing to do for their own emotional well being and sanity. Otherwise it would ofcourse be too difficult to part with the baby once its born.
My american legal perspective on the issue after taking a family law course: Surrogacy has become a legitimate business. There are agencies and services that deal with this exclusively and as long as there is money available for them to be used and the surrogates to be hired.... its going to just keep becoming more and more common in this country. HOWEVER .... people should be very cautious.
Surrogacys are essentially contracts. One should always note which state they live (or even which country they live in). The assumption that the woman that gives birth to the child is the mother is the one that prevails. Some states state laws are completely silent about the issue and so if a contention is later made by the birth mother.... the "legal assumption" might make it difficult for the biological parents to win the case. Some states recognize these contracts as legal and enforceable. It should be noted that most states do not have any statute dealing with the issue at all. Some places like the District of Columbia completely prohibits surrogacy agreements.
It is a very interesting area of law due to how unclear it is. Even if a couple is ok with it on a religious level..... A lot of research should be done (aka hire a lawyer) on it before a couple decides to take the plunge and use this route. No matter where you live in this world.
^ Sorry if my post sounds so dry That is legal talk for you. But I am happy for your friends TLK!!! I am sure they did all the research and the end result is their dreams have come true and they have gotten their happiness
TLK i dont know this person myself but know of someone who served as a surrogate for a lady who had a hysterectomy. the couple is very happy. dont think the lady who volunteered (yes volunteered) to be a surrogate had much issues giving the baby to the couple from what I know.
surrogacy, even gestational surrogacy is currently now allowed oer islamic rules, but lets see, at one time IVF and IUI etc were not allowed at large either.
Religious pov aside, I think it must be really hard for the surrogate mother..but then I see mothers get an abortion just because they think' they can't take care of a baby at this stage'..not judging anyone but just pointing out the similarity of *giving up one's child *(with the known dissimilarity ofcourse).
So I guess it is possible that if the motive is only money it may not be too hard for them like PunjabiRose pointed out. However, if someone does it out of love for a beloved one, like Phoebe did for her bro(I guess) I don't think one can avoid getting attached to the baby.
surrogacy, even gestational surrogacy is currently now allowed oer islamic rules, but lets see, at one time IVF and IUI etc were not allowed at large either.
are you saying that it is "now" allowed or "currently not allowed"?
See, I did not know that. I thought that the inserted sperm and mother’s egg and let the nature do the rest. I agree then somewhat. Maybe calling it Zina is taking it way too far.
PunjabiRose, that is some great info you shared and it was a very interesting read. Not at all dry. My friend is Hindu and they took hored the surrogate mom back in India. I dont know how the surrogacy laswas flow bewteen the state he lives in and the country of India but I am sure that he has done his homewrk before going that route.
Lady volunteered?! That is quite a committment I must say. I am touched.
I am sure it is quite hard not to develop emotional attachment even if you do it for money
Muzna, I think he wanted to say “currently not allowed”
Religion aside. I wud be willing to help out a VERY close friend, or family member if they cudnt hav a baby. Yes i wud go thru all the pain, yes it wud be hard. But end of the day its not MYYY baby it wud be theirs, im jus baking it. (lol sorry hehe sowwiee) erm yeah i wud do it you know. :) But just to see sum1 be happy it wud be amazing that i gave THEM their little angel.
That is legal talk for you. But I am happy for your friends TLK!!! I am sure they did all the research and the end result is their dreams have come true and they have gotten their happiness 