It's perfectly normal. In your case would it be Mrs. Wrigley or Winter fresh?
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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
You are talking about Arabic custom, which is not NECESSARILY what Islam requires anyone to do. "Bint so and so" or "Um-e so and so" is 100% Arabic, thats all.
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Islamically, a woman doesn't need to change her name at all after marriage. She can keep her father's surname and doesn't need to add the husband name in any form.
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Originally posted by Ana: *
In Islam - not in Arab culture only - it is highly prefered that women do NOT change their name. At one place, I have read that it is absolutely forbidden to change their name, but I can't remember the source rite now. It is *desi culture, which is paternalistic. The reason women are given the preferance to keep their own name is because the blood lines must have clear identification, otherwise a "Sana bint Fakhri" or "Sana Fakhri" who marries Aamir Saud becomes "Sana Saud" and is in effect on written paper reflected as either his sister or mother, not his wife. In the case that she adopts her husband's first name, she becomes his daughter - on paper. Future generations who have forgotten their ancestry will misinterpret past records, and this causes a great deal of confusion in their lives, marriages, birth, deaths, etc... Esp. when trying to figure out things like if the uncles can marry their sister's nieces or the wife's son can marry the husband's first wife's daughter's neice, etc... It creates a mess.
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heh! the usuall feminist desi bashing
Sitting in front of your computer...you created situations, moved names left and right and came to a conclusion. Do you even know how things are done in 'desi' culture? Or did you just make a million + 1 assumptions? Should a woman change her name...I dont know, but does it create confused indentities in desi (read Pakistani) culture, no way!
In Pakistan you (male or female) dont even exist on "paper" without your fathers identity. Both your passport and your ID card have your father's full name. A womans name is written as Sana wald Fakhri if she is unmarried and she becomes Sana zoja Saud after marriage. She might be called Sana Saud verbally and informally, but on paper she will always be Sana zoja Saud. So in no situation can a husband be mistakes as father..Even grave stones have Father's or husband's full name on them, including the relationship.
Fine fine, if you guys think its ONLY an Arab custom then by all means think that way, I will not argue with anyone
who_me - did u bother to read the rest of the explanation on the significance of retaining your own name? Do you agree or disagree that it is a very important thing for a woman to hold on to her own name and that what desi culture promotes is in fact very wrong!?!
I could have retorted with "Typical desi male attitude. Huh!", but I won't.
As for the paper names - yes, generations down the road, when there is no one left to make corrections to the family tree, confusions DO arise. I have witnessed this myself, in quite a few instances, as to "was Sana Saud great-phoophi or great-phoopi's daughter's? (both dead and buried), so is the present-day to-be-dulhan Sara Jalal a full Syed or a half-Syed?" blah blah... It's the idiots who care about lineage who really make a big issue out of these things, but there are plenty more idiots out there than sensible people.
Punga - what did your comment mean and who was it addressed to?
I did read the whole post, and I do agree with most of it. But to call bits of a culture "paganistic-hand-me-downs" is wrong. A culture is a culture is a culture. You shouldnt expect all muslims to follow arab customs, and call everything else paganistic. A name has very little impotence in my opinion, either way. What is important is if you are a scientist, teacher or a doctor. People should concentrate more on making something of themselves than shouting "pidram sultan bood".
And then how does a change of name stop a women from getting a divorce? Why does a woman who is marrying a guy thinking so hard about what will happen to her name in case of a divorce? Most marriages in our culture dont end up in a divorce, so is the individuality of own name so much more important than the unity a common name might bring? I think there shouldnt be a rule, and the couple should decide themselves (the way its happening more and more these days).
BTW...personally I dont care...my wife (who ever the unlucky lady will be) can call herself Minni Mouse or Lisa Simpson or XV32746, I wouldnt care.
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*Originally posted by Ana: *
"was Sana Saud great-phoophi or great-phoopi's daughter's? (both dead and buried), so is the present-day to-be-dulhan Sara Jalal a full Syed or a half-Syed?" blah blah... It's the idiots who care about lineage who really make a big issue out of these things, but there are plenty more idiots out there than sensible people.
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See theres the problem. Its not with the naming system, its with people who care about half or 2/3rds syed. I hope they get more confused. IMO this is a more uneducated part of our culture. Strictly in terms of legality of marriage, linage before the grand parents (I think) doesnt/shouldnt matter anyway.
clap clap clap
very interesting discussions going on here :)
In my family its all personal decisions i guess :).. my grandma's (paternal) last name was a girlish name so she remained that way..Infact, my both aunts had last names as girlish names too..and they remained that way..My father's last name is my grandfather's first name..Until my grandfather's generation..they all had sir names..but my grandfather dropped them and changed the last names to his first names..so this tradition continued with my family and also with my uncle's family (naming everyone's last name as father's first name). My mom was Parvin Ahmad..she preferred to change it to Parvin Ahmad Farrukh..farrukh is my father's name.
For me, my name is the same..before and after marriage :)
i suffered whole my life on owin a loooooooong name which aktually include my 1st name, dad’s first n maiden name n then da family name but never thot of renamin it even if so many ppl askd m 2 do it, like teacherz n office fellawz etc. now they just kall m Miss Khan instead of dat dhai kilometer lumba naam. my mom usez her premarriage name which didn’t even includez her father’s name
hmmmm my personal opinion iz dat Name is da only thin v own our ownselvez n which solely belongz 2 us then da decision shud b ourz also. i my self feel worthy if some buddy callz m SAIMA LATIF AKHTER KHAN 
may b it’s due 2 da association of my name wid my dad’z whom i admire a lot n in future if i felt da same by linkin my name wid some 1 else’z then i wud b changin my name 4 sure :k:
I haven't changed my name. I prefer to keep the last name that I grew up with. But when children start coming, I might consider changing it just so the whole family can have the same last name. I wouldn't wanaa be the only one in the family with a different last name.
From a practical standpoint, it is totally ridiculous. Imagine trying to find phone numbers of your ex-girlfriends in London or some other nice city. Jennifer Cordon is Jennifer Cordon and not Jennifer Schwartz (I can’t get over the fact that she dumped a Muslim for a Jew).
Is there anything stopping men to adopt the names of their wives after marriage? Penis is power.
Re: surname change after marriage
i think its kindaa sweet:blush:
Re: surname change after marriage
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*Originally posted by cHEeGUm: *
today at work i recieved a few calls of a unique nature. they were women calling in to get their last name changed in their account information cuz they had just got married.
every woman that i know of in my life has had to do it. in some cultures they even change the girl's first name.
how do women take this tradition in general? is it that easy to let go of an identity you have stood beside for the first 20 or so years of your life?
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I will take my wife's surname.
My mom didn't change her last name after marriage. I'm not going to change mine either...I happen to be quite fond of it. My last name is actually my mom's first name.
When did desi ladies start taking their husband's name?
From what I know the women were always khatoon, khanum, begum, rani or bibi or something like that. And thats just in the overly-patriachal pathan clans.