…because you don’t like to hurt people’s feelings, because you don’t like conflicts, because you don’t think it will make a difference, or because you think it will come back at you…
is that good or bad?
Re: Supressing Emotions
Timing is of the essence and the ability to sense when an emotion should be displayed, and when we should hold back for the greater benefit.
Constant of both is bad.
Sometimes our emotions need to displayed and tears serve as a pressure release valve to relieve us of the sorrow that's building inside. Other times, suppression of the emotions strengthens us, and disciplines us to face situations with a strong and firm heart, and not let emotions get the best of us.
Re: Supressing Emotions
Nik,
I remember my tenth grade English teacher once said, "Anything that is suppressed will eventually come out." Didn't pay much attention in the 10th grade although I usually enjoyed English....however I never forgot what my teacher said. Because she was 100% right.
In my own personal life, I've found that it's true. Nik, if you suppress your feelings for all of the above reasons.....you will find that your negative feelings will manifest themselves in some way or the other. Just because you're not discussing your feelings.....doesn't mean they completely disappear inside of you. Your inner negativity will eventually seep through your body language, your tone of voice, your health, your beliefs, and even your relationship with others.
For example, let's say a person grows up with abusive parents. And he suppressed his feelings and pain and never talked about the issue with his parents. He might take out his anger toward OTHER people in his life. He might always be in a surly mood with unapproachable body language. He might have trust issues with OTHER people. And he might even grow up to be an abusive parent himself in the future.
You pick and choose your battles. There are some things you can let slide such as minor transgressions, thoughtlessness, and tactless comments. BUT when someone** REALLY CROSSES OVER THE LINE**....communicate your concerns in a calm and civilized way. Sometimes a calm discussion can help the other person realize their errors. And if you love someone, you don't want them to persist on the wrong path with the wrong behavior. They need the education and you need to release the poison from your system. It's taxing on the the health. Let's face it, even the best of us can't "let go" of all issues.
...because you don't like to hurt people's feelings, because you don't like conflicts, because you don't think it will make a difference, or because you think it will come back at you...
is that good or bad?
I say whatever there is to be said right at the person's face, weather s/he likes it or not.
I'd feel bad to hurt someone though. Conflicts can happen either way doesnt matter if its good or bad. Difference can also happen either way.
Whatever it is if your own judgement is right about the person and s/he've been treated fairly it'll never come back to you. :)
Re: Supressing Emotions
well niksik! at sometimes its good and sometimes its bad.
Nik sometimes its good that we should control our emotions but sometimes its like your emotions are boiling in a pressure cooker when it will blast it will be dangerous/Its both ways.
Re: Supressing Emotions
i believe emotions are half the communication we do everyday :)
Re: Supressing Emotions
Never suppress your feelings, giving someone a good punch on the face is a remarkable feeling...
Seriously tho, sometimes it is wiser to suppress your true feelings, for example, when you don't like a person who has just married into your family, it would hurt that person and also hurt the spouse and will not achieve anything.
Re: Supressing Emotions
^ Nik, if you ever decide to give someone a punch........when making a fist, remember to keep the thumb out. Punching someone with a fist in which the thumb is enclosed under the fingers....can lead to a broken thumb. Or, so I've heard.
Re: Supressing Emotions
hahaha!!!!
Re: Supressing Emotions
^ Ouch......those things are freaky looking. They can poke an eye out! Stick to the punch, Nick. Less damage.
Re: Supressing Emotions
it's good if it doesn't make any difference on them
what's the point of showing your vulnerbrity in front of the ppl who don't even care abt how u feel
Re: Supressing Emotions
^ That's a good point. Sometimes it's good to show people that don't care about you...that you're not affected by their actions....especially if they are the arrogant kind who want you to be hurt by them as it gives them a sense of power.
BUT AT THE SAME TIME.....there is a difference between how you communicate with others. You can communicate in a highly emotional way, throw a fit, burst into tears, and go ballistic. That seems more like "vulnerable" behavior to me. However you also have the OPTION **to communicate with **CLASS like a mature adult.....and that makes you look STRONG instead of weak and pathetic and out-of-control.
And is it really that bad to be vulnerable? We're human beings, we're vulnerable by nature....physically and emotionally. That's how we're created.
Also, I believe that you can tolerate a person's idiotic behavior ONLY for so long. And after a certain limit.....SOMEBODY has to put the offender in their place....otherwise the vicious cycle will continue and there will be more victims of their stupidity besides you.