Lets say you meet a person of the opposite sex that is shia and start to like them…would you ever considering marrying that person considering that your family will be against it.
Re: Sunni/Shia
Well to me mate , inter sect marriage is more or like marrying some one from a different religion ( don’t they consider each other infidel ?) so if religion plays a huge role in your life , I wouldn’t advice that .
Sadly it not going to effect you as much it will to your kids .
Re: Sunni/Shia
Firstly, u shud avoid intermingly unnecessarily with the opposite sex as it is unislamic! with that done it will be unlikly that you start to "like" some1 of the opposite sex, etc etc.
Secondly: marrying into different sects only works when you are lazy in adhering to the sect you pertain to, and vice versa. Even if that is the case, somewhere down the track it is going to cause huge problems, I cant list all of them but I'll list a few i can think of.... e.g. come muharram, your partner wants to teach your kids how to do maatum and you cant stand that thought, what do you do?
Also, if you are sunni, married into a shia and are attending one of thier gathering, and all of sudden they all feel like braging out Hazrat Abu Bakr/ Umar/ Aisha (ra), what are you going to do, let these ppl use bad words for these respected sahaba or stand up and defend them, as you can imagine u will be out numbered...
One last example, could you stand your partner saying "Ya Ali Madad" when in time of need, could you stand such a level of shirk in your daily life? and the list goes on....
But like I said, the situations listed above are only difficult for ppl who take them seriously enough, for those that dont, I say "Ya Allah Madad" :)
Wassalam
Re: Sunni/Shia
Lets say you meet a person of the opposite sex that is shia and start to like them....would you ever considering marrying that person considering that your family will be against it.
It depends on your inner strenght and coping abilities.
I have cousins being very tolerant and they do not cling to either sect. They have a very strong faith and are an good example of such marriages.
The sect thing is not a big issue, unless others dont make it on your behalf. Both parents parcitipate in religious gatherings.....
And Shias of today are undergoing a transformation as various other sects.
- Some dont do "mahtam"
- Some do not at all name call sahabas or doubt the legality of khalifa-e rashideen. *]Some dont say "maula" to Ali (ra) If you a rigid religious type of person, then its not for you. Tolerance and kindness conquers all. May Allahjee lead you to the rigth decision....ameen.
Re: Sunni/Shia
it depends on how important religion is to you and how closely you follow it. Also....maybe you and your partner are fine with the religious differences but what happens to the children? Personally, I wouldnt marry anyone that doesnt follow the same sect as me. It may work out for some but not for all.
Re: Sunni/Shia
Lets say you meet a person of the opposite sex that is shia and start to like them....would you ever considering marrying that person considering that your family will be against it.
'Family' can be against for many other reasons. First define that family, which I think is some uncle or aunty. Now if they are against it because of Islam than it is ridiculous, otherwise tell them about him/her, why you like them? why you believe that person is the right one? Basically stand up for them because if not now than unlikely it will happen any other time.
Re: Sunni/Shia
I think that if you believe in one god, believe that mohammed is the last prophet, follow the 5 pillars of islam and follow the teachings of the quran then the rest is between you and god, its not for me to judge. Or is that a too liberal a view? Am I missing anything?
Re: Sunni/Shia
i wouldn't. too many differences for my liking. and i'm in no way a word by word follower of the teachings of islam. first of all...the major difference, the ashura. i'm not comfortable with it. call it the brainwashing done by my sunni family, or lack of understanding, or whatever, i just don't get it, and so wouldn't support it. then there are other familial gatherings, other religious gatherings. interpertation of some things are different. superstitous beliefs are differents. so no, i definitely won't be able to handle it, so i won't do it. forget family for now.
Re: Sunni/Shia
First of all, reading everyone's post i think i will be the only person saying it wouldn't make a difference for me.. Don't take me negative, Alhamduallah iam a 5 times namazi and read quran everyday.. for me being shia or suni doesn't make a difference, as long as the guy believes in Allah and his prophets, follows islam properly and has a good personality, i care less which sect they belong to..
Second thing, my mom's side family are mostly shia and my dad side family are sunni (Two chachis are shia and 3 of my poopas are shia). In my whole family, there was never an issue of not being able to marry someone because they belong from different sect. And i am 100% sure my parents would have no issues if i wanted to marry someone who is shia..
P.S This is wat i think right now, i might later in life i change my mind if i had some solid and proper reasons to do so...
Re: Sunni/Shia
I agree with Princess Fiona.
Re: Sunni/Shia
I think that if you believe in one god, believe that mohammed is the last prophet, follow the 5 pillars of islam and follow the teachings of the quran then the rest is between you and god, its not for me to judge. Or is that a too liberal a view? Am I missing anything?
just because you choose not to marry someone doesnt mean that you are judging them...it just means that they dont fit into your world.
Re: Sunni/Shia
I think that if you believe in one god, believe that mohammed is the last prophet, follow the 5 pillars of islam and follow the teachings of the quran then the rest is between you and god, its not for me to judge. Or is that a too liberal a view? Am I missing anything?
Well most ppl these days dont marry blindly.... you have to judge them so that you can be certain to a degree that they are right for you! I would never marry a year-10 drop out, I wouldv'e ended up with one if i hadn't judged them otherwise
And Shias of today are undergoing a transformation as various other sects.
- Some dont do "mahtam"
- Some do not at all name call sahabas or doubt the legality of khalifa-e rashideen.
- Some dont say "maula" to Ali (ra) If you a rigid religious type of person, then its not for you. Tolerance and kindness conquers all. May Allahjee lead you to the rigth decision....ameen.
So if these "reformist" shias dont do the above, what do they have left that defines them as shia? i know the question is off the topic but I was just wondering...
Wassalam
Re: Sunni/Shia
This thread is filled with ignorance
Anyway if family is extremly against a rista, even if it is not shia then don't go too far in a relationship, actually don't step into that relationship as it is not worth it. Unless the couple plans to keep a distance from the family and they (couple) have come to an agreement that to what extend and which rituals will be acceptable from both the sects and practiced in front of the kids. Families play a vital role in our culture therefore if we know that something is completely unacceptable then we should try keeping ourselves away from it.
And aunty pinks, I am in no mood of getting into a religious debate otherwise I would have replied to your "these shia reformist" statement. All I will say is you guys are living in ignorance, you have no knowledge on who shia’s are or even sunni’s. Your statements just reflect some benighted views that have been feed in your pea size brains.
There is a beautiful world out there with beautiful people. That beautiful world has beautiful shia’s and sunni’s, I say get out of your little nests and search for that beautiful world and you'd be surprised how bright and welcoming it is....
Re: Sunni/Shia
Shia and sunni get married everywhere here in pakistan and around the globe. I see no big deal
It depends on your inner strenght and coping abilities. I have cousins being very tolerant and they do not cling to either sect. They have a very strong faith and are an good example of such marriages. The sect thing is not a big issue, unless others dont make it on your behalf. Both parents parcitipate in religious gatherings.....
And Shias of today are undergoing a transformation as various other sects.
- Some dont do "mahtam"
- Some do not at all name call sahabas or doubt the legality of khalifa-e rashideen.
- Some dont say "maula" to Ali (ra) If you a rigid religious type of person, then its not for you. Tolerance and kindness conquers all. May Allahjee lead you to the rigth decision....ameen.
I dont see anything wrong in saying 'muala' to Ali (ra), and I am not a shia.
Similarly, doubting the legality of Khulfa-e-rashideen (selection or election procedure) through scholarly pov is nothing wrong, although calling names is quite cheap and should always be avoided.
Re: Sunni/Shia
Grow up people!
For centuries our religion has been plagued by the thoughts that create, maintain and spread differences. We emphasize the minor differences too much, and thus miss the bigger picture to see where such ideology leads us. We never graduated from such trivial patterns of thought, which has resulted in where we stand today.
Re: Sunni/Shia
Maybe I should avoid all contact with the outside world, otherwise I may fall into temptation. Having said that living in a cave is not really practical in this day and age.
I think some people have comfort zones and anything that challenges them to go beyond those zones frightens them.
If you have two people before you, that are equal in all respects but one is sunni and the other is a shia, then its probably better to go for a sunni. But if the shia person meets your criteria better than the sunni person, would you still marry the sunni? If you say yes then I suspect that your mind is limited by laziness or prejudice to go outside the comfort zone.
If you choose not to marry a shia then its because they don't fit into your world, but why don't they fit into your world? because they are shia. If you like that person and they fit your criteria perfectly, then why would they not fit into your world? because of laziness or prejudice...or maybe even ignorance on your part, which usually is linked to prejudice anyway. It's possible for people to argue about interpretation, that is why we have courts to interpret laws that have been written down on a piece of paper in plain black and white yet still sometimes people interpret them differently.
We are all humans and dividing our selves into different camps based on ethnicity, languages, sects and castes I think is wrong. We should focus on the similarities between us as opposed to the differences. So long as we are muslims thats all that matters. (Does anyone think that shias are not muslims?)
Re: Sunni/Shia
^ You raise a very important point. If you really feel more compatibility with the Shia, and have received a positive istikhara, then perhaps that is the right person for you. I agree that we magnify the differences for no reason.
Re: Sunni/Shia
its not just you, its the other person, and in many cases your family and their family. How accepting everyone is of the other sect, how comfortable is everyone with others practising their sect and how strict everyone is about their sect. You could be the most laid back person not into sectarian stuff, but it does not help if everyone around you is really into the sectarian stuff.
Re: Sunni/Shia
^ So I guess there is even less chance of acceptance if she is Farsi speaking.
Re: Sunni/Shia
Grow up people!
For centuries our religion has been plagued by the thoughts that create, maintain and spread differences. We emphasize the minor differences too much, and thus miss the bigger picture to see where such ideology leads us. We never graduated from such trivial patterns of thought, which has resulted in where we stand today.
Well said..totally agree with you...cant see the forest for the trees...kind of thing.