My cousin just got his baat pukee done with this girl he's liked for 7+ years. The girl is shia and he himself sunni. Everyone was against this rishta, but the guy managed to convince his mom and sisters, and then his dad. So they got the rishta pukka'd. The only reason he went through with it was because the girl is willing to become sunni, not out of pressure or anything like that. My cousin actually laid down the differences between shia and sunni, so she ended up getting a better understanding of sunnis, and chose to become sunni. The elders outside of his family, think that once you are shia, you are shia, and when you have kids, they'll follow what the mom believes in, since the mom has more influence on raising kids. My cousin is the only pota of our khandaan, so my dada's lineage will turn from sunni to shia? :-S My ancestral lineage was actually shia, but my great great great grandfather became sunni, and that is why my cousin and I are sunni today :) Insha'Allah I hope their marriage works out too, and yes sunni shia have differences, but in the end we are all muslims.
WOW Sunni converting to Shia, sounds very scandalous. I don't think you can truly convert to Shia. You are a shia or you are not. Kher. Best of luck. Just like being a Jew. You are either a jew or you are not. You cannot convert to being a Jew. There are certain things involved.
In my family, we never marry Shias. If I tell my mom hypothetically speaking that I want to marry a Shia, I am dead.
ditto!
I am actually going to convert to shi'a islam after marriage.
ok this might not be the right forum for the discussion but you changing your aqeeda just to get marry to him?
btw, your case is not Shia/Sunni marriage then. You are converting to Shia islam anyway. i guess post is asking about people who remained intact on their own sect even after marriage.
Re: Sunni/Shia Marriage?
it’s interesting how this thread is more “heated” than my thread of “bi-racial relationships” 
WOW Sunni converting to Shia, sounds very scandalous. I don't think you can truly convert to Shia. You are a shia or you are not. Kher. Best of luck. Just like being a Jew. You are either a jew or you are not. You cannot convert to being a Jew. There are certain things involved.
In my family, we never marry Shias. If I tell my mom hypothetically speaking that I want to marry a Shia, I am dead.
same in my family, no shias
Re: Sunni/Shia Marriage?
Yeh..! Actually my family we hardly marry out of family so even marrying in to Sunnis is questionable lol. But yeh if we do marry outside family then it is strictly in to Sunnis.
Re: Sunni/Shia Marriage?
One of my friends is Shia and her husband is sunni. Both fought with parents to get married and finally after lots of "roona dhoona" and lectures parents gave in and they got married.
Everything was fine and dandy until kids came along. All of a sudden religion was a BIG thing in the relationship. It's funny that not in the 3 years of their courtship did this discussion come up.
Her husband insists that they be raised as a Sunni. He is not going to allow the children to choose or decide. So after years of bickering - she has made terms with it that her children are going to be raised as Sunnis. But it still erks her when moharam rolls around and she wants her children to participate in shia rituals and he doesn't let them.
my family has a lot of these shia sunni marriages, esp as of late…and they are going pretty good from what we see. both sides follow the same basic fundamentals of islam, so i don’t know why it would be so scandolous in the first place, i mean they are different sects of the same religion.
PS btw did someone here compare being a shia to being a jew?? 
WOW Sunni converting to Shia, sounds very scandalous. I don't think you can truly convert to Shia. You are a shia or you are not. Kher. Best of luck. Just like being a Jew. You are either a jew or you are not. You cannot convert to being a Jew. There are certain things involved.
In my family, we never marry Shias. If I tell my mom hypothetically speaking that I want to marry a Shia, I am dead.
Well, I wasnt even sure abt sunni/shi'a thing until I started seeing my fiance. For the first year of knowing each other I did not even know he is shi'a. When he told me I was a bit scared abt how things would turn out. He laid down the differences for me.. and to be honest, there rnt BIG differences. his family does not follow the whole "matam" thing.. that uncivilized thing only takes place in countries like pakistan and its not even legal here in Canada. cuz to be quiet honest, thats the only thing id be against when it comes to my husband and my kids and he knows it.
When I say I am going to convert to shi'a islam.. I mean I am going attend majlises n wat not during moharram. The rumours abt them keeping a block of clay or watever under their forehead is lies. I donnu some sh'ias might do it but I know his family does not. The only time I actually see his family doing something different than my family is when they hold majlises in their house during moharram or go to mosque during moharram to attend majlises. I would want my kids to attend the majlises because they are very imformative and very well laid out. When I attended a few majlises, I really enjoyed listening to Imams talk and gained a lot of knowledge abt Quranic stories n wat not.
Thanks a lot for ur well wishes :). iA, everything will work out. I know my fiance is very open minded and he has no problem even if I choose not to attend majlises. I am really looking forward to being a part of his family and spending my life with him..iA.
I COMPLETELY agree with u. I donnu y ppl make a huge deal. Shias and Sunnis both follow the same religion and the basic teachings of both sides r the same. I donnu y its such a big deal to some ppl.
Abt the jew comment. LOL I have no idea 
I do believe that the topic of this thread is about inter-sect marriages.....and not the personal choices one makes in their own relationships. Let's not derail...thanks :)
From what i'v seen sunni/shia marriages don't work out too well, when the couple has a child. Since its usually the girl who makes the sacrifice of converting, when it comes to raising the child, many times the couple is not on the same mindset, and she is forced to tag along her husband. There is nothing wrong with that, but i think it keeps those women from expressing exactly how they wanted to raise the child.
**Its a completely different story if both partners are not too religious in their beliefs, and they decide to raise the child in a mix of sunni and shai traditions.*
Re: Sunni/Shia Marriage?
I am not going to question the morality of changing aqeeda but this is the right decsion for one person to change his her aqeeda as the problem will happen (as everyone mentions) when the kids will come in the picture.
I know of a sunni guy/Shia lady couple. Lady was unable to convince her hubby to raise kids as shia. They were raised sunni. Guess what happened when grand kids came. Dadi is teaching them Shia'ism. Lots of confusion and fights amongst saas bahu and what not.
ya that is interesting. I don’t think anyone brought up morality, grandparents, or kids choice of faith up in that thread, over there the consensus was that bi-racial kids are hot 
we as muslims are far more critical and intolerant of our own differences within, that’s just sad.
in the couple I have known personally, there is actually a lot of open discussion and pondering on these issues, much more than in an average households. not everything is followed blindly but read upon and discussed for the sake of making things clear to kids, i like that.
It’s who the practicing one is, usually it works if it’s a practicing with non practicing one and the kids follow the dominant one, which is the practicing one. Entering the marriage with the thought of changing the other sect after marriage doesn’t work. but before it usually does. I know a shia uncle married to sunni aunty , uncle non practicing, son being raised as sunni, another shia uncle married to sunni ( non practicing), sons being raised as shia.. Know two more shia uncles married to sunni, both with baby girls can’t tell what the babies will be …and one more shia married to an Indonesian lady, heard that she converted to shia ………. and there are plenty of shia sunni marriages in my khandan too….
but then there are also those who changed their sect, after marriage/ kids too, like both were sunni or shia before kids/marriage and one decided to changed to the other one... kids follow the practicing one in this scenario too ...
Re: Sunni/Shia Marriage?
I once had a chance to meet with a Shia and as soon as we started talking religion, she started cussing the Sahabas .. right there I knew that's it.. no more shias for me, even as friends. I have no respect for someone who has no respect for Islam.
But you are not a practicing Muslimah , so what do you care about it or why should we waste our breath explaining it to you. Moot point
WOW Sunni converting to Shia, sounds very scandalous. I don't think you can truly convert to Shia. You are a shia or you are not. Kher. Best of luck. Just like being a Jew. You are either a jew or you are not. You cannot convert to being a Jew. There are certain things involved.
what are the 'things' involved?
of course it can work out; and it used to be commonplace in our society as well.. aajkal kuch log ziada hi kattar ho gaye hain from both sides and there's a lot of ignorance about it as well and suni sunaayi baatein. .
i totally agree, it did used to be pretty common in our society, plus the lines between shia and sunni werent so defined, everyone participated in moharram, everyone loved ahlulbait, these days theres a lot of ignorance like u said caused by the 'suni sunayi' batain that are spread for political reasons, its sad our people cant see through it
Re: Sunni/Shia Marriage?
I think if both of them are totally non religious then it really doesn't matter. My best friend is shia but shes very very liberal. Their whole family drinks and goes to bars and all. SHe hooked up with sunni guy and they are so happily married. I mean neither of them really care at all. But im assuming if both parties are religious then it will create problems.