life sketch:
had bad experiences growing up, somehow things were intact between parents, but very losely intact..
part of growing up was losing people around , best friends betraying and backstabbing, ok everyone had problems.. but then kept dragging along… grew up… mentally ill, always troubles around, seeked peace in opposite genders, didnt realized rules of the game, and ignored/wasnt aware of the seriousness of matters jointly-involved…
finally found 1, things started off good.. and then BAMM! did something that screwed the whole scene up for both…
nobody around, family is no more, and friends are just for sake of knowing some people…
sketch lil bit completed, background info: understands basic principles of religion/society’s architecture, doesnt follow by practice/showing
now the pickle in the jar, how do i refrain this from going ahead with the plan..what points can i tackle?
dash is part of ‘occupation’ where life/death matters are dealt/forced on regular day2day basis.. so MEANING of living kinda isnt applied to dash’s eyes very well..
Suicidal people usually depend on other people to validate their existence, maybe insecurity issues are there also, which makes them seek friendships of the opposite sex, maybe they are seeking attention or something. There are underlying issues of (lack of) self-esteem. They also magnify perceived negativities in their lives.
Get them to see what good qualities they do have, and think of how to bring those out. Tell them to accept that mistakes have been made, make peace with themselves (and God, if religious) and try to do things right going forth, tell them they are not alone, as they have atleast one friend who does care (you, obviously), remind them that there are people out there who have to deal with much more difficult things, little children with terminal illnesses, etc. who are in so much pain, but never give up - to draw strength and inspiration from fighters instead of giving up. Not to panic when something goes wrong, as it's panic that makes them emotional, try to think rationally. There are people out there who have been in this mind-frame and have successfully come out of it to lead happy lives - does this person not even want to try to make it? Lastly remind them that suicide is not an option (accd to Islam) and dying can be very very painful.
I know a girl who was suicidal (this was 2 years ago) and her background was pretty much as you have described. When she was going through depression, it was an awful stage, it really started to affect me as well, but I persevered and we got through it. She went to some psychologist also and was taking drugs. They weren't helping, and I made her see that nothing was going to make things just go away. She had to deal with her monsters and make happiness in her life. She's not taking drugs anymore, and she is much better, but she goes through a cycle of dating, 7th heaven, breakup and depression, she can't get over her thinking that some guy is going to make her happy. That part I haven't been able to help her with (she's not Muslim so I couldn't tell her the religious aspect) but she's functional, she's not wanting to kill herself anymore, and I guess it's as much as I can do right now. Oh, I also pushed her to go back to school so she had something to focus on, mash'Allah she has completed her Masters recently and also got a promotion at work, which was a big boost. So I guess, find a path that will be a source of pride and help their self-confidence. It's a long, hard way but insha'Allah your friend will get through it.
Okay now, you can insist him/her to go on jogging or some sort of excercise routine. Tell him/her it is not as bad or hard as the suicide itself. You can try to accompany him/her if possible. He/she really needs some physical excercise. Will partially (in some cases completely) help getting rid of suicidcal tendencies.
tell the person that suicide wont affect those that dont care about him, but WILL hurt only those that DO love him...which is an idiotic thing to do.....so tell him/her to get their act together and not take life for granted, aim high and be positive. be content with what they have.
Well, you hook him up with me hehehe j/k
Tell your friend that life is too precious to be thrown away. it’s full of obstacles and he/she should not give up just because it not working out the way they want. You should take him/her out to movies, dinner. He/she should hit the gym, read, and keep themselves busy and if nothing works out get them professional help.
now the pickle in the jar, how do i refrain this from going ahead with the plan..what points can i tackle?
for your friend.
j/k