In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer – Do not use while sleeping.
(shoot, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos – You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifters special)?
On a bar of Dial soap – “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
(and that would be how???..)
On some Swanson frozen dinners – “Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
(but, it’s “just” a suggestion).
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) – “Do not turn upside down.”
(well…duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding – “Product will be hot after
heating.”
(…and you thought???..)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron – “Do not iron clothes on body.”
(but wouldn’t this save me more time)?
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine – “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid – “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(and…I’m taking this because???..)
On most brands of Christmas lights – “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(as opposed to…what)?
On a Japanese food processor – “Not to be used for the other use.”
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts – “Warning: contains nuts.”
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts – “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(nah i’ll just look at the packet)
On a child’s Superman costume(this one was da best 4 me) – “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
On a Swedish chainsaw – “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hand.”
(so they’ve tried it?)
