study after marrige

Lifestyle Relationships
1

is it easy to study after marrige specially in west…?
when u have to do house chores,when yout kids are too small or new born ..take care inlaws as u live with them etc is it possible to study in these halaat

2

Re: study after marrige

Honey stop worrying too much, double clicking your mouse don’t results in babies. :phati:

chalo khelo ja ker

3

its easy if you are living with inlaws and if you guys are living alone in early days of marriage, then husband become too shararti to let begum study :)

4

suhaina, the term 'easy' is relative. whats easy for one person may not be easy for another.

in my case, yes its mostly easy. i live in the US, both hubby and i work, no kids yet and i am doing my MBA through an online univ which makes it EXTREMELY more easy than it would have been if I chose a brick and mortar univ. at least now i dont waste time commuting to and from work and univ and sitting through endless lectures. the online format helps me have enough time to work, study and keep up a balanced household (ex cleaning, cooking, chores) without me going crazy!!

also in my case, my in laws do not live with me, so yes, that eases my burden greatly! however, since i feel that my life is already very well balanced and scheduled (thx to online classes) i feel that even if my inlaws did decide to visit for a good time i would still be ok and not go insane with being too too busy.

also, as i stated we dont have children yet. but IF i were to have a baby during my studies, i admit i would take a 'break' from studies until the baby is prob 3-4 months old so that he/she can be old enough to be on a set feeding/sleeping schedule...which would then allow me to resume studies and/or work and finish my degree.

5

It is possible.

Just depends on individual situations, if help and agreement from the people around you is available, resources available and most important personal determination.

6

Re: study after marrige

Thats why you DONT have kids when you get married if your willing to study. AND the key is to put up with the inlaws until you finish. There fore you dont have to worry about making hubby food. AND then when your done get your nice house, leave inlaws forever, get a nice career for 2-3 years. Enjoy hubby again. Then have a nice baby. Quit job. The end.

7

Re: study after marrige

Iam going to be studying for about three years after I marry to become a barrister. Yet fiance wants to have babies AND i have to live with in-laws.

Life sucks and I cry thinking about my upcoming wedding.

8

hahahah, thats a nice and blunt way of putting it. :sahar02:

9

awwww, im sorry to hear that. have u tried talking and discussing this with your fiance? maybe it would help if you made him understand your perspective on this?

10

Re: study after marrige

Thanks Anjana. He doesn't listen so I've compromised that if I do have a baby then there has to be a good gap between the first and the second child. Iam not having any more babies until I become a barrister InshAllah! :) He was quiet on that proposition.

Acha haye, he wants to have babies. Baad maye pata chalaye ga when you gotta clean the baby poo and wake up odd hours to rock the baby to sleep. Iam gonna kick him out of bed everytime the baby cries. lol..

gosh, i'am cruel.

11

It's possible and depends on the individual's commitment and support from family.
In our experience, begum did her masters while working fulltime and with 2 kids. Since we have no family around, there was no help. I know it was tough, but she did it and with A grade in all but one class.

May have been easier with family or inlaws around because there would have been more help.

I still remember while she was in her class, and I had late eve conf calls with Asian colleagues, being on the call and on mute while changing diapers.

Those were some days.

12

Re: study after marrige

I would have flunked.

13

Re: study after marrige

Life is only as hard as u make it out to be... u can do anything u want and everything that's possible.. just set ur target and make a plan.

Good luck!

14

nahi, your not cruel! your right, baad mein pata chalay ga,,,he just doesnt know the responsibiity that comes with having and raising children, lol

Operations starting in Punjab?
15

Re: study after marrige

Possible , but not easy to do . Most of the women before marriage say that they will do it , but hardly anyone do it . It require a supporting husband & In Laws . Something to be discussed before hand , if you are really interested .

16

Re: study after marrige

Yup it's definately possible! It was such an issue before I got married as I was done uni but still had to study while I worked for 1 year for my designation. Hubby/hubby's family had a problem with my job and the fact I had to travel (not out of the country or anything but go to clients)/work long hours sometimes, etc. Anyway, it was such an issue and I was worried that I would have problems later so I told my parents and they gave hubby and his parents a good talking to lol...that shut them up nice and quick! Anyway, I have to admit my MIL and FIL were really supportive after marriage and let me study. They did have issues with me working late though, but I couldn't really help it. Alhumdulillah I am done now and helping out more around the house in terms of cleaning and cooking. I think you have to have really understanding in-laws if you want to be able to study and live with them at the same time. My hubby was also really supportive afterwards so that also helped alot!

I have to admit though I felt INCREDIBLY guilty when I was upstairs studying and my MIL and SIL were cooking and cleaning...I really felt like I wasn't contributing, it was horrible!

17

what kind a reply is this? :mad:

18

Re: study after marrige

It's very difficult, you need an understanding and supportive hubby, family, in laws etc. If you live in it gets even harder because some people don't get the fact that you have to study at unsociable hours and sometimes can't contribute to the household. Then you have the issue of possible pregnancy.. if it happens, it happens and there's not much you can do about it. You have to work around the challenges and be dedicated to what you are doing.

I have a friend who married before finishing her studies and her in-laws promised to help her throughout her studies by paying for her course and allowing her to work when necessary. Needless to say they didn't live up to the promise and it wasn't long until the mother in law had found a job and expected my friend to do all the housework before going to uni and then come back from uni and cook and clean for the whole family. She even got a good telling off once for not cleaning the bathroom to her mother in laws standards!

Another friend married before starting uni, she got pregnant a few months after the wedding and was also doing her first year at university. She quit uni due to the sickness and never went back! The child is now almost 3!

Stardust09 I have first hand experience of the joys of being a law student :D good luck with the course.

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