A husband who won't put his wife's name on the deeds of the house implies he doesn't trust her (in most cases imo).. There are exceptions when it might not be pratical and so on but why would a husband not want his wife to have that security..
The wife's name does not have to be on the mortgage for her to have ownership in the home. In "community property" states, even if the mortgage/financing was only in one spouse's name, the other spouse still has ownership in the "deed"...they are two different things. The saying is "it takes one to buy, but two to sell".
Unless there are iron clad prenuptual or postnuptual agreements drawn up that specifically tackle assets/debts/property, the wife will have her name attached to the deed of the home.
Not if that debt/wealth came BEFORE the marriage. Income/other assets and debt become community property starting from the day the marriage papers are signed. Any debt and/or wealth incurred prior to the marriage remains separate. So the husband could be held liable for the wife's debt if the loan was taken out AFTER they got married (and vice versa).
What about inheritance and thiings like that? I guess legally and personally there are different rules. The husband might not be legally liable but may feel personally liable to help out.
The wife's name does not have to be on the mortgage for her to have ownership in the home. In "community property" states, even if the mortgage/financing was only in one spouse's name, the other spouse still has ownership in the "deed"...they are two different things. The saying is "it takes one to buy, but two to sell".
Unless there are iron clad prenuptual or postnuptual agreements drawn up that specifically tackle assets/debts/property, the wife will have her name attached to the deed of the home.
A loan 200k$ on education and then being financial burden on someone else is non-sense.
If someone spends this much on education, then she better have a good enough salary to pay it off herself.
I think eventually they'll have enough to pay it off but it would be easier to pay off if the spouse contributes. At the end of the day it's only money but if it can buy the happiness of the spouse it may be worth it. Sacrifices such as living in a smaller place, not travelling or spending on leisure activities would be worth it.
What about inheritance and thiings like that? I guess legally and personally there are different rules. The husband might not be legally liable but may feel personally liable to help out.
I know for a fact that in my state....inheritance and "gifts" do not become community property ever. So whatever inheritance my husband receives from his parents, I do not have any legal claim on it b/c it's inheritance. Its difficult to make general statement about legal "stuff" in the U.S. b/c laws can vary state to state.
I know for a fact that in my state....inheritance and "gifts" do not become community property ever. So whatever inheritance my husband receives from his parents, I do not have any legal claim on it b/c it's inheritance. Its difficult to make general statement about legal "stuff" in the U.S. b/c laws can vary state to state.
Ah ok i see. thanks for the clarification on the law around it.
Well I guess if it was the other way around and the guy was in 200K debt he might want his wife to help contribute to it or he might not want that to be a deal breaker. While having a house for children may be important later it might not be important right now. I think if you love someone you'd want to reduce the amount of stress they might be under because of debt. Besides, when you're debt free and she starts earning well, after being supported by her spouse, you might be able to buy a bigger house then you could with 1 solo income. With her income she can buy things both of you can share. When you marry someone you together promise to take care of finances, home and other life problems, to share in joy and sadness as well as to be best friends of each other. That's what I think.
your debt + apartment rent + car costs (+ possible new family cost) (+ old parents) + her debt= ??? are you kidding me.
Only important thing is to disclose it before marriage and if possible than before even getting into some sort of relationship. Both should sort it out mutually before one feel compelled because of emotional attachment to pay the loan instead of doing it happily...
Do not disclose it in "oh by the way...." Type discussion if loan is substantial
your debt + apartment rent + car costs (+ possible new family cost) (+ old parents) + her debt= ??? are you kidding me.
not even the so-called Love can justify this.
Like I said, her income, her debt.
True it might get excessive but where there is a will there is a way. I would also hope both sets of parents can chip in as well somewhat wth the cost.
The wife's name does not have to be on the mortgage for her to have ownership in the home. In "community property" states, even if the mortgage/financing was only in one spouse's name, the other spouse still has ownership in the "deed"...they are two different things. The saying is "it takes one to buy, but two to sell".
Unless there are iron clad prenuptual or postnuptual agreements drawn up that specifically tackle assets/debts/property, the wife will have her name attached to the deed of the home.
Here in the UK whoever's name is on the mortgage (if there is one, which obviously the vast majority of ppl do) is the owner of the home..
A loan 200k$ on education and then being financial burden on someone else is non-sense.
If someone spends this much on education, then she better have a good enough salary to pay it off herself.
Let me tell you a joke (may be a true story). An Arab's wife was ill, he took her to doctor. Doctor told him that he needs to do surgery and it will cost him 10000 dollars. The Arab said heck no, in 500 dollars i can get a new wife.
Marriages are not about financial gains or losses. Obviously the figure quoted by OP is random and just to make point. If you take that much loan then you will be making a ton as well.
Then Again it depends on what a marriage means in your culture.
Not if that debt/wealth came BEFORE the marriage. Income/other assets and debt become community property starting from the day the marriage papers are signed. Any debt and/or wealth incurred prior to the marriage remains separate. So the husband could be held liable for the wife's debt if the loan was taken out AFTER they got married (and vice versa).
I was not talking about legal point. I am talking about a real marrige which happens only once in lifetime.
Thanks for the reply Kakaji. I appreciate it :) You should make your perspective more known on the life thread as well :) Was that divorce case involving a desi couple? I think your answer matches what I expect to happen as well. True about the wealth part as well. I think desi guys are pretty open minded these days. I don't have facts or figures but from chatting to friends most are cool with being flexible about things like their wife working. From your experience of desis, like the indian ones, do you find most are open minded about sharing financial responsibilities or supporting their wives to work, whatever hours they need to etc? Or do you feel like there are still lot of restrictions? Do you believe many have similar beliefs to you when it comes to student loans?
That couple was mixed. Desi guy and gori girl.
In Dharmic religions marrige is a sacrament, which is different from ab******c cultures where marrige is a contract ( someone can correct me if i am wrong). In our culture it wont matter if you had a debt or not, i never heard about this issue ever before. For me it is silly to even think about.
forget about debt or money. One of my american friend's father was a handsome man in army when her mother got in to engagement with him. He went to vietnam and on the last day of his duty he stepped on a landmine, both his legs got blown off right from the root. he also lost 4 of his fingers. When he came back, her mother still married him and till date carries him around. Ask her if she would have shared the debt if there was any and she will laugh on your face.
I was not talking about legal point. I am talking about a real marrige which happens only once in lifetime.
Umm....what you wrote previously doesn't make any sense based on this but yea sure....whatever you say.
LOL........so "real marriage" happens only once in lifetime huh? So people who get divorced and remarry.....which marriage is the fake one...1st or 2nd?
One of my american friend's father was a handsome man in army when her mother got in to engagement with him. He went to vietnam and on the last day of his duty he stepped on a landmine, both his legs got blown off right from the root. he also lost 4 of his fingers. When he came back, her mother still married him and till date carries him around. Ask her if she would have shared the debt if there was any and she will laugh on your face.
She married him after he returned despite his injuries b/c she was already in love with him. I'm pretty sure it wasn't an arranged engagement. They most likely dated for months (if not years) before getting engaged...and then he left for Vietnam. That emotional attachment/commitment was already there. Its a very different situation compared to an arranged marriage where the 2 people don't have time/energy/emotions invested in the relationship (actually, there is no relationship when things like debt are being discussed in the beginning).
I think debt is likely to be an important topic in an arranged marriage. I wouldn't blame someone for not being willing to take on a large debt. At the end of the day, you have to be prudent about money matters.
Also, consider this - what if the guy has $200K debt instead of the girl? Would the girl's parents agree to such a rishta?
I would be ok with that kind of debt. Think about home mortgages, depending on where you live mortgages can be on average about 300K. For an average size home.
I know a girl who received a rishta from this guy but they backed out when she told the guy that she has to work after marriage to pay off her law school debt. They had the audacity to inquire why her dad isn't paying for it even though her dad had paid for her undergrad. The guy actually said to the girl if you're using your salary to pay off your loans, how are we going to afford the other luxuries of life? It's as if the guy was hoping to get a cash cow instead of an educated girl.
Some Pakistani guys are just unbelievable. They don't realize that going to professional schools in North America usually does involve incurring quite a bit of debt. So they want their wife to be a doctor or a lawyer but then expect her to stay home after she is married. How is she supposed to pay off her loans then?!
I know a girl who received a rishta from this guy but they backed out when she told the guy that she has to work after marriage to pay off her law school debt. They had the audacity to inquire why her dad isn't paying for it even though her dad had paid for her undergrad. The guy actually said to the girl if you're using your salary to pay off your loans, how are we going to afford the other luxuries of life? It's as if the guy was hoping to get a cash cow instead of an educated girl.
Some Pakistani guys are just unbelievable. They don't realize that going to professional schools in North America usually does involve incurring quite a bit of debt. So they want their wife to be a doctor or a lawyer but then expect her to stay home after she is married. How is she supposed to pay off her loans then?!